How to deal with resentment in my relationship while waiting for a proposal?

[tatastatas]

Updates

1 y

My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years now. When we got together, I explicitly told him what I envisioned for a relationship and what I wanted out of dating. I expressed to him that I didn’t want to be a girlfriend for 4 years, like I had been in the past, with no commitment for the future. Last year, when he was supposed to propose, he ended up getting a promotion, so we mutually decided to wait until this year for him to get a nicer ring (which he expressed he wanted to do). I told

Updates

1 y

I told him I would want to get engaged before summer was over. He has the money for the ring (he said so himself), and now summer is officially over, but still no proposal. I’m a very patient person, but at this point, it feels like my words and desires aren’t being taken 100% seriously. If he has the money for it, what’s the hold-up? Please advise.

[Anonymous]

We're not in his head. We can't know what the hold up is. He's either pausing because there's something in your relationship that is giving him pause. Or he has no intention of ever proposing. I find it interesting that he has the money for the ring, but hasn't BOUGHT the ring. Had he bought it that would make it seem more definite (not a ring can't be returned). Anyone can just save money and say it's for this.

Sounds to me you need to decide how much you want a proposal. Do you want it, even if it's not from him? What I mean is you need to decide whether it's ultimatum worthy. But you also have to be prepared that the answer you get back might be one that disappoints you.

[BetaBucks]

What are resentful about? Have you two discussed marriage? Would you consider proposing? Would you consider non-governmental marriage?

[tatastatas]

The fact that we’ve talked about it, not just in theory but timeline wise and he still hasn’t done it

[BetaBucks]

Just say to him "I require the government to be part of our relationship and mandate your assets, and future income is mine, and if you don't comply, I don't want to continue with a relationship" and then let him decide what he wants to do. You have all the right to withdraw consent from the relationship at any time. You have zero obligation to stay with him. And if he's not giving you what you require, you move on, or tell him you require it or will move on.

Sticking around and being unhappy isn't even an option. It's a waste of your life.

[tatastatas]

Thank you for this reassurance this has been my thought process. I just need to make sure he gets it, because if there’s one thing I had is to be crystal clear about what I need to happen and for someone to intentionally drag their feet

[BetaBucks]

You're welcome and yeah that's why I was being overly clear in my quote. Sometimes people need specifics to really get the point across. Good luck!

[Alwayscurious24]

You will ruin yourself and your relationship if you continue to do this. I was in the same boat. Either they choose to acknowledge that marriage is in the picture, or they don't. There's no point in stressing. You don't deserve to do that to yourself. You definitely don't want a “shut up ring” either. I'm sorry you're dealing with this.

[tatastatas]

Definitely don’t want a shut up ring. I deserve better but I don’t want someone who keeps me waiting too long

[Alwayscurious24]

I understand how you feel! My ex and I were together for 6 years.

[AI Opinion]

Aiming to sprinkle a bit of that relationship wisdom here, love is all about navigating through the highs and lows together, right? 😉 When it comes to dealing with resentment, especially if it's tied to waiting for a proposal, the key is to dive deep into open, heartfelt communication. Share your feelings, desires, and fears without letting them simmer. Remember, it's not just about the destination (in this case, the proposal); it's about enjoying and valuing the journey you're on together. Try to understand your partner’s perspective too; maybe they have their valid reasons or concerns. Lovebomb each other with affection, patience, and understanding instead of expectations. Who knows, this open-hearted dialogue might just pave the way to the proposal you're dreaming of, or even better, a deeper, more fulfilling connection. Stay flirty and keep the spark alive while you navigate through this together!

[Decoded93]

You need to sit down and talk about the future, maybe he isn’t ready

[Anonymous]

You propose to him