My mother-in-law especially disturbs me because she wants to carry my baby like hers. I am unsure if I am jealous or how she behaves is not normal. When she sleeps on my lap she takes her and wakes her up. After that, I am the one who should put her to sleep. My husband seems reluctant I am afraid to share it with him.
Your feelings are valid, but I would still suggest having an open and transparent communication with your husband. Whether or not he takes his mother’s side, it should be addressed and together find a common ground. If your husband ignores your concerns and totally stands with his mother, then you have the right to gently and politely telling her off. You can in a positive tone say something along the lines that you respect their upbringing methods, but you want to do it your way. If they do get upset, let them be, because they will eventually come around.
Another user said, of course your husband will take his mother’s side, whilst that may be an assumption most people do, he just like many other husbands out there, may surprise you despite him being reluctant. My brother stood up and told my parents that they wanted to raise up the children according to their philosophy than how they were brought up. They were not happy about it but still do have good relationship.
You need to ventilate your feelings and emotions with your husband and make him feel included rather than it blows up later.
You're asking if a particular preference that might not even be openly expressed is normal... i. e. common.
If you thought this through before you typed it, you might realise that mind-reading is not a real thing, and nobody is capable of knowing what others opine on such a subject without being explicitly told (and even then it might not be honest). End consequence: nobody can know whether this is "normal" or not.
i. e. It is a stupid question.
Just do what you like or don't do what you don't like... and "normal" can eat a bag of dicks.
Of course your husband will take his mother's side. Afterall, he was her baby at one time and he turned out ok. That's what they will use as a defense.
If you don't want her taking over your precious time with YOUR baby then you will have to set some boundaries ot ground rules with her.
No more of her taking your baby from you unless you ask her to.
No more waking up the baby while it is sleeping.
You can hold the baby for a little while when it is awake only.
When I ask for the baby, you need to let go and give me the baby.
Let her know you still want her to spend time with the baby but only by adhering to the things I told you about (the ground rules).
If your husband gives you static about it I would tell him that you carried the baby for 9 months and couldn't wait to be a mom, so let me be the mom I want to be.
Your feelings are valid, there is limited time in a child’s developing years, and it’s natural that when one dominates that time, there is less space for others to share in that space. The trick is to phrase this intention in a pleasant and relatable way so they can see the validity of your viewpoint. Many celebrities like Mariah Carey will fire their Nanny’s every so often to ensure the child’s dearest bond is to the biological parents and not the paid caregiver. Say, you cherish the child’s bonding time, and want to play the dominant role in raising the child to ensure you get to enjoy their youth as often as possible, as their maternal example and dedicated caregiver.
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I don't blame you for not wanting her to have any contact with your new baby.
Pretty normal actually. Happens all the time from what I hear.
But in these situations you gotta activate "mama bear" mode.
Don't be afraid of being pushy but make it a point that it's your kid and you'll be the one making all the decisions no matter how trivial.
Trust me she will be frustrated but will also respect it and feel at ease knowing her grandkid has all he needs with his mother
Assuming your age showing is accurate there's a long time to come of this.
I was 46 and my wife was 45 when our son was born. Almost 6 years later and yikes we need help!
Yes, this is normal, especially if you do not like your mother in law.
You need to tell your husband to stand up for you and tell his mom to back off.
Set better boundaries. You were willing to have a baby with a man but can't communicate with him?
I think that's a shitty plan, but, hey, people in general, are shitty
Totally! I had similar concerns.
Normal because they want too much.
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