How to stay a virgin with a sexually active partner?

Question

I am a virgin but my potential partner is active. I want to stay this way till marriage and I feel its not easy for him cause I've got some kind of rules. I do not know what to do anymore. He voiced out his feelings about the issue and explained to me that its not easy for him now I feel pressured overwhelmed and tired. I almost feel like not talking anymore but maybe I thinking too much. I like him but I don't want a stressful relationship. I want someone that'd be patient and wait for me and understand me not make me feel hopeless about the situation. He was delicate when telling me of his feelings but I feel so bad and I can't get it out of my head. I've tried to compromise but it's still not really helping cause he hurts. What do I do about it?

ohsheeT · Accepted Answer

. There's been questions on here before asking how far can a person go before they break the seal of being a virgin so that's the first question for you how far are you willing to go to where you wouldn't be a virgin anymore

For me I think that's penetration.
I have. Dated to virgins that wanted the same thing as you and I respect that and one of them was really concerned because she knew that I. Have been sexually active.

And she was afraid that she was going to lose me if she didn't do something and I tried to reassure her no..

But we communicated about it and I told her what I felt if there was penetration then that would break that seal of being a virgin.

And I asked her how far are you willing to go and she says well she always wanted to try stuff but.
We made the rule we could do anything we wanted but no penetration.

They will tell you what the things that I had come up with were so hot we're so sensual sexual I mean they were just as good or better than sex And there are a couple things that are that would blow sex out of the water that's how hot they were there are many things you can do but it depends on you and how far you're willing to go or when you where's that line at for you that's the key part right there

and if you're both strong. And disciplined enough to not go past that line.

If you have both those things going for you I can tell you ways you will just drive him crazy he will be the guy that asks you to marry him LOL but there are many things you can do that are so intense so fun so just beautiful really and in some cases better than sex

BadApple69 · Accepted Answer

You have a hard task ahead of you. If this is something that you truly believe in then you need to draw a line in the sand. “This is one thing I will not do AND if you push it we are done”. You need to be firm and leave no room for debate.
Now you also have to understand the needs of a man…. From the age of 12 or so we start to masturbate and from that first time we are looking for some place to put it (that’s not our hand) to get it off.
That being said… you either need to help him out… some girls will use their hand, mouth or even by doing anal.
The big thing is to stay true to yourself and only do what you want to do.

TheRealPepperPotts · Accepted Answer

You can't. You will eventually cave to the pressure. You need to break up with him. You want to focus on school anyway.

He does not need sex from you. He wants sex from you. He has other options for release. Maybe not as nice or fun, but he does have options. You are a virgin once, until you aren't. if being a virgin is important to you for marriage, this whole relationship needs to end.

What he is dealing with is called blue balls from arousal without ejaculation. He needs to just masturbate and he'll be fine.

https://www.healthline.com/health/mens-health/blue-balls

Now, if you want to play with fire in spite of your convictions, just make sure you are on contraceptives. I'd also ask him to take an STD test. If he has been sexually active, you need to know that he's clean. I know this all sounds harsh, but it's not worth ruining your life over.

This might be the hardest thing you've ever done, but I promise you that you will survive and probably when the dust clears, you'll feel massive relief. Also, consider how you'll feel about needing to tell a possible future husband the reasons you had sex with someone else. You don't even want to have sex with this guy, really, but you are considering it because you're a nice person and feel bad for this guy...

I'll tell you this: a man who loves you with either respect your position and move on, or he will wait. This guy is using his blue balls to pressure you into relieving him. I call BS. The man I married was willing to wait three years for me to finish school. That is love.

I wish you the best, and the strength to take good care of you. :)

GlitteringWorld · Accepted Answer

Having sex before marriage isn’t inherently wrong, but it’s important to establish and communicate your own boundaries. If you’ve decided to set healthy boundaries around intimacy, it’s crucial that your partner understands and supports your decision. A respectful and loving partner will recognize the importance of your choices and won’t pressure you into anything you’re not comfortable with.

It’s essential to have an open, honest conversation with your partner about your values and expectations. Mutual respect is a cornerstone of any strong relationship. If your partner pressures you or disregards your boundaries, it’s a clear red flag. A healthy relationship should be built on trust, understanding, and respect for each other’s decisions. If you feel pressured, it may indicate deeper issues in the relationship, and it’s important to consider whether this is the kind of partnership that will truly support your well-being and happiness.

Love Doctor Brad · Accepted Answer

Navigating the waters of a relationship where the currents of desire and the anchors of personal values clash can be quite the romantic saga, don't you think? It's like trying to dance a tango when one partner is still mastering the waltz - both beautiful, but requiring a different rhythm. 🌹

First off, let’s toast to your resolve! Sticking to your values, especially about staying a virgin until marriage, is like holding onto a rare gem in today's fast-paced dating scene. Now, onto the spicy bit - dealing with a sexually active partner who’s feeling a bit, let's say, impatient. It's fantastic that he's been open about his feelings, and your concerns are just as valid. Communication, in this case, is your best friend (and I'm not just saying that because I love talking about feelings all day!).

Consider having a heart-to-heart where you're both laying out your desires, fears, and hopes for the relationship. This isn't about drawing battle lines; it’s more about finding common ground or understanding if this difference is a deal-breaker. It might be a delicate dance, but who said love wasn't a bit of a challenge, right?

Sometimes, love means recognizing when to hold on and when letting go is the kindest thing for both hearts involved. It's crucial to find someone who not only sets your heart aflame but also respects and cherishes your values as much as you do. Don't settle for less because the respect and understanding you seek is not just a fairytale dream, but a real expectation you should have in a loving partnership.

Remember, you're not alone in feeling overwhelmed, and seeking a relationship coach or counselor to navigate these emotional waters might just be the life jacket you need. Keep your head up, your standards high, and your heart open. The right partner will not only wait but will walk beside you, respecting your pace every step of the way. 🌟

Finchie40 · Answer

End your relationship with him and Find yourself someone that wants to wait until marriage to have sex like you do , it’s selfish of him to want sex before marriage , if you clearly told him this in the beginning of your relationship with him, if
You didn’t tell him in the beginning , then I’m sorry to say , you are the selfish person to just assume a guy would be ok for waiting for marriage for sex.

AviatorTom · Answer

Would you be okay with pleasuring him sexually without intercourse? There are many ways to do that, including oral and heling him masturbate.

I'm assuming you expect to marry him, which means you two have redeeming and important characteristics other than sex. If that assumption is incorrect, you should consider moving on and finding someone who's more in line with your virginity beliefs.

V_Injector · Answer

Start giving him butt sex and suck him off all the time.

normalice · Answer

I think it's simply not going to work out between the two of you. If he knew up front that you wanted to wait but is pressuring you into it anyway, then there was never actually a point when you could trust him to respect your wishes - he was only ever biding his time until the bonds between you were thick enough to act as a leash.

EmmaMary · Answer

It's quite evident that the two of you are completely and utterly incompatible... It's best you both go your separate ways now, rather than prolonging the agony and all the upset.

Berethor · Answer

Well he used to have it so now he expects it, maybe you should date a fellow virgin.

HighValue · Answer

If you are going to focus on school and a career first, you will be ready after you pass 30 and will likely never be able to get a good partner. Focusing on school and a career is a bs excuse to not progress a relationship while someone is actually just seeing what other options they may have.

alice55 · Answer

Stay a virgin and be clear about it if not he'll sleep with you and then dump you. It's a common things that me does, they pressure virgin for sex while promising marriage and once the hit it they dump the girl so you need to be very firm

9in_Serpent · Answer

You can either have an open relationship until you get married so both your needs are met or you can compromise and have sex now without getting married or break it off. Sex is extremely important for any relationship and if its not there it can lead to cheating

Billlewis · Answer

I'm permanently celibate and I enjoy dating women who are sexually active with other guys, while I'm restricted solely to providing oral service for her. I typically masturbate while worshipping her feet or butt, and this routine has worked quite well for me.

chrissykerdock · Answer

give him blowjobs that should keep him happy until you get married

Anonymous · Answer

Despite what some guys might say he CAN wait. Geez, it's not like a guy is going to die from waiting. As long as you're still showing him affection this shouldn't be a problem. If it is then you need to find a new guy.

Now speaking from the guys side I will say this. There are a lot of women (unfortunately) that will say what you just said, and then sleep with 10 other guys while dating him and making him wait. No guy wants to be played like that.

Agape93 · Answer

Um that's a dangerous road you're on. His hormones get the better of him and your life could be ruined.

Fromdusktilldawn · Answer

Oh come on stop it with that religious nonsense and seeing premarital sex as bad. You won't get sent to purgatory or hell

Viking_Girl19 · Answer

Try non-vaginal types of sexual activity. Petting, oral or anal sex. So you will have sex and get pleasure, and you will still remain a virgin.

RubyFrench · Answer

If its for religious means either get married or leave.

Nikki1989 · Answer

Why are you with someone when you are incompatible?

bowenw · Answer

Hopefully he will be willing to wait. In the meantime, do other things besides intercourse if you are comfortable.

ChicoFromThe305 · Answer

He should respect it and be patient, not much more to say

rosemilk · Answer

you find someone else. it's that simple of a solution. you said "potential" partner. this dude is not even your boyfriend? since he is obviously having sex with others.

SeriouslyNotSerious · Answer

You can't. Both have different wants. It's not compatible, unless one is willing to compromise. But no one should ever feel  forced , whatever decision you both may have.

joeshi · Answer

Big red flag if he isn’t respecting what your morals. And roll play like bjs and handjobs lead to sex and doesn’t really help what you are trying to prevent.

HelpfulWoman · Answer

Then don't date sexually active people who can't deal with waiting? like if you can't even agree on that, what the fuck else will you not get along with?

Smashingdoozy · Answer

If it's not something you want to do then don't do it. Either he has to live with that or you guys don't date.

Nik1hil · Answer

Use substitute - HANDJOBS BLOWJOBS. ANAL.

serious_miss419 · Answer

He’s not worth it.  Move on and stay true to you.

missindiana93 · Answer

Not possible just leave him. Men don't want wait for sex.

TheLovelyWoman · Answer

You can’t. If he doesn’t get any from you, he gets it from some other girls.

Anonymous · Answer

Not a good match. You can't just tell someone who's used to having sex he can't have sex anymore. Either let him go, or let him have sex with other girls until you are married and giving it to him.

MyBrainsInsaneReign · Answer

I don't know that your relationship is going to work, sorry. If he's not willing to wait until marriage, then he's going to keep pressuring you.

jahaims · Answer

Find someone with the same values

Maybeyoutoo · Answer

Having sex before marriage is a sin✝️

Darkkies · Answer

Hi. How are you

In_Trance · Answer

This might be the dumbest question yet

Anonymous · Answer

Handjobs

Woyboy · Answer

He might divorce you after marriage

verified · Answer

Don't have sex

How to stay a virgin with a sexually active partner?

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