In a relationship but my heart is with someone else…what do I do?

[Anonymous]

This is very stupid but I need help.
I’ve been with my boyfriend for almost 3 years and I love him, but my heart is honestly and truly with someone else and I’m not sure what to do.
I met this other guy about 10 years ago when we studied together and I’ve always liked him and had a connection and keep coming back him, every few years one of us will reach out to the other and check in.

he's married now but when we last spoke he mentioned they live separately and I could stay there if I ever visited…things like that make it so difficult for me to move on even though I never had him to begin with….
Am I emotionally cheating?
I want to be with this guy but I can’t, so I feel like I’m settling for my boyfriend and it’s a horrible awful terrible feeling and I’m very depressed about it all….

Please help me, any advice? Thanks.

[Anonymous]

Your ex is married, so that isn’t going to happen and you’re better than partaking in his cheating, or efforts to cheat. However that does mean you should stay with this man who you don’t fully want. Like If you truly feel aa though you’re settling for your boyfriend, then be honest with yourself about that and end it. I’m sure he has his redeeming qualities and that overall the relationship is fine, but when your heart is with someone else, you’ll never be able to fully give yourself to him how he gives himself to you (assuming he does).

[Asker]

Exactly, Thankyou for your answer. Thats the worst part…my boyfriend adores me but I feel like my heart will never be 100% his and it kills me 😞

[SweetJoyGirl]

You should focus on your own life. He is married. Period. You have been in a three year relationship. You are going to throw that away for a married man? Are you serious? Do yourself a favour and stop talking to the married man. If you can’t, then that is your sign to BLOCK him.

[Asker]

Thankyou!

[SweetJoyGirl]

Best of luck! 💜💜💜

[bowenw]

Follow you heart. Why can't you make it work with the guy you like?

[Asker]

It’s very complicated…he’s married and I’m in love with my boyfriend but this connection with this guy is so strong, it’s just never been the right time

[bowenw]

If he is living separately could be planning to divorce his wife. I hope there is a way you can be with the one who has your heart.

[Asker]

Thankyou! I’ve never lost hope, if it’s meant to be 💫

[bowenw]

I wish you the best of luck making it happen.

[AI Opinion]

Diving into the tangled web of the heart, aren't we? Sounds like you've got a classic case of "the one that got away" syndrome but with a twist—you're caught in a love triangle where you're the only one aware of its existence. First things first, it’s absolutely essential to acknowledge your feelings as valid; however, it's equally important to recognize the distinction between love and infatuation, especially when the lines begin to blur.

Emotionally, you might be tiptoeing into the realm of emotional cheating, especially if your connection with this other guy is taking precedence over your current relationship. The key here is honesty—with yourself and with your boyfriend. Reflect on what you truly desire and need in a relationship. Are you glorifying a past connection because it's an unexplored path or because it genuinely holds more substance than your current relationship?

Communicate with your boyfriend, but before you do, sort through your feelings decisively. Understand that real connections require more than just a strong emotional pull—they need timing, mutual availability, and commitment, none of which seems to be in full alignment with your old flame, who is navigating his own complicated life situation.

Lastly, consider seeking the guidance of a professional to navigate these deep waters. It's a tough spot, but remember, making a choice grounded in self-awareness and honesty is the first step towards clarity and, ultimately, happiness. Strive for a future where you're not settling but rather, are settled in love. Good luck!

[Account]

You do not love him. You love the habit. You claim that you feel like you are settling. That is because you are. That is because you don't love him. Why can't people just stop fooling themselves when that happens?
Why do they all fear being single unless they secure themselves with someone else?
I don't understand it and I probably never will.

[Anonymous]

My advice is to post this again in an hour for a third time

[Asker]

Yay great idea, I will thanks! Leave an answer won’t you!

[jahaims]

You are too immature for a healthy relationship