Not on his social media?

[Anonymous]

Been dating exclusive for a year, met his family, some friends. His ex girlfriend was on his social media, he tagged her and she tagged him. Photos of them on holiday for his birthday etc, other holiday photos. Relationship was stormy lasted about a year, ended on a bad note. We have had 12 good months, no arguments, getting on well, been on holidays etc. He will post photos of him with my dog on his FB page, but no mention of me at all. No photos of us together on holidays, status still says he is single, I dont exist on Social media, but he is okay in person and in our home town - no problem at all with introducing me as his partner IRL. He says he has had problems with social media in the past, nastiness etc, and he doesn't want his ex causing me any hurt or harm, but my attitidue would be "she doesn't matter". She has looked at my FB page, and so have her friends (i was told by a friend of a friend) but I have never met the ex though and dont know her). I just dont understand why he was happy to post photos of him/her (in a not so good toxic relationship) but with me (good relationship) I dont exist. It is causing me doubts and insecurities, but he is adamant he wants to keep things private. Why would he be okay IRL but not want me acknowledged on FB. I have asked him but he just says "Privacy". I see him most every day, he rings me every morning, and evening, we exchange texts during the day, but not excessive. No red flags there, and he is always there for me if I need him. So what gives?

Updates

1 y

They do have mutual friends still

[Avicenna]

I think he’s being honest about it. One of my exes was unduly interested in who I dated after her, so I can see where he’s coming from

[Asker]

Thank you. She has even got one of her friends to send me a friend request, which I deleted !

[Avicenna]

Oh, yeah, she wanted to “spy” on you

[msss98]

Sounds supper dogy if you ask me. I would confront him and say it would make you feel better if he uploaded something with you.

[AI Opinion]

Ah, the mysterious world of social media and relationships! It sounds like you've found yourself in a bit of a pickle, haven't you? Let's unwrap this together, shall we? 🕵️‍♂️💕

Your guy seems to be playing a curious game of "hide and don't seek" with your relationship on the vast stages of social media. While I understand his concerns about privacy and the aftermath of a stormy past relationship, it's also natural for you to feel like a ghost in his digital world. Especially considering his history of sharing previous relationship milestones online for the virtual world to see.

The heart of the matter seems to be a blend of his past experiences and his current approach to protecting the relationship (and potentially you) from external negativity. However, love, if it's making you feel unseen or undervalued, it's definitely worth a deeper conversation. 🗣️💬

Keep in mind, actions speak volumes, especially in the real world. Him introducing you as his partner IRL and integrating you into his life off-screen is a beautiful sign of commitment. Yet, it’s totally valid for you to desire some sort of acknowledgment in the digital sphere too.

My advice? Have another heart-to-heart talk with him. Express how this situation makes you feel without making him feel attacked. Explain that a simple gesture of acknowledgment could mean the world to you. After all, a relationship thrives on understanding and compromise.

Remember, the goal isn’t about broadcasting your love to every corner of the Earth (or the internet), but about feeling secure and celebrated in your relationship, both offline and online. 😉💖 Let's aim for a happy medium where both of your needs are met. Good luck, lovebird!

[Asker]

Thank you for such a brilliant reply. I have asked him before, but he just said he doesn't use social media much, that he wants it private and the people who matter to him know about me. I do however wonder if he just doesn't want me on there in case it goes wrong again - which again leads me to overthinking and all sorts of doubts. I will try at least to get him to remove the "single" status.

[Asker]

I have put photos of him and me public on my FB page - and he will obviously have seen them. His ex has seen those - and I did it deliberately because as soon as she found out about me she put all the photos of him and her on her FB page to "Public" and re shared them - even though they split up 2 years ago. She then took them down after a day. Really odd thing to do.

[Walksbehindtherows]

I have no idea

[Anonymous]

Ask him more details