Would you end a relationship because of a lack of excitement? Would you openly admit "I broke up because I was bored"?

[CuriousMoonFox]

Yes and yes.

Yes and no.

No but if that was the reason I would admit it.

No and no.

[Finchie40]

Only if I addressed my concerns to her and nothing changes , meaning she isn’t willing to compromise with me for the better. Then more than likely I would end the relationship and be honest to her as to why I am , but if she is willing to compromise and realizes she wants the same as me , then I would stay with her and try to fix what is broken between us. Most long term relationships get boring after awhile but it doesn’t necessarily mean the relationship is over , the spark can just fade after time when the both of you get caught up in your ordinary lives with work and responsibilities that are interfering with the relationship, so the best thing to do is put that shit aside and reignite the passion between you both , by planning something for the both of you that you haven’t experienced yet , like a trip or a romantic evening fir 2 , fir the both of you and surprise her with it , don’t ask her if she wants to go, just say hey babe on so and so day , don’t make any plans , I set up something for the both of us and just tell her what she needs to do to prepare. Most females’ love when her man surprises her for a trip or a date without her knowing , she more than likely will be excited that you took lead , which most girls’ love a man that takes lead. And more than likely the passion will ignite again for each other

[paledreams]

Yes I would 😁😀 it's a shame dreams aren't reality yet maybe in my next life someday lol 😆 realm the nexus aka star trek generations

[_Andromeda_]

I feel like people don't do enough to try to keep their relationships exciting. I would do my part to make it more exciting and talk to my partner about the issue. If that didn't work or there was no effort from my partner to work on this together, then maybe.

[CuriousMoonFox]

So the point of a relationship is entertainment? Like a Netflix subscription? "I would do my part" means it's primarily the man's job to provide fun? No attacks, just questions.

[_Andromeda_]

Of course not.
I don't really understand your interpretation of my comment though. If a relationship becomes bland, chances are he is feeling it too. That's why I said I would talk to him about it. A relationship takes effort from both parties. Don't you think?
When I say I would do my part, what I mean is that I would work to put in the effort on my side. How is asking him to also put in effort mean it's primarily his responsibility?
(Also not an attack)

[CuriousMoonFox]

"if a relationshp becomes bland..." The way I see it relationships get "bland" sooner or later. It is inevitable. No matter how much effort you put into trying to make it fun or new, at some point there is nothing new, you have done it all. Do you think it is realistic for a multi decade relationship to have any level of excitement that is remotely comparable to one that is into its first year?

My point being that if boredom is a reason to break up then the basis for the relationship was entertainment. And if that is the case then no relationship should naturally last more than a couple of years. Which is just a small level up to teenagers switching partners every six months depending on the state of butterflies.

Just reminds me of a song: Love has been gone by J. J. Cale

[_Andromeda_]

Maybe after multiple decades it can get bland but I don't agree that it has to and I don't agree that excitement throughout a relationship has to mirror the first year honeymoon phase.

I think that's part of the problem -people resigning to that idea that its 'inevitable'. There is just no way you have done it all. There are constantly new chapters in your life, new things to try or different approaches to things you've already done like dates, sex, traveling, etc..
Far more often it seems that people just get comfortable, lazy and complacent and stop trying to keep their relationship alive.

I don't think you should just split because you are bored, I should have been more clear about that in my original response, but what I was/am trying to convey is that it's the lack of effort that would cause me to consider ending it, and even then I said 'maybe,' because there could be a multitude of factors that affect someone's motivations in a relationship.

[CuriousMoonFox]

I see. Thanks for clarifying.

When you say people get lazy the first thing that comes to my mind is not people but men. Because it is the most common complaint I hear from women i. e. that men stop putting in effort. And the most common reaction to that I hear from men is that this sounds like a second job. And that it feels like women are seeing men as some kind of work horse for their perennial need for emotional stimulation (in their words, drama). I have therefore started to compare womens' need for emotional stimulation to mens' constant need for sex. Not sure whether it's a good comparison but it kind of helps me to understand the importance of it to women 😄

[_Andromeda_]

That's interesting and kind of funny because when I think of lazy, one of the first things I think of is women letting themselves go and no longer trying to be sexually appealing to men.
I actually agree with your comparison and in my opinion, the understanding of those different needs is a great way to put in mutual effort.
I've been with the same man for almost 14 years. Part of the reason it works is because we both put in effort. He puts in effort to meet my emotional needs and when he can't, he communicates that to me - which is still a form of emotional connection. Similarly, I do my best to keep up with his sexual needs, and if I can't for whatever reason, he gets a BJ. 🤣

But yeah, I get it, there are women that place way too much of the relationship burden on the man fulfilling their emotional needs, and I feel for ya there. A good relationship involves compromise and empathy for the other person's needs and desires (in my opinion). There are times where one person's needs may be higher or lower, but it should never be continuously one sided.

[CuriousMoonFox]

Your man can count himself lucky. Thank you for your opinion. Deserved a raise.

[_Andromeda_]

Aw thanks. I hope he feels that way. I know I feel lucky to have him.
Thanks for chat and MHO!

[Flower7]

That is a valid reason. And much more respectable than someone cheating because they were bored.

[AI Opinion]

As a relationship coach, I'm here to help you navigate these emotional waters! Boredom in a relationship can be a red flag, but before you pack your bags, consider if there's potential to reignite the spark. Communication is key, love! If you've given it your all and still find yourself yawning, it's okay to move on. Being honest about breaking up due to boredom isn't selfish—it's staying true to yourself. Just remember, relationships are like your favorite books; sometimes you need a plot twist to keep things interesting! 📚💔

[Aimée__LJ]

Lack of excitement to me means lack of effort.

[CuriousMoonFox]

May I ask what was your longest relationship?

[Aimée__LJ]

7 years

[CuriousMoonFox]

If you were to have your first "serious" relationship talk with a guy in which you would list all the things important to you in a relationship, would you tell him that excitement is very important to you or that you couldn't stay in a relationship that is boring?

[Aimée__LJ]

I think it's one of those talk about when you get there situation. Communication is the main thing. If I'm not liking something then I will say so

[Anonymous]

No I left her because she voted for Trump. She keeps blowing up my phone even though I told her I found someone else.

[DrPepper12]

I can see that happening but would never tell her

[Ladsin2]

Boring is best.

[CuriousMoonFox]

Sadly I have only heard one woman this. And she was only 24 at that.

[BonzoInBitburg]

Why would you want to be with someone boring?

[CuriousMoonFox]

So you're saying relationships only get boring because the people involved are boring? Don't you think two "exciting" people can have a boring relationship because they fail to excite each other or have fun together?

[BonzoInBitburg]

Exciting people don't have boring relationships. Boring people have boring relationships. I'm very active and always doing something or going somewhere and if she can't keep up she's too boring for me