Why don’t men listen?

[Dream-er679]

My boyfriend listens to the important stuff, knows my birthday, my hobbies, etc. But sometimes it bugs me that he doesn’t listen to the small stuff. Like today he asked me what something was (won’t bore you with details) and so later on I told him and explained it to him. Then half an hour later he was like ‘what was that thing again?’ Ahhhhh. Why ask if you’re not going to listen?
Then tonight I walked into the kitchen and he’s reheating something on a plate when I’ve told him multiple times to use a baking tray. Stuff like this drives me f*cking crazy. Why do I open my mouth?

The reason I am so annoyed is because it’s exhausting repeating myself. Not only that but I feel I have to talk fast before he interrupts me. He doesn’t do it to be malicious, he is just a passionate talker. But sometimes I find it exhausting talking because I’ll be talking, then he’ll interrupt so I have to repeat what I was just saying, then he’ll do it again and I have to repeat myself again. Like OMG. Then when I find out he wasn’t even properly listening today I was furious. Even more so because I was talking about something to do with my culture (we’re an international couple), so it felt like he didn‘t care and he was making a mockery of my country. Now don‘t get me wrong: would I rather him remember my birthday or this little piece of information about my culture? The birthday. But I‘m just getting so exhausted with repeating myself. Anyone else suffering with this? How do you deal with it? Do you ignore it or do you tell your partner that it p^sses you off?

[Ms_Facesitter]

Before I give my answer I must say that this question should probably be directed towards the guys. They know best about the "why".

Second, yes it can be annoying at times. Mine actually works differently sometimes. He'll answer, but much later. Like if I tell him something, he'll suddenly respond to it hours later. The little things. If he asks me to repeat, I don't really mind it because at least he asks about it. It means he's wants to work with you, despite that selective memory of his.

[JSkye]

I have memory issues myself (the precise details of which I won't bore you with), but I forget a lot of things.

I can't come down too harshly on this behavior because, if I did, I would be hypocritical.

However, I do know exactly what you are talking about. I have experienced it a lot in my life with various partners.

What I have found is that some people actively listen, whereas others are just waiting to jump in to respond. 🤷🏻‍♀️

[Samantha_Stevenson]

Funny how you didn't want to listen to men's opinions in this question LOLOL

[Nikki1989]

Most don't listen, and they are terrible at picking up on the obvious hints people put out there. They rarely recognize the bleeding obvious.

[Feetsoreh]

You are so cute babe!

[LadyKitty]

I have adhd and admittedly I have a problem when sometimes I interrupt others when speaking or I might forget something someone said unless I was paying attention. So perhaps bring it up that it bothers you if they do that.

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

You ever think that could just be weaponized incompetence?

[Crazzyyworld]

yes... that happens. I kicked my boy friend out because of that. He was not listening and when I said I wanted to be distanced he gets really groomy like he was going to kill me or something.

[Feetsoreh]

What is groomy? Sorry to hear that

[Crazzyyworld]

*gloomy

[Feetsoreh]

Oh no… I’m glad you got away.

[Feetsoreh]

Sounds like you’d be better off alone away from him completely.