Is it a red flag if boyfriend keeps talking about his toxic ex over and over and over and over again?

[Anonymous]

He's mentioned her 8 times in 5 conversations. She cheated on him multiple times, and I get it that that was very traumatic. But a part of me thinks he'd never love a woman the way he used to love her. Thoughts?

[Anonymous]

I dated a guy who had a traumatic relationship with a girl before he pursued me. He did the same thing he would mention her and the psycho stuff she did. Not every day but one in a while. Honestly, I think he needs to heal himself based on what you wrote. I'm sure he's a wonderful man but if he's mentally not able to heal and accept the trauma and continue with his life. And yes not all but some would compare you to the previous girl. I know its messed up but hopefully yours doesn't do it directly. There's a difference between mentioning it to a therapist a 8 times versus telling you more than 5.

I'm 100% sure you're a better woman for him than she was to him, but you also deserve someone who is healed and able to give you his all. His resentment towards her will affect you if he doesn't heal. He probably deeply loved her and felt betrayed she was toxic.

[Little_Bumblebee]

Sounds like he hasn't gotten iver what happened.
He might be over her, I wouldn't know, but not what happened.

I talked constantly about my ex after finally getting out of the unhealthy relationship.
And now, almost 2 years later, I don't talk as much about it anymore -and I'm sure my friends are relieved.

He needs to heal and get over it before he dates again.

[TheFlak38]

Now you know how it is to be a man having to listen to a woman playing the victim, complaining about that toxic ex and how she deserves special treatment because of that.

[In_Trance]

Huge red flag

[Pinay_ako]

It is. It means you’re just a rebound and the moment she gives him another chance, he’s out. Sorry 😞

[ochitougly]

Hell yes! He needs to heal before he dates someone else! He’s not ready for a relationship if he’s still not over his ex!