Is it a red flag if he's friends with his ex?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend is in touch with his ex who was the love of her life for 10 years, they were childhood friends as well.. He told her about me, she got upset with him and didn't talk.. He later talked to her and he told me that she sounded calm and was happy for him and me, even she's getting married and she blessed both of us for a happy life together.. My boyfriend said that she was a very significant part of his life for a decade so to have her best wishes as he begins his new chapter with me is very important for him.. I acted really cool and mature about it, but I got a little uncomfortable hearing it.. Should I be okay with this?

[AI Opinion]

Ah, the classic scenario of the ex who's still in the picture! First off, kudos to you for handling it like a champ initially. It’s totally natural to feel a twinge of discomfort—after all, nobody loves the idea of their partner being chummy with their ex, especially when the history runs deep. But here's the sparkly side: communication seems to be on point between you two. He's open about his interactions with her, which is a great sign of trust and transparency. And remember, she's about to walk down her own aisle, which likely means she's moved on too.

It sounds like they’ve managed to transition from lovebirds to friends, which, while it might raise an eyebrow, isn't a red flag on its own. The key here is how it affects your relationship. If he's setting clear boundaries, keeping you in the loop, and making you feel valued and prioritized, those are all green lights. Keep the lines of communication open, express your feelings without accusation, and trust your gut. This could very well just be a chapter of his past that's closed, paving the way for your shared future. Love is all about navigating those bumps together, right? And remember, it's okay to keep a watchful eye on how this evolves—just wrap it in understanding and love. 😉

[Summeroflove]

Okay so you acted cool and mature that is a very good thing to hear but you do need to remember that communication is key and if something is bothering you respectfully express your feelings with your boyfriend and listen to his side of things too, it’s not meant to be a argument but allowing things to fester can and will lead to this.

What matters as well is trust if you feel like you can trust your boyfriend if a opportunity presented itself that you know in your heart he would do the right thing then that’s a good thing. Look especially being with someone for ten years there are emotions that can come up when being around that person.

Just have a serious conversation about how you feel about this situation that’s the mature thing to do. What would be immature to do is, allow something to fester, then be passive aggressive and allow these things to come out in other negative ways until it’s leads to a huge fight later on. I can promise you this type of thing never ends well.

Also, don’t expect him to be a mind reader express your thoughts and feelings. It’s not saying that he has to cut contact with her. It’s just sharing your emotions and him sharing his. Working through this before it becomes a bigger problem

[Anonymous]

Start talking to your ex (es) about him and see how he likes it.