Can I please have some advice?
I was with my ex for 2 years. We ended it because he cheated on me with my "friend." This "friend" of mine, who was in a long-term relationship herself at the time, would always ask about my ex and how our relationship was going.
I noticed that during our friendship she would always make comments about me "being able to attract the guys" and being "perfect", but I pushed it to the back of my mind. She started messaging my ex behind mine and her boyfriend's back. My ex obviously responded positively because they started sleeping together while she was still being my friend to my face and pretending to support me.
When I found out, I was blindsided obviously. My ex and I had a huge fight and I never spoke to him again. He then started dating this "friend" and they've been together ever since. As far as I know they're still dating.
I have nothing to do with either of them now, and I'm in a new relationship. My boyfriend and I have just become exclusive. But I saw the other day that he followed a familiar name on his instagram. It is the same girl my ex cheated on me with. I don't know how he knows her because he's never met her. I know I shouldn't have looked but I did a little stalk of his profile and she's clearly followed him recently and has been liking his pictures. I've also seen that he's liked a few of her pictures back.
How should I approach this with my new boyfriend? Since it's such a new relationship, I don't want to bring this up in a way that makes me look controlling or jealous. I'm scared of being cheated on again and with the same girl. I think she did it on purpose before. What should I do?
Any advice? TL;DR My ex boyfriend cheated on me with my friend and we broke up. I've just seen that my current boyfriend has followed the same friend and is liking her pictures. How should I bring this up to him without looking crazy?
What Girls & Guys Said
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2Opinion
People can be resentful, unhinged, spiteful, and a plethora of other emotions when they feel slighted or have a hard time taking responsibility for their actions. I don't know what connection your ex has to your friend (it’s a small world), or if she’s just trying to work her way into his life in an effort to create karma for you. Why would she do that? It could be hurt feelings that you cut her off and as I said before, resentment, who knows and honestly who cares.
Whatever the case may be, all you can do is pray for her to find peace since she’s clearly an unhappy woman, and have trust in not only your man’s loyalty but the solidarity of your relationship. Because if he is a cheater, it’s going to happen no matter what, whether it’s with her or someone else, you can’t stop it.
So while I could advise you ask him to delete her or whatever, the thing is I’m sure this is her acting out of spite, in hopes that she’ll get a reaction out of you. By not saying anything to him and leaving everything as is, to me it is an outward message, that not only are you not phased but she will never hear from you again no matter what. Even if she were disgusting enough to pursue your man, if she can pull him the let her have him! What’s meant for you can never be stolen, and you must have confidence in that at the very least.
**then let
Be honest and open about the past with that girl and see how he responds.
Tell your current boyfriend about it and that you trust him but don't want him to associate with trash like your ex "friend". If he cares, he won't want to follow or talk with her.