What did your last relationship teach you?

Question

Dechori1234 · Accepted Answer

I loved him with all my heart and he was my first, but things happened and I git to know that he had been lying about his personality all the time..(he told me he had never dated... had two ex... told me he doesn't do drugs.. saw a picture him smoking) but nevertheless he was like... he never told me those because I wouldn't like him then... which was true... but I fell in love with him that I ignored all the those things, because I've taught to never keep tracks of the wrongs... eventually he joined the navy and I had to keep missing him all the time... and it hurt me soo much... its so hard to love someone while he's away, since he's in the navy we get to talk once a week for 5 min or maybe not at all... so I decided to break up... but he's like..."you look beyond all my lies and flaws and you wanted to be with me... but the distance water you to break up with me ! Don't you think its wrong?" And tbh I miss him soo much... can someone tell me if I did the wrong thing or the right thing?

NatashaJ · Accepted Answer

1. If he respects you he wouldn't try to find ways to insult you for various things.
2. If he respected you he would distrust you and think you are a cheater and accuses you constant in sudden ways.
3. He wouldn't take advantage of you and pressure you into sex when you didn't want your first time with him.
4. If you realize you do not like the person anymore walk away don't waste your time if you hate the person
5. If he cared about you at all he wouldn't be trying to get with other girls while dating you or lying saying he loved you when he stop at that moment.
6. When you realize he crazy run away!

Marellia · Accepted Answer

* Stop wishing that partner will change
* Always listen to your gut
* Learn to love yourself first and never rely on just your partner
* Stop idolizing and comparing others to partner
After break up to find some activities to do, meet new people in case to distract your mind. First two weeks I just wanted to eat and sleep because I felt really depressed, then I forced myself to go out, to meet new people, focus on things I'm interested in it helped a lot, then maybe after a month I made a good guy friend and learned that being single isn't that bad :)

Blu3Ba3 · Accepted Answer

My last relationship taught me no matter how you know someone you never truly know someone.

OlderAndWiser · Accepted Answer

This is an EXCELLENT question. Too many people drift from one relationship to another, repeating the same mistakes, because they don't pause to contemplate and learn their lessons.

In my last relationship, I learned about the benefit of being accommodating to an SO who has an abnormal need, concern, worry, etc. and that doing so creates a sense that my SO should do the same for me. I also learned that love should not be an excuse to ignore warning signs.

akanetuk · Accepted Answer

Patience and tolerance

Paris13 · Answer

Long Distance Relationship, especially to a Husband I Still have Out in Egypt, is not Always... Best from the Rest. Good Going Here, dear, and Welcome to Gag Town. Happy Holidays. xx

miamigirl1970 · Answer

I wrote about it last night... hard lessons... https://www. girlsaskguys. com/relationships/a33759-the-thin-line-between-love-hate

UnknownReflection · Answer

I've had only one relationship and it's going toward the seventh year.
What it taught me is my believe always been correct.
If there be a true love. if you communicate well, if there be a the right balance of trust, respect and sacrifice. If you reach the right way of mutual communication, understanding and agreement. If you see and hear your partner. If you be honest, if you think right, do right and move right toward a relationship.
You won't have a single problem. There will be issues, ups and downs just like the waves of an ocean, but that's life. No matter in what condition,
fat, skinny, overweight, underweight, young, old, hairy, bald, tall, short, poor or rich always will stick to each other and will survive out of everything as "two".

CanadEh · Answer

If we disagree on fundamental things (like kids for example) it's best to end it/pass up on it.

Physical attraction matters.

Also that I need someone with a higher than average sex drive and is at least a little kinky. I've yet to meet a girl who's been able to keep up with me and as much as that sounds like bragging, it really isn't. My sex drive has caused a ton of problems in my relationships. I highly doubt I'll come across someone who can match me and is also compatible personality wise but I'd like someone who can at least come close. I'm willing to pass on the vast majority of my kinks/fetishes for that.

Oh and if I feel and heck, even know my partner is being abusive, I need to leave that relationship pronto. Doesn't matter how much I love her. That's a lot easier said than done though.

HOAAH · Answer

The most important thing I have learned in a relationship where you can't learn from the movies is this: don't keep a record of wrongs, improve yourself not them and forgive and trust in the Lord to bring you good and everything you need.

The thing is, in a relationship, you need to focus on yourself and bring yourself the kind of love you need. then you won't be so demanding on them to do it for you because they don't owe you anything. I get my self love from God, reading his words and trusting his words.

That's how my life words and why my relationship is lasting so long.

Oh and it also helps to know yourself more and know your partner more. Learn about their love language and their meyers briggs test scores.

above all. love is good, kind, and it benefits more of YOU than the other person some times is how I see it. You love them and you get the knowledge that you did good, it brings you peace. They don't have to accept love...

Anonymous · Answer

Nothing, apparently.
I accidentally broke up a couple who wanted to go poly by including me. It was an unhealthy relationship to begin woth and I think that rollercoaster with me was what killed it. I decided to get out but it was already too late.

Now Im on the fence of dating another two people who are intimate wuth each other. The situation is completely different and they've been poly for years, but this one too isn't perfect now and Im experiencing a bit too many deja vu's. But Im in love and hoping for the best.

sailorjupiter · Answer

if it meant to be, it meant to be

eventhough you've found the a good guy, he loves you, everything is great, you have a future plan for both of you etc, but if it's meant for you, you'll never together in the end, no matter what efforts you have. It's just not meant to be

vishna · Answer

That I shouldn't stay in toxic things for so long, meaning, what's wrong will never be right.
That some wrongs I shouldn't try to forgive.
That some signs are alarming and some deeds should be taken seriously and not brushed off.
That if a guy is a certain way, and I'm not-I shouldn't even enter a relationship with him.

BlueLights · Answer

Your question is great.

My previous relationships taught me a lot. The last one taught me that I should never just be in a relationship with a man when I don't really have any feelings for him. I did this mistake. I was thinking I don't want to break his heart and I will love him one day. I was very wrong. I was 'analyzing' my feelings all the time. It was crazy. Eventually, I had to tell him about my struggle and had to end the relationship.

Sayuri_san · Answer

That you can't make someone change who doesn't want to, and that trying is a waste of precious time. That you can only either accept things as they are or move on. To believe them the first time they show you who they are. That you have as much right to be happy and content as they do and to not put my own happiness second. But also when to back off and to be more respectful and appreciative of what they do for you.

MermaidLove · Answer

That changing someone will never work! They wanted me to "help" change them and their toxic habits but in reality he would say he want to change and wanted me to help but in his heart he didn't feel the need to change.

I also learned that a lot about myself, that I am valuable and deserve someone that wants me and wants to treat me the way I deserve to be treated. ☺

vonasaurus · Answer

it taught me that, if something isn't what you truly want/need, let it go.

we were friends with benefits. but it was very obvious that he had feelings, and i wasn't ready for that; we dated for about 2 years, but i knew i had no future with the guy and that i had healed enough from my past to move forward into a normal, healthy adult relationship. so i ended it, and met my soulmate only 2 months later.

Maypai · Answer

That getting over someone sucks. Also, don't fall for someone too quickly. If you've been talking to someone for less than a month, don't trick yourself into thinking you know them. Never rely on someone else to make you happy. Don't get into a relationship if you don't love yourself.

aficionado · Answer

I learnt that two emotionally damaged people shouldn't try to get into a relationship, because it won't last.

Balcazaurus · Answer

It wasn't a relationship per say, but we were "kind of seeing" (her coi-ass words) each other for about a year.

---I learned to not invest all my hope into one person, to be more open, to respect myself, and to not fall into a crush out of my lonliness so easily.

Nadzzz · Answer

my first and last rl taught me that we meet extraordinary people at the wrong time and we meet people that are extraordinary bcs we meet them at the right time
i met him in the wrong time i guess and it ended without fighting. others ended it for us. God bless them anyway they will pay for it one day

Anonymous · Answer

1. History can repeat itself. And not in a good way.
2. Trust your gut no matter what.
3. I never believed this but age can be quite a difference.
4. Do not rely on anyone else but yourself.
5. Do not rush ( but somehow I can't seem to learn this one!. ).
I learned a lot in one guy

Anonymous · Answer

That i will never be able to trust again. That if a guy tells you he loves you and wants to build a future together and then dumps you 5 hrs later... over text after being together for 2 years... yeah my walls are sky high now... ain't nobody getting in for a long time if ever 😔

Anonymous · Answer

That being single is better for me. It was getting expensive and demanding, so I went back to being single and just learn to be content on my own. The relationship only lasted for around 2 months and I don't think I would ever bother to try to be in any relationships in the future.

Taleygirl1998 · Answer

People can be manipulative, and pessimism and constantly putting yourself down is only going to weigh down a relationship. Being mentally abused and putting up with it should never be an option an option and someone who does. Doesn't love you

GirlsTonguesHOT · Answer

To not be a self-hating and self-loathing whiney little bitch who drags his problems unto his own girlfriend. To be strong in a relationship and not so emotionally needy. To realize that before anyone else can love you, you must first love yourself.

DesprateToBeCreative · Answer

That I wasn't quite fit for it. My preferences depend too much on whether they care for me or not, and affection, and I am far too honest with them. It taught me that sometimes, it's not good to trust them whole.

MickyMouse1231 · Answer

People aren't always good. Sometimes when someone says they love you, they don't really mean it. He taught me that there are people in the world that can and will manipulate and use you to make themselves feel better.

Kolya · Answer

that if i don't become colder/cynical the relationship will not last more than a year or so... being told i am too nice and caring is bad caused me a lot of confusion and later i became depressed because of it

SongBird3 · Answer

Never date anybody younger than you, never date in high school, never date a guy whos skinnier than you and can't life you (being the bigger spoon isn't fun), never go out with someone you just met.

Mil00 · Answer

Never get with someone that is still friends with their ex. When he says"oh, don't worry. We ended on mutual terms, she's with someone, and I'm happy with you." He's lying.

Magrant · Answer

my last relationship taught me, that you could me the most loyal person with the highest amount of respect and passion, but still break up because someone can't think Clearly and decide how to see you.

Anonymous · Answer

This wasn't a relationship, but I've learned a few things from the last person I dated that I felt close to.

1. Never ignore or overlook red flags, regardless of how cute someone is or how much they have in common. Not that I ignored red flags but more or less kept going for the person despite the red flags.
2. If someone tells you who they are, believe them.
3. If someone acts hot and cold consistently and is newly single, it most likely won't last.

JulieXO · Answer

That you should really get to know a person before you get into a relationship with them. "Love at first sight" doesn't last.

t-timee · Answer

sometimes you fall for the person they pretend to be not the person they really are. true colors will show up eventually

RedThread · Answer

Communication is important. If two people hold their problems with the relationship in, things won't end well. There needs to be transparency not fear.

Prof_Don · Answer

My last relationship taught me how much of a classical, leader-type of man that I am, and that I do prefer submissive women. My most recent ex was more of a submissive personality, and I enjoyed that.

Melluvsebdy · Answer

sometimes love isn't enough from the beginning it was already over. I really do think we're meant to be but it wasn't our time our dreams need to be done

FriendlyDrugDealer · Answer

It taught me that even I deserve love and acceptance and that we should extend our happiness with the world and other people. The greatest lesson I have ever learned.

Asianchick100 · Answer

That I need to be more selfless on my relationships. Also I tend to self sabotage my relationships. And less controlling; as in not always needing to be the one who makes plans

godfatherfan · Answer

- you can't trust women. - long distance relationships don't work. if you have a 45 min drive each way, without traffic, you can't just "drop by". Every time you want to get together it is a outing.

BeautifulPromisesx · Answer

Toxic people are a waste of time. If a man doesn't want you and puts no effort, walk the fuck away. K thanks.

Danny_dan92 · Answer

Not to stay with the girl after she does something wrong, not to date girls with daddy issues, not to date a girl that constantly compares me to her ex, not to date a girl that lies and not to date a girl that thinks she does nothing wrong.

truuhly · Answer

Taught me to be strong and take no shit from any man

springocelot · Answer

*love yourself first *trust your gut  *bad ideas can come in pretty packages

Jazz12345 · Answer

Don't always wait for the person to change their flaws that's tear the relationship down because nine times out of ten they won't change...

Anonymous · Answer

That sometimes you are in love or at least care more deeply than your partner. It's a waste of time if you aren't talking with your partner as often or you don't connect more deeply as the weeks go by.

Death_of_rats · Answer

never date a single mother. You will dedicate your life to her and her kids but she will waste no time in stabbing you in the back. More fool me i guess

anaspie · Answer

To never put myself on the back burner... If he isn't willing to help me become a better person than he's not the person for me.

Rahdle · Answer

That no matter how much you love someone, they can have no problem ripping your heart out. Love is blind

ThisDudeHere · Answer

I wouldn't really call it a relationship but 'it' did teach me to be more clear with your feelings.

Casstiel · Answer

After my last ex that I don't even remember her name, I said to myself " Just hangout with chicks but never go through too much, just be partners"

OrangeBoy · Answer

Don't waste time, if you like her then tell her tomorrow, if things are not ok, talk with her tomorrow. If you really care about her then don't be a cold pussy and make her feel that.

thatweirdgirl17 · Answer

if he cares about you, he'll show it instead of making up excuses.

Justcallmeashley · Answer

Don't give your all especially if the person doesn't want to give anything back in return

arineunha · Answer

don't be clingy. give space and give affection when he returns

danisaurus · Answer

Never take second place and let him choose his friends over me every time..  also to stop holding back and be more affection/emotional... sweet, etc.

snowangle · Answer

To address red flags as they come up and not ignore them.

NightRaven · Answer

You're worth more than you ever thought. You're the perfect guy, because the world stands by you.

Kapakani · Answer

To never ever ever ever allow myself to fall in love again 😔.

helpha · Answer

That having a real best friend as well as a strong romantic connection and passion is crucial

LittleSally · Answer

If you don't feel it - don't force it. Accept you're not meant to be.

elfears · Answer

That men can go as far as commiting to you just to get their end away untill they get borred of lying or find someone that they really love

Afro-dite9 · Answer

I'm better off taking my trip in life alone. #LonelyRoad

Puppylove94 · Answer

That you shouldn't try to be like someone you want to be with.

What did your last relationship teach you?

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