He's not over them. Doesn't matter if he talks about his past relationships positively or negatively. Constantly bringing them up means he has unresolved issues. It's one thing to talk a little people you've dated in the past when asked (and even then you shouldn't go on at length about it) but it's another it have it be a constant thing. Likely the same stuff happens over and over in his relationships (probably something he does or lets happen by picking certain people or not being assertive enough in what he wants) and instead of figuring out how to fix and avoid it he keeps repeating the same pattern. Until he finds out what that pattern is and how to stop it he'll continue making the same mistakes. You might end up as another one of his exes he talks about all the time. He needs to grow up a lot and there isn't much you can do to help him right now.
I say it really all depends on where the line is drawn. You want some type of information about his past because it reflects the future and his future choices. He doesn't have to always go into detail. But it helps to pay very close attention to what he says and does. The sex part is very important because that is how you will know if you're compatible with him or not. Such as what are his views about it, does he respect your views, what kind of sex acts he's into, and such. However, again, he doesn't have to get into detail. But it's always good to let the other express themselves because everything is an act until you see how they react. You don't want to fall for a fact and then regret it. If it sounds like he's always bashing his ex, or constantly praising his ex. Then THAT is a red flag.
this is his way of manipulating you . he is warning you not to behave like his ex's .
what he's saying is . you're just as bad as they were . unless you do what he likes .
his comparisons of you to his ex's is his way of telling you how to act and not make him angry .
the way you are suppose to please him or else . bc if he gets into one of his moods it's
your fault just like his ex's . he's potentially an abusive control freak .
oh i'm sorry i don't mean potentially . he is already controlling you .
talking to him is useless . free yourself from a victim villain .
How is he comparing it exactly? Like is he comparing you to them and finding you wanting? Then that's a bad sign and you need to talk to him about it. If he is saying how horrible they where but your great well then that might not be a bad thing (my friend will occasionally talk about his ex in front of his girlfriend and it usually ends with him explaining that his girlfriend is awesome and his ex was terrible). However if its constant you need to talk to him about it because its not fair to you that your stuck with this baggage. How would he like it if you where constantly brining up your exs to him? So just talk to him, be upfront be direct and let him know that it bothers you. If it continues and he makes no attempt to change then it might be necessary for you to break up.
D, we all have our issues and quirks, if we left every relationship at the first sign of a problem, we wouldn't have a human race. Stand your ground and confront him that this is making you feel uncomfortable (and rightfully so) give him a few weeks to a few months at most (depending on what you feel most comfortable with) to change, helping him along the way.
If all fails, choose B, it's a failed relationship and his obsession with his exes might end up in some love triangle between you, him and one of his exes who might want to get back together with him. He sounds like the comparative judging type anyway, no one should have to deal with being personally treated like shit by the one they love for too long
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I don't know, unless he's talking about how much he loves them. It takes some people a long time to get over things, I don't think you can expect someone to just act like a robot and exile their feelings and thoughts about a thing that may have been a major part of their life for a long time. It's just not realistic or really moral even.
But if it's been going on for a while, or he keeps doing it the same amount after some time has passed, then I would consider it a problem.
Yes, I'd definitely consider that a red flag. Casually mentioning an ex once in a while is fairly normal, but bringing them up constantly implies that he is stuck in the past or still harboring feelings for them. And if he is openly comparing you to his exes- yikes. Get out of there.
If you really appreciate him and wish to have a long term relationship, then you should talk to him about it. Its important for you to communicate your feelings openly, and allow him to answer to your feelings. Communication is crucial in building a solid relationship.
I voted B but for me it kind of depends.
If he's talking about his exes like "hey, I love this place, I haven't been here since so-and-so and I broke up," then that wouldn't bother me. I think that's normal. People don't come into your life fresh out of the box, after all.
However, if he's comparing you to his exes and making you feel shitty, then I wouldn't stick around. There are far better things and people to do and meet. You don't have to settle for a serial nitpicker.
I think you should at least let him know it's bothers you when he constantly talks about his ex.
Personally when guys do this, I feel like they're just trying to show off/make you jealous on purpose to gauge your reaction. If he doesn't stop after you've spoken to him about it then I'd probably break up with him. Behaviour like that can be quite damaging to a relationship.
If he's talking about ALL of his past exes, I don't think he hasn't moved on from them.
However , it's not healthy for any relationship if you compare your present sex life to those of your past.
It could just be that he's immature or bragging. It's like he's trying to prove something.
If you're uncomfortable about him talking that way, then either mention it to him, or end it and let that be a deal-breaker for you
You should talk to him and ask him why he is always talking about his past relationships… those girls shouldn't be on his mind whilst he's out spending time with you. You two should be getting to know about each others lives, but not about his ex's, why would he think you'd give a shit about them or his old sex life.
It's definitely a red flag. Don't settle for someone who can't see past their past relationships to be with you. It's one thing if it's trauma but even then you're settling for someone who can't handle being in a relationship. It's not proper behavior to frequently talk about exes to your partner.
I don't have much problems if someone brings up their ex on a casual basis (for example I mention a place and they sag their ex lives there). What I do have problems with is if they either absolutely hate their ex especially if it seems to be for a silly reason or if they seem to still be in love with them.
Stay with him a little longer but stand your ground and confront him about the issue. If he continues, then warn him it's his last chance. If he still persists on talking about his ex's after that then leave him and cease contact.
I thinks that's a red flag. If I am on a date then I don't want to hear her talk about her exes unless I ask her. This is our date. I don't want to compare myself with her exes. She can compare me to her exes in the background. And I will compare my exes in the background.
You should say something like 'well it was real nice learning so much about your ex's... now let's move on or I'm going to move on from you and trust me the next guy i date will know NOTHING about you.'
If he does it one more time, you slap him... slap him real hard... and then walk out on him...
lol... thats a definite red flag. and depending on what is being said... could get even worse.
If its bad shit... thats no good, if its good shit... thats fine, but then you gotta ask what you are doing there then...
this goes both ways.
I couldn't be with a girl who talks about her ex all the time.
So maybe you need to take a look at this from another prospective.
I think it's a deal breaker if he does it often. The new girl should never hear about the past girls unless the new girl asks information about them.
D + 100% red flag. it's never a good thing to compare exes/gf's...
is it that he's talking about his ex's like he's reminiscing or is he talking s*** about them like mentioning all the things they f***** up on
It's not so much a red flag as it is just annoying af. Like you're with me now. Get over your ex or we don't need to be together.
I've been in this situation with a guy and I wished I got out of it when I could. He Talked about an ex on the first date.. I was kind enough to pass it off.. but 6 mos into it I ended it because he still was communicating /friends with her. Wish I could have saved 6 mos of my life just ending it there. You deserve to be with someone not still hurt and who You don't have to worry about if other women are occupying his time/mind.
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