Is it wrong to have feelings for someone who’s already in a relationship?

[Anonymous]

I like a girl who has a boyfriend. Her boyfriend and I are not close but we have met a few times. He is smart, kind and we have a really good connection. I thought this crush would pass but it hasn't. Their relationship doesn't seem perfect but it's not my job to judge. I don't want to get ahead of things or ruin anything but it's getting hard to hold on to these feelings. Should I tell him how I feel or should I just keep quiet?

[Finchie40]

It’s not wrong to have feelings for someone that’s already in a relationship, but understand the consequences of your actions for doing so. Don’t talk to her boyfriend about it , talk to her about it , if you really like this girl and you actually have chemistry and connection with her then say what you need to say to her , but if you do not have great chemistry and connection with her , then do not make yourself look like a fool. I have been with girls’ that left their boyfriends’ for me and husbands’ for me , but I only did this to girls’ that I knew I had great chemistry and connection with , that I knew her and I were basically best friends’ and had a lot in common , so if you don’t have that type of connection with her , do not make a move on her. it has to be more than just looks , So if you are just attracted to her but really have nothing in common with her , you are best to back off and move on. But if she is calling you on a regular basis and looks forward to seeing you and is happy when you are around , then you have a better chance of getting her to want you the same. All I am saying man is you better be prepared for the consequences of your actions. I lost a friend from it , because his girlfriend and I hit it off and we had a lot in common. She ended up leaving him for me. I basically told her how I felt about her and then I waited to see if she would come to me , so after you tell her your feelings , give her time to process what you told her. Do not rush her whatsoever, say what you need to say and leave it at that , be respectful and understand she is already in a relationship, if she wants to be with you , you will know if she does or doesn’t

[Tarifa]

Feelings aren't wrong and crushes happen. But as you say, it's not for you to judge how the relationship between this guy and girl is. I tend to think of anyone in a relationship as off limits.

If you do wish to act on it, talk to her and let her know. Be prepared though for the completely opposite reaction to the one you're hoping for.

[texascollegegirl]

Keep quiet with him. It gives no benefit to anyone. If there is a benefit to your disclosing to her, then maybe, but you don't know if she would be receptive to something on the side with you. You don't want to harm a good relationship and something on the side might not be a problem if he doesn't know. If he knows you're probably out of the picture. You might be out of the picture if she knows, but it depends. There is a chance of stealing some girlfriends but it all depends and you haven't said anything to show you have a chance of that. It's not your relationship so you don't owe him the bro code thing of not trying to get with her on the side or not trying to steal her. Girls aren't property. It's risky, and we might get offended if you try, but we might not if we like you more. As an ethical principle, you don't owe him treating us like property, and it's okay to try to get our affections any way you can either for casual sex or something more.

[Little_Bumblebee]

It's not wrong to have feelings for someone. You cannot control that.

You can control how you act on them.
Personally I find it wrong to make a move or try to ruin someone's relationship.

If you can't keep it to yourself, remove yourself from the situation, take a break or something else along those lines.

[AI Opinion]

Ah, the classic forbidden crush, a tale as old as time! 🌹 Having feelings is never wrong, but acting on them can be a tricky business. Since she's already committed, it's best to respect their relationship. Revealing your feelings might cause unnecessary tension, and nobody wants a starring role in a love triangle drama! Try to focus on other aspects of your life and give yourself time to move on. Love is bound to find a way into your heart again—patience, dear Cupid! ❤️

[AviatorTom]

You can't control who you have feelings for. But you can control what you do about it.

It's not wrong to have feelings for someone in a relationship.

It IS wrong to try to do something about it.

[Summeroflove]

If you feel bad then it’s wrong

[fairytale]

Yes, it’s wrong to pursue someone in a relationship. Feelings aren’t always controllable, but actions are. Telling her or her boyfriend would be selfish and only cause unnecessary drama. If their relationship ends on its own, that’s a different story, but until then, respect the boundary. Redirect your energy elsewhere this crush is only hurting you. The sooner you accept that she’s unavailable, the sooner you can move on and find someone who is an option.

[Asker]

Thank you for your honest advice! You're absolutely right respecting boundaries is important, and acting on feelings in this situation would only cause unnecessary drama.

[bongo]

It’s normal to develop feelings, but acting on them is a different story. If she’s in a relationship, the best thing you can do is respect that boundary. Telling her boyfriend wouldn’t help anyone it would only create unnecessary drama. Instead, focus on distancing yourself emotionally and redirecting your energy elsewhere. If their relationship ends naturally, you can reassess your feelings then. For now, stay respectful and don’t let this crush control your actions.

[Asker]

I’ll focus on respecting boundaries and redirecting my energy. Thanks

[Raphaëlle]

My friend told this same story about one of her friends (I don't know her). It is not really your place to butt in their relationship problems if they have those. Do you gain anything by telling him about your feelings? I suggest to move on and don't get involved with any relationship drama between them if they have any.

[FunnyButNotFunnyHaHa]

You can't control your feelings, so no, it's not wrong for you to have these feelings.

But hitting on a friend's girlfriend would be a serious dick move.

Just keep tabs on how those two are doing as a couple, and if they break up, you can wait an appropriate amount of time and then ask her out.

[dream]

It's not wrong to have feelings, but acting on them is another story. You’re aware she’s in a relationship, so pursuing those feelings would be selfish and disrespectful to her boyfriend. Even if their relationship has flaws, it’s still not your place to interfere. You need to let go of this crush and move on. Expressing your feelings to him will only create unnecessary tension. Focus on respecting their relationship and finding someone available to share your feelings with.

[Asker]

I’ll focus on moving on and respecting their relationship. Thanks.

[Theothermarv]

It’s not wrong to crush on her. It is wrong to do romantic stuff with her. You gotta respect that she already has a man. It’s not wrong to tell her how you feel, and if she thinks you’re the better man she might dump him for you. But don’t do anything crazy to try to break them up. Respect her choice.

[Nikki1989]

No, it is totally normal. It is only an issue for insecure folk, and having feelings for someone who is unavailable doesn't make you a bad person.

[Luopio27]

Been there, done that!
Forget that dream. Move on. If she leaves for you, she'll likely do it again, dimping u for better!

[soe11]

• Morality absolutely wrong.
• You have to think about on his side.

[Oldschool1981]

My wife is happily married to me but has a side guy, so maybe It's not a big deal

[Anonymous]

You can't choose who you love.
You can choose to leave well enough alone

[Anonymous]

It happens, people usually can't control how they feel.

[Valdemort]

Not wrong. Just don't act on it.

[Anonymous]

yes, Wrong!