Is Your Partner Leaving Therapy (When They Aren't Done) A Dealbreaker For You?

[fonduegirl]

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1 y

Y'all have such negative opinions on therapy 😭😞😭

[V_Injector]

Here's my reason... that chick just started blaming me for everything (the therapist), and then just started pushing for us to break up or take a break. We started therapy because we were trying to fix things. Well, this is on a military base and I started talking to my kid's babysitter who had also gone to see her. It is the same story... started blaming her man for everything even though she was the one that cheated and did certain things. Started trying to split them up.

It wasn't even a month later after I quit because it was obviously one sided... guess who hit me up online for some NSA sex? The baby sitter hit me up face to face, but that therapist was trying to fuck.

Living in the states we decided to try it again... obvious denials from the wife as always. This is what it took to make a therapist, this one was a big ole obese woman, actually useful. I decided there was no point for me to go. So during the last session where I was included, because I was shutting that down for myself... I told the therapist that I wasn't returning. That my wife would continue and she's going to be honest and tell you everything, including the things she can't bring herself to tell me. Then please help her work through that.

That worked! Without me there, she finally got honest with someone and got real feedback about me and he own behavior. With me there though it was like a blame game where I seem to be the only one that takes any blame for anything. Plus I didn't have another therapist start hitting me up for sex later.

Bottom line is my chick was never going to be honest about reality with me there. And because of that she was never going to be told that maybe, just maybe, she's a being a bit fucked up.

[fonduegirl]

That's one hell of a story

[V_Injector]

Yeah it's the stuff you can't just make up.

Individual therapy I see in a better light, but couples stuff... the fight just moves on as usual and some therapist with no knowledge of how either of you actually are is trying to figure out what's going on. If they have one iota of bias, like wanting to cheat themselves and then seeing men that have been cheated on trying to deal with it... there's a good chance she's just gonna want to split you two up and get some dick for herself.

Couples therapy is bullshit. I know it's more expensive, but seeing your own therapists independent of each other is the way to go. Make sure it's not the same therapist for both of you.

I mean for reals, my woman would admit to the cheating I can 100% prove, but she was sticking to all the deceptions that are there face to face with me there. At least with me not being there she was able to talk about the real shit... the shit she can't make herself say in front of me.

Major changes happened after I cut myself out of therapy. She quit clubbing/bars/parties, stopped hanging with slut friends, stopped being a constant excuse and blame machine of a person. She had one relapse, because she made a friend that decided she was going to start cheating on her husband later on and of course dragged her into the mix. Fortunately, they started fighting and she got her self back on a no drama track again and I think she's truly starting to understand that we are the company we keep.

[fonduegirl]

Okay

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

Unless we're talking about court ordered therapy
Or the delicate case of rehab:

Therapy is not a prison, nor a sanctionit has no specific end time planned, its not a damn job or holidaysIt is more than often a last resort for someone in distressAlso what deal are you referring to, if there is pact going on with therapy as leverage, it smells not good to me, counter-productive even

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

ah, sorry for the lack of spaces, text formatting must be kidding me ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[SugarSugarplum]

Considering that therapy isn't for everyone, and the number of blatantly anti-male counselors I have encountered, I'd be fine with my guy leaving therapy early if he didn't think it was helping.

[alice55]

No, because I do not believe in therapy if as a partner you aren't able to help them then you aren't meant to be together

[fonduegirl]

🙄🙄🙄🙄 um.

[Yannae]

It isn't a deal breaker if it wasn't working. Sometimes that therapist just isn't the right one. It's a deal breaker if she isn't going to look for another.

It's also a deal breaker if the therapy WAS working and she dropped it and the problems arise again.

I hate quitters.

[ProbablyClueless]

I would probably see something like that as a personal failure. It depends on the specific situation, of course, but I might end a relationship over something like that, if the issue was serious enough.

[CuriousHubby]

Are they stopping therapy or just walking out early mad?

If they are stopping it angerly it will probably end what is broken.

[sawno]

Probably not at all, I have little faith in therapy to begin with and if I am with her I probably already enjoy being around her. I'd rather have her explore other options or help her myself if therapy wasn't working.

[shortster]

Nope, therapy isn't cheap; and keeping a roof over one's head is more important.

[fonduegirl]

They can get free therapies at clinics are city hospital from what I know

[shortster]

But are they any good? I assume that they are like public defenders.

[fonduegirl]

Better than nothing

[shortster]

Well that depends on what you need therapy for.

[fonduegirl]

Absolutely

[bowenw]

It would depend on the circumstances. If the therapy was a success and they don't require more, it would be okay.

[TedBr]

I’ve never been to therapy and I would not expect my partner to go there either. Perfectly sane grown ups can most of the time work things out by talking to each other.

[fonduegirl]

I don't think you have to be batshit crazy in order to go to therapy.

[MicahRaine]

Not unless they're in therapy for something absolutely wild that they did.

[fonduegirl]

For example?

[MicahRaine]

Well if they tried to harm someone not out of self defense

[Anonymous]

That depends, why are they in therapy? I'm not always sold that therapy is what someone needs.

[fonduegirl]

Of course not, Gender X

[DrPepper12]

No. It's ok to walk away and COME BACK after a breather

[Grond21]

I don't even know what this is

[dudegreat91]

Nah therapy just seems like a fad to me.

[fonduegirl]

LoL what

[dudegreat91]

Yeah they make you sit in a circle and hold hands with each other and sing songs ;P

[fonduegirl]

I've a degree in psychology... That's called group therapy or anonymous meeting, you weirdo

[dudegreat91]

Well I don't consider it useful at all. Keep the personal insults to yourself if you don't like other's opinions

[fonduegirl]

All right

[Agape93]

Nope