Relationships: If it doesn't work the first time, it won't the second, third, fourth time?

[Anonymous]

Do you think that if a relationship does not work out the first time that it will still fail the second, third, fourth, etc. time?

I have mixed feelings on this because I feel like if you're fighting early on in a relationship then that certainly won't bode well for the future and shows that there is a miscommunication somewhere. But then again, circumstances may change and time may pass so a second or third try may involve more mature people and less complicated situations for the individuals involved.

What do you think about relationships, if they don't work the first time, they won't the second, third, etc. time? Agree/disagree? Why?

[Anonymous]

The man I am with now has taught me that once the relationship has broken then the relationship is broken forever. So therefore whenever we had fights we never broke up, we just would keep talking about the issue until it got resolved. Therefore I don't know about the break up then have a second chance thing works because I never had that happen in my life.

If there is a miscommunication then there just needs to be talking it out. No relationship can be that perfect, that's because no person is perfect nor do two person see life exactly the same way as the other all the time. There's bound to be small arguments or disagreements in a relationship. At least that is how I see it. When two people argue, if they argue in a healthy way with no name calling and at the end of the argument they realize that the maiin goal is to stay together no matter what they will compromise or come to a conclusion that nothing will seperate them even if they don't see eye to eye.

Do relationships work the 2nd time? The answer to that is that I wouldn't break up with a person I loved, I would never let them go the first time.

do people have arguments that last in the future: YES OFCOURSE

[Twilight_Starstorm]

And THAT, is how a mature person *should* view relationships. If you're gonna break up with someone just because you're too immature to talk about it, then of course it won't work till you grow up. I too believe that if you care about the relationship, you will do whatever it takes to make it work and still be happy, not just toss it away like trash. I would also never break up with a person I loved; I would talk about the problem.

[tangiblestar]

I believe that you can have a relationship, break up, and get back together and be together forever. but if it doesn't work after that, it's not going to work. and the only reason getting back together after breaking up once can work is if the issues are worked out; if not then those same issues that caused the breakup before are going to keep resurfacing. and depending on the circumstances, once a couple breaks up, it may not ever be the same. so it depends on the people and the situation. but usually when people break up I suppose it's best to leave bad enough alone.

[udolipixie]

Do you think that if a relationship does not work out the first time that it will still fail the second, third, fourth, etc. time? Possibly

Why? If the people are the same and the problems that aren't environment/circumstance based are the same then yes it will continue to fail. If the people have matured/changed and the problems are resolved and won't reappear then there's a chance it won't fail in a repeat unless they are completely incompatible.

[TheGodEmperorLeto]

Well, if someone quits a relationship, then no they shouldn't bother trying again. But no one should get that easily into a relationship. Jumping from relationship to relationship is foolish. And one shouldn't jump so easily into a relationship. Friends first imo that leads to possibly more after one has learned enough about said person as well as one's own feelings of the person to determine if they are right for them.

So no, since I look at getting into a relationship like that and when I'm in a relationship I fully invest, if it ever ends (as in they end it, cause I don't quit, I'm happy to work out problems that come up) then there is NO second chance. The trust is gone. It doesn't matter what changes. There will never again be the same level of trust because that person has proven they are not willing to fully invest in a relationship like me. And even if they claim to change that, the trust is still gone. One chance, that's all anyone gets.

[TheGodEmperorLeto]

I will note, if it works out for other people, so be it. But for me? Pfft, trust is gone. It will never be the same level it needs to be for a serious relationship when it comes to me. So I won't bother with a second, third, or fourth time.

[Twilight_Starstorm]

+1 dude. I respect your views :P

I agree that the most effective way to get a healthy relationship is to start as friends. Because in a relationship, you should be friends first, then lovers second. Take away the friendship, and there is only lust. And everyone knows that won't work. Plus, you need to know what you're getting into - how will you know unless you *get to know them*? Lol. It could work out, or it could fail epically. And if you go in blind, expect problems eventually.

[TheGodEmperorLeto]

Hah thanks :P and ya I agree.

[MyNameIsJonas]

It depend's why you broke up and if you really care about the other person. Maturity can play a factor, but I think generally if you really care about someone there are certain bridges you would never break and lines you would never cross. If someone really demeans what you two share there is no way of fixing it. Like cheating or just treating someone very badly. If that make's any sense.

Third or fourth time? I think by the secound time you are either going to get it right or that person just isn't right for you. This hold's true for me. I can't speak for what everyone else find acceptable.

[BCRanger10]

My view is that if breaking up and getting back together is becoming a routine, then the relationship should not be pursued. Second time? Sure, I think it could work. Third time? You're pushing it. Anything beyond that . I think one of the biggest mistakes, if not THE biggest mistake people make in relationships is focusing on how much they "love" each other and not as much on compatibility. If this is the way they live, there are issues that they either don't want to address or have addressed but can't fix.

[Littletad]

The relationship working out the second time relies on how much you both learned while you were apart. If no one has matured enough to move past the differences or problems that caused you to move on the first time, then the problems or obstacles that were there are likely to still be there.

My belief is that people are rarely willing to change, or understand that concept. Which is why most relationships don't work the second, third, or however many times they try again.

[NMMan]

There's a chance that it may work out the second time around, but that's only if both people come back with a sense of what went wrong the first time out and approach things differently (more open with another, more understanding, and more of an effort to listen and relate to one another).

[want2helpout84]

...AND if the other wants to give it another try...

[NMMan]

Well, yeah it's understood that would also have to be part of the equation.

[Anonymous]

Once damage has been done in 'round one' both people can end 'the fight' and compose themselves. If they decide to have another go, innitiate round two, eventually memories of round one comes back into focus. If they're stupid enough to try the third round... they'll have even more unwanted, bitter, sh*tty memories from the previous two bouts. Once a door's been opened, you don't like whet's behind it, close the door and lock it, you know what's behind

[want2helpout84]

I for me, is only a ONE time around person, if it didn't work out before, what makes you think it's going to work out now? One or both ended the relationship, there was a reason and a good one.

like the saying you only go around life once, you will never see May 5, 1744 again, so...

things happens and people come into your lives maybe to change you for the better, but there are Farr too many people /fish in this sea worth going for to try to fix a salvaged accident scene.

[Aksel]

I disagree! It all depends on how you both match!

BUT.. it MAY be so if the fault is about YOU - then many times it can't succeed!

If the fault is not about you, perhaps it's just a bad luck if such thing happens!

[Yeahhbro]

No stop over thinking things woman...people can learn from the mistakes, relationships are not painted like in Disney movies, they have their obstacles as well.

[Corrupt_Others]

If they don't work the first time, they won't again. I learned this the hard way. :(

But I think over a long time, years, and both people have changed/matured, then it may work out better

[WeaponZero]

When relationships fail, you should chalk it up to two people not being compatible and move on. Why bother when you're not compatible?

[bel42]

Personally, I think that if a relationship doesn't work out the first time, it's best to just move on. If two people break up and decide to get back together , most likely the same issues will continue to resurface instead of being resolved.