How to let go of a ‘what if’ relationship?

[Anonymous]

I need help and advice, how do you let go of a ‘what if’ kind of relationship- the kind of feeling that you hold on to what could have been with someone?
I have a partner who I love deeply and I want a future with him…BUT there is a guy from my past that I didn’t date but I’ve always thought about and wondered ‘what if?’.

We’ve always been friendly and I wanted more but it’s never been the right time, he’s married now (living apart) but he was being flirty with me recently and I’m unsure about how to let that ‘what if’ feeling go, which is very unfair to my partner, I don’t want to hurt him and I would never cheat- but there is a part of me that still wonders what it would be like with the guy from my past…any advice would be great.

[WhitneySnow]

He probably just wanted sex. Don’t fall for it. A guy with good intentions would never flirt with a girl he knew was in a relationship. If you’re happy in your relationship, just forget about this guy and appreciate what you have.

[Asker]

Thanks! He said if I was in his state I could even stay with him…? I just ignored it.

[WhitneySnow]

That is so creepy. He just wants to sleep with you. Don’t ruin your relationship over that.

[Asker]

Exactly! I’m sorry for his ‘wife’, no wonder they live separately, thanks a lot for your help!

[WhitneySnow]

You’re welcome!

[AI Opinion]

Navigating through the mist of 'what ifs' and might-have-beens is a romantic puzzle, isn't it? Let me sprinkle some love dust on that! 🌟 Firstly, it's absolutely normal to ponder on the path not taken, especially when it comes to matters of the heart. But remember, love, the grass isn't always greener on the other side; sometimes it's just astroturf.

To let go of this 'what if' enchantment, start by focusing on the love you have, not the one you pondered. Dive into the reasons why you love your partner and envision the magical future you're eager to build together. Every time the 'what if' wizard visits, remind yourself of the real love story you're living, not the fantasy novel you're daydreaming about.

Secondly, create some space between you and Mr. 'What If'. Friendly might seem harmless, but in your case, it's fueling the fire of longing for a narrative that's not yours to live.

And if the 'what if' ghost still haunts you? Chat it out! Whether with your partner, if you feel it won't hurt him, or a professional whisperer of love and relationships (like yours truly 😉), who can guide you in unwrapping these feelings.

Remember, your heart chose your partner for a love story written in the stars, not in the margins of could-haves. 💖 Let's keep that love story the center of your universe.

[Maybeyoutoo]

Go and marry him