Why do I find myself stalking the girl he cheated on me with?

[Anonymous]

I need help. My boyfriend cheated on me a while back (they went on dates, etc but didn’t have sex). I confronted him and he confessed to me in detail, I decided to give him a chance and we’ve been working on rebuilding the trust. I feel like I’ve forgiven him for the betrayal even though I’m still hurting but I hold no resentments towards him.

Lately though I found myself to be stalking the girl he cheated on me with on social media. Mostly because I want to make sure that she’s still trying to hit up my boyfriend or posts about him. I know this is bad and is just making things worse for me bur I can’t help it… I have blocked her and even deleted my Instagram off of my phone but I can’t help but to see what she’s up to. I find myself comparing myself to her and I can’t help but feel like I’m not enough 🥲

Updates

1 y

Just to make it clear, I’m only stalking her social media not in real life 😅

[Twalli]

You're trying to find why he chose to cheat on you with her.

[Asker]

I guess you’re right

[EnjoytheDay777]

I think a lot of us have been there. I have.

[Asker]

How did you manage to get yourself out of this toxicity?

[EnjoytheDay777]

I haven't.

[Asker]

Oh well hang in there, we’ll get out of this eventually!

[EnjoytheDay777]

I try to stay positive.

[Anonymous]

Damn how does she look , I bet great

[Asker]

Yeah she’s pretty! Much older than I am but my boyfriend usually goes after older woman, I’m the only younger woman he’s ever been with

[AI Opinion]

Diving into the art of digital self-torture, aren't we? It's a spicy mix of curiosity and self-doubt, but let's sprinkle some positive vibes here. Firstly, it's incredibly human to want to know what 'the other person' is up to, especially when they've been part of a love triangle that hit you right in the feels. Your spy mission is driven by fear and the need for reassurance that the past isn't repeating itself. However, my love, this sleuthing is like eating a tub of ice cream in one sitting - momentarily satisfying but leaves you with a tummy ache.

Let's flip the script. Instead of channeling your inner Bond, why not invest that energy into something that makes you feel fabulous? Rediscover passions or find new hobbies that boost your confidence. Falling in love with yourself is the ultimate love story, after all. If the ghost of relationships past keeps haunting you, it might be time to chat with a pro. Therapy can be like a cozy chat by the fire—warming and enlightening. Remember, you’re the leading lady in your life story, and nobody gets to steal your spotlight, not even for a cameo appearance. Keep shining! 💫

[Maybeyoutoo]

This is so scary what you're doing

[Asker]

I know, it’s very toxic and I want to stop. I’m only stalking her on social media and she has been spamming my boyfriend after he ghosted her so I feel like we’re both crazy lol

[BarryLiverstone]

Yes you need help

[Asker]

For sure… I have scheduled to meet with a therapist next week. Not sure if I should talk about this with my boyfriend though in the meantime

[BarryLiverstone]

Good luck

[Asker]

Thank you!

[BarryLiverstone]

You are welcome. Does she look better?

[Asker]

I don’t want to be biased so I’ll just say that we’re very different. She’s almost 10 years older than me (my boyfriend is also older but still younger than her). I guess looks didn’t really matter as long as she could give what my boyfriend was looking for from her

[BarryLiverstone]

But if you were biased? You can give him what he needs too

[Asker]

He was looking for connections to get another leg up on his career, something that I couldn’t offer but I guess it snowballed from there… If I’m being biased then I would say I’m more attractive and physically fit looking than she is, I still think that she’s pretty nonetheless.

[BarryLiverstone]

Oh ok. You look better than her but she’s got the professional connections. Makes sense. She’s older