Why do so many men think they are not enough while so many women think they deserve more?

Question

EzraIsShy76028 · Accepted Answer

Probably because in general it's a lot easier for women to find a partner than men.

Men by default are forced to approach women and take initiative or else they'll basically be single forever. Almost no woman wants a shy guy who can't even ask women out.

Meanwhile, women can just "lay back and relax" per se. For the most part they don't really have to do anything, the men will come to them.

So basically you have all these men asking the women out, while the women are not asking the men out. And since there are plenty of shy quiet guys with low self-esteem out there who don't approach women they remain single.

For an very unattractive woman she can struggle just as much as shy men as you probably know, but if a woman is at least average she will already have plenty of guys asking her out. Average is all it takes.

So in the end, you get these women who are very picky because so many guys are asking them out, meanwhile you also have these super lonely shy guys feeling sorry for themselves who would probably even "settle" for an unattractive woman since they're that lonely. Because they view themselves as not good enough for even an average women because their opinion of themselves is so low that even a average woman is way too good for him and way above his league.

Saramad_Hill · Accepted Answer

Well, everyone deserves more, ultimately. Plenty of people have been beaten down by society, some even internalize it.

I personally don't feel like I'm good enough right now, conversely I feel like anyone with an overinflated ego could use a reality check before they put others down directly or indirectly. It's fine to feel good about yourself but in moderation of course.

Men have issues, women have issues, that's just the way it is. It'd be nice if everyone could communicate and cooperate but people seem to want to blame each other even if they've never even met before. I really think the world would advance when the gender war ends, and we hold everyone accountable for when they do others wrong. However, people as a whole seem to trend towards ignorance, so I say just surround yourself with people you like and try to avoid causing harm while you're at it. And if you have time, educate yourself on the issues of whatever gender you're opposite of. This goes for everyone.

And if you're so mired in your hatred against men/women, so immoveable you can no longer see the good in someone with a little bit of a different anatomy, the best thing you can do is to at least not take a dump in the swimming pool of society.

fonduegirl · Accepted Answer

Who are these men you speak of? Are you sure they're real?

Guys can live with five other roommates and still date. They may not shower regularly and still consider themselves hot. They wear the same boxer for a week or so and still feel they deserve sex. They don't have skincare routine other than soaping their face and they consider themselves well groomed and handsome.

What planet are you from? I'd like to visit sometime

jojouzumaki · Accepted Answer

I believe, men says it because they’re not ready or settled. Women might say they deserve more when their love is not reciprocated or appreciated.

Summeroflove · Answer

Well welcome to the world of narcissists not all women act like this and there’s men who think the exact same way.

Narcissists believe that they should be accepted for who they are and for their flaws. You should overlook the bad choices they have made in the past however you…. You must be perfect. Good looking. Make 6 figures. Be 6 foot tall or taller. Not be a player.

Meanwhile she’s out smashing guys who are every type of loser from players and fuck boys to deadbeats smoking pot on moms basement among everyone in between but wants to marry a good handsome stand up guy.

Same as men who sleep with trash women whores and degenerates just anyone who will open their legs. But wants a virgin whose all about God and family. Yeah right

DishLady · Answer

Lol. Guys and Girls who think they are "all that" are usually fronting so folks don't pick up on how fragile they are. The guys and girls who think they're not enough tend to work on themselves... they're stronger bc they're realistic and know they're not perfect. Be stronger.

BullShark · Answer

Blame social media, modern unrealistic dating standards and how one gender is celebrated while the other is actively told to "know their place" and why they are "inferior than the other". I'll be more than welcome to refute anyone in the comments in detail

236color · Answer

Because women keep telling us, long and loud how not enough we are. It comes directly from that "I deserve more" stuff. About 14% of the male population of the U. S. is 6ft or more, about the same amount make over 100k, but all these women think they deserve one of the guys that tick both boxes and is in their age range and is good looking enough for them. How many guys do you think fix in THAT ven diagram? So when they hit 32, and they're still single they panic. Well honey, the 5' 8" welder that makes 85k that you sneered at, is no longer willing to put up with your shit.

Lurix · Answer

It’s interesting, right? A lot of guys struggle with feeling like they’re not enough, often because of societal expectations to be providers, protectors, or just the “strong” one. They can end up feeling pressure to meet these standards, which can lead to insecurity.

On the flip side, many women are taught to value themselves highly and often hear messages about self-worth and not settling for less. This can create a mindset where they feel they deserve more, whether it’s in relationships, careers, or life in general.

Both perspectives come from different pressures and experiences. It's a tricky balance, and it can lead to misunderstandings in relationships when one side feels insecure while the other is aiming higher. Communication is key to navigating that stuff!

Lionman95 · Answer

Because the expectations have shifted. It´s no longer the case that guys can get a relationship with just being the bread winner and bring money. Women want more these days. Guys realise that when they start looking for a relationship. So they give up right away as the number of expectations seems to be too ideal to achieve.

Women on the other hand often get faced with guys that don´t do much and still expect a relationship. They want a guy that takes actions and pursues them but instead they get a guy that doesn´t iniate dates has no opinion or just wants to watch netflix and thinks that´s a good date idea while they actually wanted a guy that takes them out and wants to get to know them.

The cycle of dating has been broken.

snermcger · Answer

Men are criticized and isolated in their youth. They are not encouraged to be emotional or show their feelings, let alone communicate them. They are taught to be critical of themselves and be self sufficient. Women are often coddled and reassured in times of trouble. They are encouraged to talk about their wants, desires, feelings. Men are discouraged from emoting.
One is often given too little emotional support, one is often given too much.
Not always in every case, but for the most part.

_Highway · Answer

Honestly, I'll give you my perspective. I'm a shy guy, and honestly from what I've seen not often attractive to women, which makes it even more difficult to approach a woman. I'm a good looking guy, I have some history which affects my self-confidence. This just further adds to my feelings of inadequacy. Seeing a beautiful woman, brings in self-doubt, critical thinking, worrying. Will I be enough, is she even single, how the fuck do I make her smile. I know women want a guy that makes them laugh and feel safe, but how do you get out of your shell.

There, that's where my male inadequacy comes from LOL.

ManInChains · Answer

women's ridiculous dating standards and feminism cause men to think they're not good enough.

Women are always told that they're the prize when they aren't. They don't bring anything to the table. Relationships are meant to be a partnership and feminism has destroyed that by making relationships about power dynamics giving women empowerment even in relationships by making them think they deserve the world while they remain entitled little Shits

ManOnFire · Answer

Do not forget that women are taught they are the prize. Men are taught that they need to work for that prize. Women need men to feel insignificant and unworthy so that they can feel valuable.

In reality many men are good enough, while most women are overvalued and lack many of the attributes they either want in a man or weren't taught to have themselves.

Anonymous · Answer

hoeflation modern men work 10x harder than their grandfathers for women 10x worse than their grandmothers

Reymundo41 · Answer

The world keeps telling men that they're usually not necessary and are worthless. And the world keeps telling women they're the only thing that matters and should be worshipped. Neither are the case, men are highly necessary and women do not deserve/need to be worshipped. Don't let the world try to shape your views to such an extent. Everyone is baseline until a certain point.

DextroShade · Answer

Hoeflation is one factor.

The other factor is our fucked up society telling men they are toxic and worthless while telling women they are perfect no matter how fat, ugly, bitchy, or ran-through they are.

Nirmroth · Answer

Love this generalization on those men vs women posts. Its always many, most, etc never some or "I". And no source for the claim other than "In my experience" or the good old "Trust me bro".

Slim57 · Answer

Because men are putting bad women up on a pedestal whilst these same women could care less of them, their egoes are way over inflated due to the attention online they get from no backbone men, who mostly only want them for sex and not dating anwyay, so the attention literally means nothing.

ProbablyClueless · Answer

It's because of the messaging society gives to each gender.

Men are told that they need to change to accommodate the world. Women are told that they're perfect the way they are and that the world needs to change.

AgentG111 · Answer

Because those men have listened to to many Pansy ass humans and don't understand that Life's short live it up!

Those women keep reading all these magazines that make them think they are gods gift. Nope they were at one point, one woman and she ruined it for ALL of them because she was supposedly to good for what she was told about and had to have more.

msc545 · Answer

Men do not start out this way, but after being abused and humiliated and rejected by women multiple times (unless they have the "6-6-6" qualities), most men realize that they are indeed simply "not enough" for 80-90% of women and just basically give up. They then are further castigated, again by women, for being "incels".

After creating this problem, women ironically then whine that "there are no good men".

noohair · Answer

Men look at a relationship as 80% good and deal with the 20% bad. So they wonder if they are giving 80% to the woman. Women look at things differently, they think they can fix another person so they will not settle for anything else than perfect. Good luck finding a perfect human.

Unit1 · Answer

Supply & Demand. Also Tik Tok and instagram has convinced girls, that they are all special and queens and deserve nothing less than the top 10% of men.

Nikki1989 · Answer

Because some men are not enough and some women deserve more.  Obviously!

Anonymous · Answer

Because girls today at a young age, their parents don’t teach them properly, they have friends who are a bad influence that they will one day not talk to anymore, western media/books/magazines/social media/movies/tv shows, etc. conflate women’s minds and inflated egos in my opinion.

YevgenyMikhail · Answer

Here this will short of answer your question.

Anonymous · Answer

Because a lot of men get way way more than they deserve and many women get way way less than they deserve. Lots of men don’t do shit for their woman or family.

FunkyMonkee · Answer

Maybe we've had so much bad shit happen to us that we feel, maybe we DON'T deserve better because we never get it.

tzdc21 · Answer

Because society teaches women they deserve the world and teaches men that they're POS. It stems from that.

Telekinetic-Potato · Answer

It's probably a little different person to person.

SvenTree · Answer

I think it mainly because mainstream media is constantly filled messages like "men are trash", "men are useless", "men need to do better", "if you were a real man, ...", etc.

slatyb · Answer

This is not gender-specific. There are many insecure men and probably even more insecure women.

LiamJHayden · Answer

1. Sometimes it is true for one or both. 2. Sometimes the guys just lack self-esteem. 4. Sometimes the women are delusional.

Anonymous · Answer

Probably because the ones who think they aren't enough have not had anyone shoe them their worth. And enough people only reinforce that belief that they aren't enough.

The people that think they deserve more are generally narcissistic.

MrChinaski · Answer

So far as I can tell, this is the opposite of the truth on average.

Anonymous · Answer

A whole bunch of men are right--they AREN'T enough. A whole bunch of women are wrong--they DON'T deserve more.

Straight2thepoint · Answer

Society has you thinking like that. All you guys. You guys are great and worth it. You guys are doing your best. So go do more.

Jamie05rhs · Answer

The second part of your question answers the first part.

Testіcle · Answer

It depends on how big your testicles are.

DexWest · Answer

One word and 1 phenomenon can answer both. The issue is feminism+ online dating

Plinfut · Answer

Because that's the simple truth for many of both genders.

SisterlyTwins · Answer

Insecure guys! And Simps!

Anonymous · Answer

Because they have low self esteem and women have high self esteem

Sugar100 · Answer

I think im not enough for men 😓

TheSpaceGnome · Answer

Speak for yourself.

paledreams · Answer

Shy souls :P 😂

Chthou95 · Answer

Hoeflation.

Why do so many men think they are not enough while so many women think they deserve more?

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Why are men always told to be better, whereas women are always told they deserve better?

Why do so many men think they are not enough while so many women think they deserve more?

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Why are men always told to be better, whereas women are always told they deserve better?

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