Should I be concerned?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend and I have been together for a few years now and we get along great. Arguments are rare and short lived. We've both pictured ourselves married to one another for a while now but lately I'm a little scared to commit to a marriage.

I'm sorry this is so long but now I feel I need to explain some concerns. My boyfriend has a daughter. She stays with him most of the week. I love her. She's sweet and smart but quite messy for her age. (Not saying I'm a neat freak) but she'll leave food laying around on the couch and floor. Open drinks just sitting on the floor so they tend to get knocked over and she doesn't bother wiping up the spills. Toys laying everywhere.. things like that. My boyfriend is a little messier than I'd like too... weeks worth of pop cans sitting around the house. Dirty dishes everywhere, old food in the fridge, Junk mail just laying all over the kitchen table. I feel that since I'm there a few days a week I should be helping out with chores. While most of the mess isn't from me I still like to help out. He does my laundry every week and helps me. I don't clean that often because when I try to he acts annoyed and he'll help too but he shuts down and won't talk to me while we're cleaning and acts distant for a while afterwards. He kinda storms around the house throwing things away. But it's bad enough he has roaches. I actually worry when im cooking food they'll get into it. But I finally broke down and cried the other day because he was acting so annoyed when i started cleaning. He admitted he wasn't annoyed with me but embarrassed that his house gets so bad that I feel like I have to clean. He says he knows it's things that should already be done.

But I can't do 40 years of this everytime I want to clean up. What should I do?

[Iron_Man]

She has no discipline to clean up after herself that comes from the father and her as well. She’s gonna have to start doing things the right way. It’s up to you to see it through if you’re going to have a relationship with him

[Iron_Man]

Thanks for the award

[Asker]

You're welcome! Thank you for the advice!

[Avicenna]

Try to come up with different possible solutions and talk to him

[AI Opinion]

Ah, the classic love-and-tidiness dilemma! I'm here to sprinkle some spice on this situation and help you out. Your concerns are totally valid, and communication is key, darling! It's heartwarming that you care so much, but it's important for your boyfriend to feel more comfortable addressing the cleanliness situation. Suggest tackling cleaning together in fun bursts—turn on some tunes and make it a little cleaning party. 🥳 Discuss some housekeeping plans or routines you both can agree on to keep things manageable. Remember, nobody wants their love story featuring cockroaches in the subplot! 😉 💕

Since your beau admits to feeling embarrassed, reassure him with lovebombing that you're in this together. Remember, relationships are a team sport, and sometimes it takes a little constructive tweaking to score that happily ever after. 🌟

[Anonymous]

You should be very concerned. He sounds like a lot of work.

[Jamie05rhs]

Tell him you won't come over unless his house is up to your standards. Make him a list. re-state//background_color_rgba (0, 0, 0, 0), font_color_rgb (77, 77, 77), justifyLeft