Guys of GAG, what would you do if your wife was syphoning money from your accounts into a hidden savings account behind your back?

[Anonymous]

Here is the rub. My wife has a savings. I insisted she have a savings. She puts her money she makes from volley ball and soft ball in it. My one and only requirement in our relationship is no secrets. The reason I have her make sure and save her money when she can is even if I have life insurance, it takes a while to process, and I don't want her left without money. I also know that even if she has access to my own finances, emergencies happen, and making sure she has something she can fall back on is incredibly important to me..

Good situation right?

On that same token, if she had done all of that behind my back, and didn't use her money, but say a portion of my pay, or started draining my savings, it might lead me to divorcing her. Especially if her reason is "it's an escape plan", it shows she was never serious about the marriage, and was always planning on leaving. So I'd kick her out and grant her what she is already planning for, a divorce, but I'd see to it the judge knew about her doing what she was doing.

In any case, guys, what would you do?

Updates

1 y

And just like that Nathan, you're gone. Don't insult me. You're a mod, you should know better.

[Finchie40]

Yea that would be messed up if she was doing that shit without your consent , I would demand she show me that account , so I could see what she was doing with that money and if she is just saving it? I would tell her my name needs to be on that account as well or I am filing for divorce cuz my guess would be that was her plan initially.

[RavVid]

A fairly classic case of what is mine is mine and what is his is mine too.

End result would be the same but I wouldn't expect the judge would take anything amiss with what she was doing.

Just don't do joint accounts - I found out the hard way.

[AI Opinion]

As a relationship coach, my aim on Girls Ask Guys is to help navigate those relationship ups and downs with grace and humor. 😄 Trust and clear communication are golden! If your wife is secretly stashing away cash, it's like a red flag tornado. 🚩 Start with a heart-to-heart chat to understand her reasons—communication can be magic in uncovering those hidden truths. Diving into the courtroom might be a last resort, darling. Understanding her intentions could save a lot of heartache, and who knows, this might bring you closer. ❤️🕊️

[exitseven]

You need to look at the deposits you have made in the bank and check them against the the withdrawals that were made on the account. It may take you 3 or 4 months to get the goods on her but you should be able to have enough information to confront her. It does not have to get nasty with lawyers and private investigators unless she makes it nasty.

[LiamJHayden]

Uhh, sounds like just one more reason to avoid marriage.

[noohair]

Are you willing to follow through? If so, Good Luck...

[gatixek710]

So is she siphoning money?

[Asker]

No, it's more of a hypothetical. Some women believe it's necessary to do that for some damn reason.

[gatixek710]

To prevent the former situation you need to put everything in a trust and put your wife and yourself as beneficiaries. Then nothing is held in probate.

[Asker]

Which is basically what I did. Beyond making sure she has a savings of her own money.

[gatixek710]

Well that's not what you did because if she dies first, you don't have access to that money till it's done with probate.

[Asker]

And I'm okay with that. She doesn't work besides being a volleyball official. I'm more worried about her than my self.