When you stop desiring your partner, is that the time to leave?

Question

megabamse · Accepted Answer

Desiring, so you saying sexually? If everything else is there and work i would say no. If the love is still there then why leave? Sometimes we get into a rut sort of speak, a dry patch. But by talking to each other without blaming and pointing fingers would often help. It takes work to keep the love going. If you stop watering a plant it will die. Same goes for love. What have you done for each other lately? What have you done for her lately? Or her for you? Take the next steps together, sit down and have a talk. Along the lines of i want to fall in love with you all over again, i want to grow together with you, enjoy the rest of our lives together. Is there anything you would like us to do together, me to do with you? Something to learn and experience together? Let her open up first, then you can come with ideas yourself. All these small actions, compliments will make the two of you to reconnect all over again. It will feshen things up again. And that might get the heat going again. It takes two, don't point fingers and say you fix this. No, look at what you can do for her. Also if you are in a way talking about looks and bodies changing? Then it's natural as we age, we will look different, we won't be model's. And i have a way for you to ask her. You tell her that YOU want to get healthy, want to eat healthy and become more physically healthy. You want this you you can enjoy life with her in the future to. But you can't do it without help, and it would mean so much if you (she) could do it with me (you). So we do this for us and our future together. Chances are she will. And now you have to stick to it. Support each other on the way to healthier future together.

Brainsbeforebeauty · Accepted Answer

Relationship? Or marriage?
just a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship maybe (I still say try to work it out, get to the root of why you stopped desiring them) but marriage? Is marriage not for better worse in sickness and in health blah blah till death do you part. I’m sure that falls in there somewhere. And too when people think about sex and marriage they think about just the here and now, what about the older years when your 70 and 80, don’t get me wrong there’s some old people that still are able to and still have sex, but there’s also a lot that can’t due to old age or health. So then, leave then too. If you truly love someone, it wouldn’t be so easy to leave at any hint of trouble without at least trying to resolve the issue. That’s not forever love, that’s for now love… but guess forever love is rare in today’s world.

Aerissa_Jade · Accepted Answer

It is more complicated than that, especially if you are married. You should stay and fix it and work on things.

Too many people these days run into problems and just give up and walk away.

I would definitely try to get my husband to figure out what is going on first before considering leaving. I would give it a great deal of time and effort, if things still weren't getting better after effort for along time then yeah it would be time to leave.

Even then there are other factors, if we have children or how intertwined life is. It isn't always easy to just leave if everything is woven together like a rug.

In some of those cases, if others could be injured I would not want to leave for their own protection. That is as long as the worse thing is he doesn't desire me.

Guy13 · Answer

Intensity of desire is in a constant state of flux, therefore, intimacy levels also fluctuate. Worldview matters now.

Commitment in marriage Covenant or the lack thereof clearly displays the original intentions of both parties in Arrangement. And, there is a distinct difference between “together as long as it is good Significant Other” and a written covenantal contract between Man, Wife, Creator, God witnessed both by a communion of people and the State.
We will most likely take the path of least resistance.

OlderAndWiser · Answer

No. That s the time to ask: How did this happen and can we fix it?

LivDev · Answer

This question is INCREDIBLY nuanced. Depends on the level of "partnership" first of all.

Marriage/Fiancés- Heck no, work that crap out.

BF+GF Domestic (2 years+, Living together)- Maybe, depending on how long you've been together and the context of the loss of attraction.

BF+GF (>2 years, Living apart)- Probably.

It's honestly just as important to if not more, finding out WHY, if you can. Because it could be a mistake to act on depending on what it is.

LovingJo · Answer

Depends on the reason you feel that way...
It could be due to illness, whether physical or mental.
Could be due to stress and/or anxiety...
Or it could just be that you've drifted apart from various things happening/or not, between you.

If you want to both work it out, then you could ignite it again, but if it's only one way.. Then it's usually down hill, from then on.

FreyaRed · Answer

In relationship without marriage the answer is yes. Marriage is about promises and compromises. If you marry a BFU (bald, fat, ugly) putting the "I'm not attracted to you anymore" card after some time sounds incredible. If he turned into BFU after some time, it's time to look in the mirror realistically if you aren't member of same club.

Anonymous · Answer

As with everything else you invest soo much time and resources into, all relationships Must have a propose.

If that propose is to pleasure yourself by feeding your desire then you should not expect it to ever last, as like it or not said desire will end.

If however the propose of that relationship is any security of children (as was the original propose of marriage) or even just yourselves then your relationship cannot be based upon desire but commitment for that propose. Indeed you may even choose someone you don't desire as not to become so confused.

NathanDavis · Answer

when the desire and attraction, the passion starts to fade... that's when you start working on it instead

and if you didn't... that might be a sign that you really didn't want to be all there

if you made it to the full stop, things have been long gone for a long time as well

Anonymous · Answer

It’s time to communicate to make things up. Americans are so chill about leaving their partners like in a second, both men and woman. how can one leaves like that when others aren’t ready or prepared to do life. They might have seen the future or prepared to go through life with their partner and rely on and feel safe. Now if one partner doesn’t feel desired, or happy or anything, then in seconds they decide to leave like it’s an option.

It goes like this.

Sneeze: leave
Fart : leave
Cough : leave
Snore : leave

Surely you’ve problems with your mentality. Surely there will be a relationship with everyone around you. Can you abandon your own child or mother or father or friend if they do the same. Of course you can do anything, because Great American land offers such a great freedom.

DizzyDesii · Answer

I would first try to provide eachother tips to rekindle the physical attraction and mental connection. If its not working after about a month, then yea its time go before someone ends up emotionally hurt

Moist_Gums · Answer

I wouldn't necessarily say it's time to leave but I would say it's a signal that somethings need to change. Definitely work with your partner as much as you can first. Relationships are work sometimes and that's okay.

Leaving should only be the option if you worked on your issues with them and nothing changes. Its likely in that case that you two grew apart instead of closer together. So its time to move on to the next chapter of your lives then.

SpanishRose · Answer

Communication is key here.

If the flame is fizzling out time to step up your game if you want to keep your partner.

Relationships take effort and work, and if your married or in a long term relationship you should always try new things, spice things up, be spontaneous and that's how you keep them guessing and interested.

Sour-rose · Answer

This... I couldn't do it. Desire them or not, if they have a place in my heart, I'd become that crazy girl who couldn't let them go that easily.

AdithyaR · Answer

Depends on how you describe desire. If you mean the initial honeymoon phase desire stuff, then no, that's not a sign to leave, eventually relationships mellow out into a more comfortable phase. The initial kind of desire is still there when you maintain it but that doesn't become the crux of your relationship.

On the other if you what you lose is a complete lack of desire to be with this person or make things work, do them a favor and let them go.

sheenagwapa · Answer

i only wanna date Asiqns and in fairness with my ex before i never stop desirinh him

NostalgiaSenpi · Answer

I wouldn't. Desire is like a flame, sometimes it takes a little while. I'm more for the long haul, than to drop them like a hot potato.

Still-alive · Answer

yeah pretty much. sexual attraction is extremely important. especially if you are starting to fantasize about people other than your partner

Anonymous · Answer

No. People have to work through their problems together and make things work, it helps them be more attracted to one another. Attraction isn’t always physical for a lot of people. Too many people give up on the slightest concept of inconvenience. If they aren’t desiring their partner; they have to talk to their other half or do some soul searching - but whatever do I know - I’m single for over ten years

RobT312 · Answer

Not sure you need to just walk away and leave. Especially If married. It just means you need to fix something or at least try

nawtee_me · Answer

I would say figure out what has caused the loss of attraction between you so that you can work on it or at least you know what to avoid in the next relationship. cause and effect...

Anonymous · Answer

Everything so sexually related it’s disgusting  Humans are dying so soon AI at this point makes sense

UncleBilll · Answer

If she's not putting out sex, no need to stick around

PainusNdeeAnus · Answer

If men lose interest we just cheat but stay with her because men are capable of loving their wife while their penis is inside of another woman

msc545 · Answer

Probably - or time to cheat...

Guardian45 · Answer

It's the time to find out why? And DO SOMETHING about it!

Minahh · Answer

I'd say yes. Usually it's a sign of a much deeper issue.

When you stop desiring your partner, is that the time to leave?

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