My boyfriend cheated on me with a guy. What should I do?

Question

I've been dating my boyfriend for two years, and we were really happy together. Recently, I found out that he had sex with another guy twice. He says he just wanted to try and realized after the second time that he truly wanted to be with me. I can't help but feel like the man i knew was a lie and that two years together with him was not the real him. I’m struggling to figure out what to do next. What should I do?

Finchie40 · Accepted Answer

Dump him , if he truly valued you and respected you and loved you , he wouldn’t of cheated on you period , It doesn’t matter who he fucked or
Got fucked by , he still cheated on you , he broke the bond you both agreed upon , by going behind your back , don’t fall for his nonsense , His true colors were to betray you , he has no dignity or respect for you , he just likes the convenience of you. Do yourself a favor and move on from his cheating ass , if you forgive him and take him back , he will do it again, because you basically gave him a get out of jail free card. Don’t fall for that nonsense , You deserve better than that shit , by you breaking up with him will hopefully teach him to be more respect and loyal to someone else , if not? Oh well, it’s no longer your problem. He dug his own grave by being selfish POS person , so don’t give him a hand , give him a good bye , you deserve way better than that shit. I made the mistake of allowing a cheating partner back into my life thinking things might get better , I was so wrong and sadly I found out the hard way , I no longer take cheating girl back into my life , you will honestly not be happy if you do , you might be able to forgive him? But you will never forget. Find yourself a better man

Lliam · Accepted Answer

There wouldn't be any question in my mind. If my partner cheated, she would be history. No second chances. A cheater is a sneaky, back stabbing liar who only cares about their personal appetites. They are no better than a thief.

Plus, in your case there is the ick factor. Could you really be with a guy who is turned on by guys and likes cock?
I don't believe him at all when he said "he just wanted to try and realized after the second time that he truly wanted to be with me."
First, he wanted to "try" [it], so he went behind your back regardless of the consequences. That shows lack of morals and zero concern for you. He thought he could get away with it and is now trying to talk his way out of it.
Second, I'll bet he has "tried" more than twice. You just caught him and he's making up a story.
Third, after sucking and fucking and getting fucked by a dude, NOW he truly wants to be with you? Give me a break. Again, he's a liar.

Leave that piece of shit. No discussion. And don't hesitate to tell others what he did. Hopefully it will cause him distress.

DishLady · Accepted Answer

You don’t know what to do, sweetie?

(1) he cheated on you

(2) he’s discovering his gay side

What do you think he should do? Maybe sit around long enough to collect all his STDs? Or perhaps go find a straight guy if that’s what you want.

laurieluvsit · Accepted Answer

He is compelled, off and on, to explore his bi-side. This will change about as easily as changing the stripes on a zebra But if you like zebras, stick with him.

hannah · Answer

Firstly, I'm really sorry you're dealing with this. Cheating, regardless of whether it’s with a guy or girl, breaks trust, and that’s hard to recover from. What’s important is figuring out what you want. Do you see a future with him after this, or does this feel like a dealbreaker for you? The fact that he experimented and then came back saying he’s committed to you is... complicated. It might be that he was confused about his own sexuality, but that doesn’t make what he did any less painful for you. You deserve to feel secure in a relationship and know your partner is fully committed.

It's okay to take some time to process everything. You don’t have to make a decision right away. Think about what trust means to you and if it can be rebuilt. Some people work through this with their partner, but others realize it’s time to move on. You’re not wrong for feeling like your relationship might’ve been different than you thought, but only you can decide what’s best for your heart and your future.

aquaman · Answer

It’s totally understandable to feel betrayed and confused. Cheating, no matter who it’s with, breaks trust, and it’s hard to just move past that. He says he wanted to “try” and now knows he wants to be with you, but that doesn’t erase the hurt. You need to figure out if you can ever trust him again or if this feels like a dealbreaker. It’s okay to take time to process everything. Ultimately, your happiness and peace should come first. You deserve someone who's fully committed to you and only you.

josie · Answer

I think you should duöp him immediately.

MisterWack · Answer

“ I can't help but feel like the man i knew was a lie and that two years together with him was not the real him. I’m struggling to figure out what to do next. What should I do?”

Well, sit him down calmly & politely then say that you need to have a talk with him. Ask him if he is straight, bisexual, or gay then explain to him that you saw him cheat on you with a guy and you want to know the details… Tell him you want to know if he would be better off with him than with you, if ending the relationship would help him, whatever his decision you’ll respect it and remember him for the nice man he is. Tell him that you need to take a break from the relationship to gather your thoughts, say you aren’t upset at his orientation / sexual identity say you are upset he couldn’t be upfront and honest / you had to find out like this.

Take a break and reflect on everything, give him space to come up with a decision then go on from there.

Drewtate · Answer

He's gay and you are just a cover.

Carl: How you gonna ask me a question like that?

Jo: How did you marry a woman, and then turn around and let a man bend you over?

Carl: Ain't nobody bending me over.

Jo: So you doing the bending? Is that what it is?

Carl: I don't wake up holding another man, walking down the street holding some man's hands. That's gay, okay? That ain't me.

Jo: You're saying a lie, Carl. You're saying a lot without saying nothing at all.

Carl: I'm saying that your husband is a man, Jo. I'm a man every day of the week. I'm a man. I'm just a man who enjoys having sex with another man, Jo. No attachments, no fucking... No relationship, just sex, you know? That's what I'm saying, and I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Jo, for my truth.

Anonymous · Answer

It probably is a lie and even if it is true it’s still grounds to leave his ass FAR behind before you get a nasty disease. I’m not being homophobic but STD’s (really nasty ones) spread through homosexuals like wildfire.

Many people on the dark personality trait spectrum pretend to be someone they’re not. They go to great lengths to pretend to be someone else for whatever reason it is. Until one day they take it away from you.

Many people who are narcissistic at best, psychopathic at worst. They genuinely believe if you’re too stupid to find out, dumb enough to believe their bullshit, etc. You deserve it. You’re smart enough to figure out that he’s a liar. Cheaters are most of the time not very good people.

blueonblack22 · Answer

That is so twisted. And there is pressure on you to be more forgiving because it’s the “progressive” thing to vs. dropping him like a hot potato if cheated on you with another woman.

I don’t know how old your boyfriend is but if he is “experimenting” with other men when he’s 40+ then there is a much deeper psychological issue here beyond lust and temptation.

itsannalee · Answer

Cheat = Leave!!! As simple as that. It’s not about he cheat on you with a guy or girl, cheat is cheat. He cheat it means he doesn’t respect you.

Anonymous · Answer

But was he really happy w you? You said you two were happy, but sometimes people cheat because they’re not happy. So you’d need to find out for sure. Two, would your opinion on this change, be different if it was a female he cheated w rather than a dude? Does it give you an “ick” factor more so that it was a a dude? Or it doesn’t matter regardless he cheated and it’s all the same?

scott04sa22 · Answer

Damn that sucks, I had a woman who went full lesbian on me and I also had another woman who married 2 gay to now bi guys but act gay. My 2 ex-girlfriends are now engaged now and soon to be married. Dating sucks. What I did is i completely stop looking and move on and enjoy life 😎.

avery58 · Answer

That has to be the lamest excuse in the book, lots of cheaters will tell the person that they cheated to decide how they they really felt for them and now that they cheated they love them more than ever. Are you really going to fall for that?

Sunnysunny123 · Answer

He could've discover on free time not when he is in a relationship. He was unsure and just knowing that is enaugh to break up i won't even mention the cheating part. Break up with him and test yourself!

Breanna_nonbinary · Answer

To men sex is sex. Sex isn’t love. Just because he has sex with someone (boy or girl) doesn’t mean that he loves them. Sex is a biological need. If he was looking for love then yes definitely break up with him.

SvenTree · Answer

We're you already dating when he had sex with the other guy? Or was it something that happened before he met you?

If he was already dating you, then that's cheating; you should break up with him. If He had cheated with a woman, I would give you the same response.

Telekinetic-Potato · Answer

Nah fuck that. This is one double standard I'm fine with. I've seen this story before. It's going to be more sex and the city than modern family.

Red_Arrow · Answer

Maybe he read your profile - "I will find a rich boy to get married to and live happily ever after." -

FreyaRed · Answer

Wish him luck in his new relationship and run. Don't forget to make a HIV test in few weeks

Maybe_Maybe_not · Answer

Summary: Dump comments STDs comments Rince Repeat

TDDMS · Answer

Firstly, you should get tested for HIV and monkey pox. If you're man is cheating on you w/ another man, get tested. Those diseases are easily passed to women.

Anonymous · Answer

You know what to do. Look for a different rich boy to get out of working, unless the money is all that matters to you and the relationship is meaningless, which I suspect may be true.

Berethor · Answer

Not only that he a cheater, he is also gay, therefore unmasculine, you should leave him.

EmmaMary · Answer

In all honesty I think you already know the answer.

StudyingAuthor · Answer

Uhhh... This seems pretty obvious what you should do.

82lynx · Answer

Tell him to go get his sorry heinie relined with a furnace flue.

dougeats · Answer

either watch, join in, or move on. You may be surprised how fun it can be to join/watch though

LiamJHayden · Answer

You should do what works for you. If my partner cheats, I dump her.

MyBrainsInsaneReign · Answer

Your boyfriend cheated on you. Get a new boyfriend.

onedarkcloud · Answer

What else is he hiding? Time to say goodbye also get tested for HIV and all STDs

katiesmuff · Answer

You mean you haven't left yet!

Yannae · Answer

You break up. Cheating is cheating.

alice55 · Answer

Leave him, he most likely have std...

gorydetails · Answer

dump the homo.

DextroShade · Answer

Leave him and get tested for HIV.

OtterMan68 · Answer

dump him and don't look back

NOTHINGEVERHAPPENS · Answer

Leave. This is sort of a no-brainer.

Shortkay4568 · Answer

Now was he taking it in the ass or the other guy?

DaddyDiablo · Answer

Cheat on him with a girl then

Staximus · Answer

Run for the hills

KittygosMeoWW · Answer

Bullshit lol he’s gay or bi

Vegasrunner · Answer

Lol, you know what to do

Crazzyyworld · Answer

Everybody cheats. What’s the big deal?

Anonymous · Answer

Get tested for monkeypox! Good luck!

Ms_Facesitter · Answer

Dump him.

Jmmmfi4 · Answer

GET TESTED FOR AIDS

HelpfulWoman · Answer

you dump him. duh.

jahaims · Answer

Move on obviously

Pterodon · Answer

He’s gay dump him

My boyfriend cheated on me with a guy. What should I do?

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