Could you be with someone who has cheated in the past if they were honest and up front about it?

Question

razelove · Accepted Answer

Not at all. I had cheating in one relationship, my first marriage. I found out about it once, and tried to forgive and what not, because I was young and stupid. Surprise surprise, she had cheated again. We got divorced, I slept with all of her friends, though that didn't make me feel any better.

In the end it was just the realization that I needed more self respect, and never needed anyone like that in my life again. Revenge doesn't help, taking them back doesn't help, treating them like a cancerous tumor, toxic waste, or more accurately an STD to treat is the way to go.

Get rid of them and take steps to make sure they never come back, free them to be with whoever else they're seeing. I say the same thing now that I have kids. Between divorce and "bucking up for them" I don't want them to see a miserable marriage where infidelity, hate, and discontent are the norm.

LifeHitMeandRan · Accepted Answer

NEVER! There are two old sayings that come to mind. "Show me your friends and I'll show you your future" and "Birds of a feather flock together". Who you choose to have in your circle is a reflection of what you will and won't tolerate.

Bella71205 · Accepted Answer

No, once a cheater always a cheater. They may be honest but they didn't have the respect or loyalty for their previous partner what makes you think they'll have it for you. Can people change? Yes, but if you tell a person that you love them and you care for them and then you turn around and stab them in the back and hurt them what's to say you're not going to do it again, you are not a loyal person and you give in to temptations. There will always be temptation and better out there but you have to have control over yourself enough to say I love this person, I'm with them and I'm not going to hurt them. If you want to be sleeping around with others break up with your partner, they deserve much better and you are not invested in that relationship.

abbyjgriffin98 · Accepted Answer

Honestly, I'd be very weary of it. I might see where things could go, but if I sense any red flags he is cheating on me, I'd probably break up. And before you get on me for being too paranoid, I've been cheated on before. And there were several red flags I was ignoring. Like how he didn't want me to post any pictures of us on Social Media unless it was private or how he didn't want me to meet his family and got mad at me when I asked why. Or how he was always working and when he wasn't, he didn't want to see me until after 10pm. I was a moron. But it was also my first relationship.

Summeroflove · Answer

Hard one but it would depend I know that nobody is perfect. I would say being honest is better then being dishonest about things like that. It would depend if they felt a level of genuine remorse for what they did.

But there are a lot of people who aren’t going to be honest about things like that those are the ones who will more than likely do it to you and probably more times then you can count.

Finchie40 · Answer

Absolutely. Honesty is a great thing

MicahRaine · Answer

I could, but they'd have to be willing to do quite a few things differently. E. G. sharing their location with me, picking up whenever I call (even if it's just to say "I'm in middle of a project sorry"), sharing their schedule, letting me see their phone, etc etc

NewWaves · Answer

That's a tough question. It depends on when it happened, what they've done since then, if they had a coming to Jesus moment, if they've learned and practiced faithfulness or restraint since then. A lot of things but that's all I can think of right now.
Ngl, trust would be CRAZY hard to gain but it's not like I'm perfect.

I don't trust people to begin with, so that would be really tough. People can change if they truly want to. I don't think I would want to put a genuine guy through the length of time of being kept at arm's length. So probably not me

hahahmm · Answer

People aren't honest about that or even why they cheated. They might not even know themselves. Do I think people can change, sure. Usually people don't but there are exceptions. I know because I've seen the same women act totally different with me based on how I approach life and act. But a lot of people want to think that how others act has nothing to do with themselves. That said, sure some people are just serial cheaters who are all about cheating. I would be way more likely to give someone with a VERY low body count a chance than someone who is in the record books / Only Fans

Screenwriter · Answer

Tough one. Honesty is one aspect here. Track record is another. I'd sure want to know why the cheating happened.

Some people are inveterate cheaters: serial cheaters. It's entertainment to them. It's an accomplishment. Others cheat to get out of relationships because they don't have the guts to talk to the person they're tired of and exit gracefully. Others cheat because they're bored.

There are many reasons people cheat. I don't know if I'd want to hear that a potential relationship person cheated on their last partner. That sounds like a red flag to me.

Purpleronnie · Answer

The very fact that they’re being upfront about it would mean I’d be more receptive to treating it appropriately as “ in the past “ and it certainly may carry some weight the fact they have vomunteered that information as opposed to be finding out and then they come clean about their version. like anything in that realm though it’s the circumstances and how true their communication of what “actually” happened is as there are often 3 sides to a story.

Cheating before doesn’t mean you will cheat again in the same way that never cheating doesn’t mean you never would.

Trust can take years to be built and removed in a heartbeat making it impossible or extremely difficult to be rebuilt. Unknowingly Opening that past trauma with people , by admitting to cheating , can be an immediate stop sign and as much as I think the past needs to remain there it’s not always a persons choice how it triggers them.

HighValue · Answer

No, and the majority of women have cheated, it is just so commonplace that many women think cheating behavior isn't cheating.

For example, posting provocative/revealing pictures online for attention IS cheating, but the majority of women do it. Letting other men buy them drinks/meals during girls night put (cheaters night out) IS cheating.

CaptainObivous · Answer

All depends on when and why they cheated. If they cheated because they were young and stupid and have since learned from their past mistake, I'd have no problem being with them. If it was recent cheating without a good excuse, it's a hard pass on dating them.

red-lipstick-girl · Answer

No, this person's character will not change, I do not accept it.

bolverk · Answer

No if she's done it once she'll do it again.

XXTruthfulOgrexx · Answer

absolutely NO. Its great they are up front about it, however all it shows me us they have behaviors that I feel aren't conductive to a stable relationship.

marshmallowcream · Answer

I don’t think so , it’d be very hard to trust them. I understand that people can change but I don’t understand cheating or see any reason to justify it.

Crimsyjo · Answer

I'll say yes. But obviously it will make you more cautious. But you can't judge everybody on past mistakes.

exitseven · Answer

When i was younger I would have said absolutely not buy now I do not see things as black and white.

WhitneySnow · Answer

Maybe. Depends if I believed they really changed.

AnonAndrew · Answer

It's not a problem for me if a girl has cheated.

KrakenAttackin · Answer

It would take a loooong time of "trust but verify" before she could be truly trusted.

worldscolide · Answer

No, that kind of betrayal is impossible to forgive for me.

Iron_Man · Answer

No because they already cheated and you know what they say once a cheater always a cheater

Circushowcowboy · Answer

Depends. How long ago was it and if o think they have truly grown since then

Graptemys79 · Answer

That would be tough. I like to think people can change, but...

katiesmuff · Answer

No I would not be with one!

DrPepper12 · Answer

people change.

Drumlin2001 · Answer

Maybe. Depends on circumstances

TonyMetal___86 · Answer

It's hard for me to ever trust a cheater!

Kelly6 · Answer

I will say yes too

spartan55 · Answer

Not a chance.

Luopio27 · Answer

Yes I could!

Dongie · Answer

Yep, second chances.

Abdulwahh · Answer

No lol

Could you be with someone who has cheated in the past if they were honest and up front about it?

Most Helpful Opinions

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said