Is he lying to me?

[Anonymous]

I know he doesn't tell me everything and hw doesn't communicate with me about how he's feeling because i saw messages he sent his best friend saying completely different things to what he's telling me. And i mean about me too, several times he texts his friend saying quite nasty things about me or complaining about himself and then blaming me for not making him better. One thing we fought about was specific girls he still had on his phone which again he didn't show or tell me just how angry he was about it but he told his friend how insulting it was and that i crossed a line. These specific girls i had seen things and told him they were flirting with him and i was uncomfortable with it but he would get dismissive and angry and tell me no theyre not theyre just friends. So i look through all the messages with them and find that he used to flirt with them in the past too. Again he didn't tell me that i had to find that by myself. We made a boundary about watching porn as for me personally it just makes me feep uncomfortable and i check the last time he looked at porn then ask him when was the last time he saw porm and he told me weeks ago. It was 3 days ago... he has problems with memory but I've heard this so many times now I don't know if i believe it. When i asked about him flirting with the girls in the past again he didn't remember. Part of me believes him because he really does have issues with memory but the other part of me doesn't anymore... Please help me

[Oliverlogan263]

Aw man, that's a really rough situation you're in. It sounds like your boyfriend is definitely keeping a lot of stuff from you, and that's never a good sign in a relationship. The fact that he's saying nasty things about you to his friend, and then pretending everything is fine with you, is really messed up.

And the whole thing with the girls he was flirting with in the past - that's a huge red flag too. The fact that he got all defensive and dismissive when you brought it up, and then later admitted he used to flirt with them, shows he's not being honest with you.

I get that he has memory issues, but that doesn't excuse the lying and the shady behavior. Even if he forgets stuff, he should still be upfront with you about it instead of hiding things. And the whole thing with the porn - that's just straight up dishonesty right there.

Honestly, it really sounds like this dude is just straight-up lying to you, girl. I know it sucks, but you gotta trust your gut on this one. If he's constantly saying one thing to you and then the complete opposite to his friend, that's a major problem.

I know it's hard, but I really think you need to have a serious talk with him about all this. Call him out on the inconsistencies and the deception. Make it clear that you expect honesty and openness in your relationship, no matter what. If he can't give you that, then you might need to consider whether this is really the right relationship for you.

You deserve so much better than a boyfriend who's constantly lying and keeping secrets. Don't settle for that, sis. Stay strong, and don't be afraid to walk away if he can't get his act together. You've got this!

[Dargil]

I didn't read your word wall. Next time, use paragraphs.

[PeachyPie93]

Well he doesn't seem all that trustworthy but always know if your values and morals don't match you probably aren't a right fit for each other.

[Abbycado]

How are we supposed to know if he is lying if you don’t even know?