What's the biggest lesson your first relationship taught you?

Question

I would say for me is to never let your depression overshadow everything else going on around you especially your significant other.

DizzyDesii · Accepted Answer

Too much to name. Part of why i can move on sooo quickly from my other bfs, after my ex that is,  (no matter how long I dated each, no matter how much I loved each)  is because the first boyfriend did every bad thing a bad boyfriend could do. Life after him became all about having standards, setting boundaries, and revealing dealbreakers. Those were the lessons I learned.  After that first boyfriend, if a guy were to verbally abuse or physically threaten me, I was out. After that first boyfriend, if a guy were to force himself on me sexually, I’d fight back. After that first boyfriend, if a guy were to cheat on me, I left him. My first boyfriend did all of the above and more. And i felt weak taking him back whenever he claimed to change… only to be fooled again and get hurt even worse. The only good things about him was his goofy side, his territorial side that protected me from outside threats (despite him being the biggest one), and the few times I learned to enjoy the sex that I was often pressured into.  I feel that if i didn't date him and experience all these bad things, then I’d continue to stay in toxic relationships longer than I should. Because of him, I also dont believe people change. I see behavioral changes as temporary and faking to bait you back into forgiving someone… The guy I was with from 2023-24 was my biggest mistake since the first boyfriend in 2009-10.  This guy was bipolar and nearly as bad as the first. He was just better at masking it. I felt weak even staying and trying to make things better after exhibiting his bad behavior.  That second to last relationship came at me like a bullet in russian roulette because I had been dodging ever ending back up in something bad like my first relationship, and finally it had hit me once again. I honestly thought because most relationships after the first went good, that I couldn’t possibly end back up in a similar situation. I just pray I never meet another person like those two because their type is apparently my weakness and I always feel like stockholm syndrome is hitting me all over again.

katiesmuff · Accepted Answer

I learned that when your gut tells you something sounds a bit odd you are probably right and don't fall into the guilt mode and get bit in the ass by it. Mine was when the guy talked me into packing up and moving North to Illinois with him only to find out the reason was another chick he knew who had just relocated and they had worked together.

sawno · Accepted Answer

No matter how perfect or indestructible it is, no matter how good you are at overcoming every obstacle. No matter how perfect of a match you are and how dedicated you are. Things can randomly change and then she's gone.

AviatorTom · Accepted Answer

There is risk in any relationship, and it's okay to fear it, just don't make it the most important part.

Love Doctor Brad · Accepted Answer

Oh, the magic of first relationships! My biggest lesson was learning the art of communication. You know, it’s like mastering a new dance move; you stumble a bit, but eventually, you find your groove. Emotions can run haywire, and understanding how to talk through them is a game-changer. Never underestimate the power of a heartfelt chat! 💬✨

HawkPerception · Answer

To not do things just to appease my partner, but because I genuinely want to myself.

overlord337645 · Answer

people are minipulative and you dont really see a persons true character until you break up. While this is kind of ironic and not great upfront I will say when people get super upset we dont always tend to see it but when we stop seeing our girlfreind or boyfreind as an idol we see the flaws in them we did not see before one good time to take note is if you ever break up because thats when you both dislike eachother and dont see the other as perfect anymore.

Orion84 · Answer

How to recognize the signs of someone who's bipolar. Not a joke, she actually was, but didn't know it, and it caused a tremendous amount of strain on our relationship.

keegen · Answer

Well my first relationship taught me that i shouldn't trust people no matter how close they are to me, and that no matter how much you may love them their will always be someone that loves them more, and that will make them happier. I also learned that, just because you make them happy and you give them your all there will always be someone that can make them happier and that someone can give them more than you could ever.

nonchalantindividual · Answer

It is that a man is only loved in the relationship under the condition that he has a high paying job. A minimum wage earning man no matter how hardworking he is will never be respected by women, because they think of blue collared men as useless. Take it from a dude working in the constructions. 🤷‍♂️

Maybe_Maybe_not · Answer

The very very first one:  Ah, this is love. The very first one:  You know nothing. The first one:  There is beauty in this world.

Anonymous · Answer

To always tell her what she wants to hear regardless of how you feel. Women only want to know how you feel if it's acceptable to her. So it's always better to just pretend and give her the line she wants to hear than to tell the truth and deal with the repercussions. if you tell the truth you might be doing damage control on that for years.

NathanDavis · Answer

that I am definitely capable and worthy of both love... and a relationship

Zack-Bann · Answer

Making yourself miserable trying to please someone else won’t make them stay It’s better to be happy and let the other person be draw to that happiness

Still-alive · Answer

Stay away from LDR types. some stronger couples can do them but i can not. yeah it was LDR.

Gwendoline · Answer

That it was worth saving myself for him and that marrying the right man is better than waiting until 30 and deny myself all of the this.

NewWaves · Answer

Don't let your low esteem and desire for acceptance with particular people ruin your relationship.

MemeSupreme · Answer

speak up and have boundaries don't just do shit bc you don't wanna have conflict

ProbablyClueless · Answer

The friends/people surrounding the relationship are arguably more important to the health of the relationship than the people actually in it.

CharlieTheNerd2008 · Answer

Dont let your boyfriend best friend finger you for a game

D_Bone_Steak · Answer

That women lie and don't tell you everything, and will put you in bad situations.

Fireguy17 · Answer

as long as you move forward after each failed relationship you will keep finding a better partner until you find "the one".

AmeerX · Answer

Give your heart to God and never compromise on your health.

Nikki1989 · Answer

Men will usually just tell you what they think you want to hear.

Emmytexrex · Answer

The biggest lesson I learned from my first relationship then was communication   don't sweep things under the rug  But it built me to who I am now

SunnyRS · Answer

That no matter how much you love someone if they are not into the relationship as much as you are it won't work. re-state//background_color_rgba (0, 0, 0, 0), font_color_rgb (77, 77, 77), justifyLeft

Slim57 · Answer

Get out when someone starts acting distant and un-affectionate, weekend relationships can never work, don't ever go back to someone after a break up.

adventurous-1 · Answer

That the relationship isn't what you thought it was.

jahaims · Answer

I was mature prior to entering a relationship so I already had the tools needed. I'm married to my first girlfriend and I was her first boyfriend.

Alex-Snow · Answer

That I have a lot to learn about relationships and for that matter sex.

Finchie40 · Answer

Never fully trust a girl

Anonymous · Answer

boys want my body over everything else, kissing, talking, friendship, relationship

lorenzomichael · Answer

Never to introduce her to any of my friends and if I talk about my friends use alias names.

Crazzyyworld · Answer

Love is a imagination and hormones controls my body

KittygosMeoWW · Answer

To stop being a pussy when someone hurts me

dragoblack · Answer

Don't get attached to those you just vibe with, they may not be as they seem.

Ironco · Answer

All good things come to an end, one way or another.

ilover666 · Answer

Not being too giving in relationships, not giving more than I should of myself.

Jpie555 · Answer

Everything is great, until it isn’t… hello Covid, the raison d’etre for my divorce 😞

FunkyMonkee · Answer

Never fuck a girl who hasn't already had a baby because my dick is so big.

Anonymous · Answer

I never had a relationship, still waiting for the right girl.

Wallythewalrus2 · Answer

To stay a closet alcoholic.

Pupweb · Answer

Boundaries and self respect

exitseven · Answer

Tell her how you feel about her.

LiamJHayden · Answer

Nothing lasts forever.

WatchedPot · Answer

Love does not prevent all manner of sins.

noohair · Answer

Women are perplexing.

msc545 · Answer

Don't expect the next one to be this good.

Shihab_91 · Answer

Never trust a woman who broke up recently

Delia2005 · Answer

Communication is important.

robocop666 · Answer

Good looking women are not shy

slayxme · Answer

Have boundaries.

Jmmmfi4 · Answer

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