How Do I Overcome the Fear of Being Seen as Just a ‘Baby Mother’ Instead of a Partner?

[Anonymous]

I feel like I need to stay in control of situations now that I’m older. I’m afraid of having kids because I don’t want to end up as just someone’s “baby mother” rather than a partner or a wife. Some people have even told me they see me that way, which hurt, especially when I already struggle with feeling worthy of more than just a casual relationship. Because of that fear, I’m leaning toward not having children and even considering getting my tubes tied.

[ohsheeT]

Hold on time. Out

This isn't how it's supposed to work

From what I understand as you're a young girl growing up you have dreams and fantasies of what tell me please

You dream what was your dream what was your fantasy how did you see yourself

Find a man fall in love have kids live happily ever after right what was your fantasy what was your dream because

That just kind of broke my heart when I read this
What do you mean you have to stay in control because you're getting older

And if you were to have a baby nobody's going to call you baby's mama because you don't have time for that crap because you would be raising that child making that child become the best it can possibly be and your life would just be going crazy because you have so many things to do so you would never ever be called just the baby's mama I don't even think people say that anymore do they

You know in life we get to choose who we want to be by the things we say and do

And as a man I've always wanted to listen to what a girl growing up dreams about the way she wants to be married who is she marries how they live their life

I love knowledge and when it comes to something like this it's pretty deep and I want to understand I want to feel that just as a man because it would give me more insight on how girls grow up to be women and what they want you know what I mean.

So kind of broke my heart because I had a vision of how it would be or what I would hear and this is the first time that I've heard something like this I always thought it would be way better than this I mean you have to have a fantasy right you have to add that dream before right I would love to know what it is

Just because what I read right there is you know you're going to get pregnant one day you know you're going to have a child you say nothing about the baby's father

You don't say anything dreams about your child who she's going to become

I'm an impact I feel people synergy and emotion words tell me a lot of things about a person and everything you just wrote there tells me a lot about you in one sense but those were just your words it's what you didn't say that intrigues me because it's not like what you think it's going to be it's not even close to what you think it's going to be

I would say this find yourself love yourself because one day you're going to have to show somebody what love is all about and you have to show it the best possible way you can and it has to be real and has to be true because in that moment you're teaching that person how to love and how to be loved you want them to feel that like nothing ever before you want them to believe in themselves you want them to love themselves and love you don't just give up on something that is meant to be you have to be the best you can be and that's not the moment you have that child it starts now so that child gets brain power anyway I would love to know what your dreams were as a little girl.. I mean from this moment on your life is your choice you become and make it the exact way that you want it you can either have confidence and go get it or you can just let it happen and just go with the flow are you can be the flow

[Finchie40]

Find yourself someone that loves you for you that treats you with kindness and respect the same way you should do for them Relationships aren’t hard , selfish people make them hard , so find yourself someone that chooses you the same way you choose them , Just be honest and open about what you are seeking and what you are looking for

[HelpfulWoman]

honestly, this is a clear sign to not have kids.
I constantly struggle with that, and I didn't even have that as a fear before kids.

[AI Opinion]

Hey there, lovebomb! 🥰 Fear can be a sticky little bugger when it comes to our romantic dreams. But remember, you're a whole, incredible person on your own—nobody can define you except you! Rock your worthiness like the superstar you are. Communicate your desires openly in any relationship. And trust me, the right partner will see you as the amazing partner you are destined to be, not just as a "baby mother." Sending you loads of positive vibes! 🌟 Keep aiming for that epic love story you deserve. 💪💕

[Berethor]

Who would marry you if you would not have children? you need to change your mindset.

[RageBabe]

You big meanie!

[Jersey2]

Find a better class of men.