She doesn't know that I've been with other men and I don't see any need to tell her that, but people close to me have told me that it's something she should know. What do you all think?
1 yWhile you don't have to tell your girlfriend you're bisexual, it's generally considered important to be honest about your sexual orientation in a relationship, as honesty is a key foundation for trust; however, the decision of when and how to disclose this information is ultimately up to you and depends on your comfort level and the dynamics of your relationship.
Key points to consider:
Honesty is key:
If you want a strong, trusting relationship, disclosing your bisexuality can be crucial to building openness and vulnerability with your partner.
Impact on the relationship:
Think about how revealing your bisexuality might affect your girlfriend's feelings and the relationship dynamic.
Your comfort level:
If you're not comfortable sharing this information yet, you can wait until you feel more prepared.
Open communication:
If you decide to tell her, choose a calm, private moment to have an open and honest conversation about your feelings and what being bisexual means to you.10 Reply
Most Helpful Opinions
- 375 opinions shared on Relationships topic.
1 yWell, I think to have an open & honest relationship you might opt to tell you’ve been with guys in the past since you are bisexual though the important thing to remember is you chose her & love her dearly while those others didn’t matter.
Other than the principle of telling her you dated other people before her, you can be open about your sexuality or not since that is a personal choice. I don’t think she’ll look at you differently for that since she loves you for who you are, don’t overthink it.
00 Reply
- 1.3K opinions shared on Relationships topic.
1 yAre you in a serious committed relationship with this woman? Exclusive? Have you both been tested for STDs? Do you practice safe sex?
How long have you been together? All of these questions need to be answered first.
Have you ever had a conversation about bisexuality or trans sexuality? Do you have any idea how she would view a bisexual man?
But the bottom line is, if you're a faithful partner, you're a faithful partner. I know men who've been married and who became faithful partners in gay relationships. I'd call that person bisexual. But does that matter if they're with only one person at a time.
I'd expect this might come up at some time in your relationship if you stay together. But, are you worried that it'll end your relationship? Is this the "no tell" factor?00 Reply
2.7K opinions shared on Relationships topic. Yeah. She should known what she’s getting into. It shouldn’t be the end all and be all of your relationship, but it should be a convo you have sooner rather than later in case that lifestyle doesn’t suit her.
11 Reply
Asker1 yLifestyle? What are you talking about? I'm with her and no one else. Why should I say I'm bisexual if I'm with her and no one else?
AI Opinion
As a relationship coach, I'm all about open and honest communication, especially when it comes to the heart! 💖 Sharing your bisexuality with your girlfriend can be crucial for building trust and transparency in your relationship. It’s not just about your past; it’s about being your authentic self with her and allowing her to understand all facets of who you are. She deserves to be with the real you! But remember, love, the timing and setting for such a conversation should feel right to you both. 🌈😉
00 Reply
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
33Opinion
- 3.2K opinions shared on Relationships topic.
1 yYou say you've been with men. If that's in the past, and now there is only her, there's no need to tell her. If that's something you still do, or plan to do, then it would be good to let her know that.
10 Reply 1.7K opinions shared on Relationships topic. If you say "i'm bisexual" while in a relationship, what it says to me is you are still on the market cause you're open to more than the one you're with. Heterosexuals never say to their girlfriend/wife: "Oh, honey, I'm HETEROSEXUAL. Make sure you keep that in mind, babe." No, it's not a thing.
And that's also why I wouldn't even date (if I weren't married) any woman saying she's bi. That just means she's 2x more likely to get restless and cheat and that I can't even tell who she might be sneaking out on cause her "girlfriend" could be her bed buddy. No thanks. Life is hard enough without extra bs.
34 Reply- 1 y
Uh no… she’s assuming he’s straight! That’s why people don’t say it… but if you’re not straight then you need to let her know
- 1 y
@Chelsdope0 Yes. Point is if he has to say it it means he's on the market still. He is free to become hetero isn't he? And if he isn't then he's saying he's not loyal. You can't be on the fence forever.
1 yYes… I was heartbroken I had to find out…. She has the right to know especially if she’s a straight woman… a lot of straight women don’t want to know that their man has been inside another or Vice versa… no offense but gross.
Being in a relationship revolves around trust and transparency.. if she loves you she won’t care… but she deserves to know that you swing both ways. It’s selfish and deceiving not to let her know.
61 Reply- 1 y
There’s nothing wrong with being bi but make sure you consider her feelings… a guy I loved wanted to be with trans women and I had no idea.. it hurt me to my core and I haven’t dated again in 2 years… I felt less than
689 opinions shared on Relationships topic. You should definitely tell her. For this very brutally true reason: you've been with men, and there's no telling if you could ever give her HIV, even if you don’t have it, it can be dormant in a person for years before it infects them. So you should definitely be honest.
I know that sounds harsh but you want to be very upfront with her about something like that.
02 Reply
Asker1 yDo you think I would be with just anyone? Hahahaah.
If your concern is HIV, then don't worry.
1 yI think it's reasonable to expect sexual partners to be honest and forthcoming about their sexual orientation. Consenting to a sexual act involves accepting certain kinds of risks and I think it's only fair for them to fully understand what those risks are.
00 Reply- 788 opinions shared on Relationships topic.
1 yWell would you expect her to tell you if she was bi-sexual or had at least been with women?
Putting that aside though if you consider yourself bi-sexual then yes i consider that something that people should share with their partners as hiding it I consider to mean a lot more negatively.00 Reply If you’re serious about your relationship, I’d definitely tell her. It might turn her on, and for all you know she might be bi-curious about other girls as well. I actually have a good friend who is mostly gay, but a little bi. He occasionally has sex with women, and even suggested a threesome with my wife (didn’t happen, but my wife thought it was hot).
00 Reply- 2K opinions shared on Relationships topic.
1 yHas she ever asked about your past? It's important not to lie.
I dunno, I would say you should be open and honest about part of your life, she may feel its a betrayal not to tell her if she finds out later. Why do you feel you have to hide it? Do you feel she'll judge you for it? Is that someone you want to be with?00 Reply
1 yit's better if she learns it from you... not others...
45 Reply
Asker1 yNo one will tell her.
- 1 y
except if someone will... but it's your life and your risk...
trust is the basis for the relationship... if you don't trust her, why are you even with her?
Asker1 yI don't think you understand. For me it's not a case of trust, I really don't think it's necessary to talk. What difference would it make?
Asker1 yI think*
- 1 y
when she learns it from someone, not you... you will lose everything... so I can't see the reason to hesitate... are you ashamed or something?
it's your life... but people don't like to be treated that way... if they offer you their trust, they expect the same in return... so... if you want to risk it... it's your choice... no one can force you... your life, your decisions, and your consequences to face...
Anonymous(30-35)1 yMy current partner told me on our first date (it was a double date) as we were talking about something else. I waited til I knew he was gonna be around for a while before I told him I'm also bi. It wouldn't have changed how I see him but I think I would've been upset if I had found out some other way. And It also opens up potential "activities" for us in the future.
12 Reply
Opinion Owner1 y@Jennz6 and some girls like bi guys, me being one. But I do think it's something to share with a potential partner. Mine told me because he didn't want it to be a surprise later on.
454 opinions shared on Relationships topic. You should be honest. That said, expect questions. Women are nosy. She may think less of you as a man especially if you were a bottom. Some women won’t care though, especially if they had bisexual experiences. But some women just won’t see you the same as they want a masculine man. I hope it was worth it because it may cost you a wife in the future.
00 Reply
Anonymous(36-45)1 yWhy is this information being withheld if you are in a committed relationship? It is important for ones sexual health to know the history of their partner especially if you intend to continue sexual relationships with other partners. "The past" doesn't always stay dead and buried as people would like one to believe. What happens if you run into some old boyfriend? Do you really want her finding out like that? She may even think you've been cheating when you haven't.
00 Reply
Anonymous(18-24)1 yThere's a decent chance that even if she considers herself open-minded the idea of you doing sexual things with men in the past will gross her out and she'll see you differently. In my opinion you don't necessarily have to tell her but if you're generally open about it with your friends and stuff she will probably find out eventually.
00 Reply
1 yMost definitely that is something she should no because everyday that goes by is gone make it worse. If you don’t plan on being with another man while you are with her just bring it up over a date night maybe get some date night couples card games that might hint at that topic so it make it easy to talk about.
00 Reply- 707 opinions shared on Relationships topic.
1 yYou could be, then she might be insecure around men, thinking they might try to flirt with you.
I don't personally know her, I'm just used to women acting that way about their boyfriends. I get it's insecurity based on their cheating exs, but they fail and refuse to notice they are part of the problem.
Just be aware of how she acts normally, when you are around women, then decide based on that.00 Reply
Anonymous(18-24)1 yI'd be devastated if I found out my boyfriend was gay.
70 Reply1.1K opinions shared on Relationships topic. Yes, you should be honest about things like that. If she loves you and you’re faithful, she won’t care.
26 Reply- 1 y
Do you know what happened to Mandyfire?
- 1 y
What do you mean?
Is she okay? - 1 y
Ohkkk. You had me scared for a moment lol.
Glad to know she's okay.
Wish her all the best for me.
Thank you
1 yI'd tell her.
I imagine you'd like her to be honest about everything with you too, right?
02 Reply
Asker1 yNah. I don't need to know everything.
So if she F'ed a guy with H3rp3s you wouldn't want to know?
- 817 opinions shared on Relationships topic.
m 1 yI fail to see why people around you tell you that, I see no moral reasons to deliver that information against your own comfort. What are the reasons invoked by these people?
012 Reply- 1 y
Ummm yes. I would want to know. I’m not bisexual… so why would I want a man who has been inside another man’s rectum. Nasty
- 1 y
The reason you're invoking here is your own disgust about events that aren't even real/happening to you, since this hypothetical man would be with you, not with a man. It is not his business to deal with your own disgust that you're projecting onto him
- 1 y
This has happened to me so it’s not “hypothetical”
- 1 y
But at the end of the day I still had feelings and they are conflicted even though he cares nothing about me and prefers to be with a trans woman
- 1 y
I know I’ll never be enough for him.. I’m already insecure with him wanting other women… now I uh age to consider trans and possibly men
- 1 y
I'm sorry to hear that, but it's an entirely different topic you're bringing in
- 1 y
It’s not.. it’s my story on why a man should tell a woman that he’s bisexual. Take her feelings into account
- 1 y
But again, you're asking someone else to anticipate your personal vulnerable points, it's unrealistic, they are yours. Plus, this is not transferable to all women, it talks about you, only you
- 1 y
IM A WOMAN! A good majority feel this way unless they are queer
- 1 y
You're one woman, yes, you can't, realistically, have any idea of what any majority thinks about such a personal topic, you can just imagine what they think and then you believe it is true.
- 1 y
Well if that’s the case you can’t answer either… I’m giving my opinion on why he SHOULD tell her.
- 1 y
No one can really give a useful answer, since it is between the asker and one woman we don't even know. My answer simply consists in a question, that is, asking for the reasons people close to the asker are invoking
Anonymous(36-45)1 yAre you two monogamous? Are you going to be having sex with other guys while you two are in a relationship? If you’re not going to be having sex with other people while you’re together, it’s not really important for her to know about her past.
00 Reply- 2.2K opinions shared on Relationships topic.
1 yYes. It is lying by omission if you withhold that. Some people don't want bi people as their long term partners.
20 Reply - 859 opinions shared on Relationships topic.
1 yOf course it's important. If you are afraid to tell her that means you're afraid that she won't accept it. And if that's your belief, then it means you are intentionally deceiving her.
02 Reply
Asker1 yI'm not afraid, I think it's irrelevant.
- 1 y
If you thought it was important enough to ask that question here, but yet you don't feel it's important enough to tell her about it, you are deceiving yourself. Clearly you are concerned about her reaction and that's why you're not telling her.
- 337 opinions shared on Relationships topic.
1 yyou must tell her i'm sure she'll understand
20 Reply
Anonymous(25-29)1 yYes. I’d never want to be with a bi person and would leave just because they haven’t said anything. Would be incredibly weird to me
Some people don’t want to be with people who are bi or anything else02 Reply- 1 y
I'm curious. Well I guess you would call it "curious-bi" 🤣😂 why wouldn't you?
Opinion Owner1 yBecause it doesn’t align with my belief, morals or values and that is not what I want to be involved with. People are allowed to have preferences and boundaries so yeah keeping that would be crossing that and be extremely disrespectful. I’m not a leftist
She probably already suspects you are bi, if you are.
Honesty in a relationship is always best. How and when you tell her is up to you.
00 Reply
1 yYes, of course. Being a f***** disqualifies you from marriage.
11 Reply
Asker1 yHahahahahahah
1.2K opinions shared on Relationships topic. No one is really "bisexual". You're either desperate for anyone, or too insincere to commit to anyone.
00 Reply
1 yMaybe it is best to tell her as it is coming straight from you, and not someone else.
00 Reply1.8K opinions shared on Relationships topic. According to the CDC, homosexuals are much more likely to contract stds so yeah you should tell her before you give her a disease.
05 Reply
Asker1 yI drink sugarcane juice. It's a miracle cure for any disease, so there's nothing to worry about.
Asker1 yGod told me that.
Asker1 yBut God also has sex with men, huh.
Anonymous(45 Plus)1 yIt's who you are why do you feel the need to hide it?
14 Reply
Asker1 yI'm not hiding it, I just don't see the point in telling.
Opinion Owner1 yThat doesn't hold up in court. Why should it in a relationship?
Asker1 yWhy is being bisexual not a crime? Are you serious?
Asker1 yBecause*
English is my fourth language.
No such thing as Bisexual, Just Homosexual users That know they can't have children without getting with a member of the opposite sex.
04 Reply
Asker1 yI don't even want to be a father. Hahahahahahah
Asker1 yShe doesn't want to be a mother either hahaahaha.
1 yWell some bisexuals don’t tell some do. If you do you will be more likely alone for the rest of your life.
12 ReplyIt’s is and will continue to be an infringement of her rights. Declare your sexual orientation to her to inform her decision.
11 Reply
Asker1 yViolation of her rights? Huh?
- 1.5K opinions shared on Relationships topic.
1 yYou should tell her. Not because you owe her an explanation but you need to be honest with yourself
00 Reply 8K opinions shared on Relationships topic. You don't think it's important to tell her you take it in the ass?
02 Reply
Asker1 yNo. It's irrelevant.
Yes and I was upfront with my boyfriend I’m bi.
00 Reply- 1.3K opinions shared on Relationships topic.
1 yYes you need to tell her.
42 Reply
Asker1 yNah...
- 1 y
Well if she is a woman she will find out sooner or later and dump you for lying.
- 540 opinions shared on Relationships topic.
1 ywell she will find out eventually. I am sure most women are not happy with this.
10 Reply - 368 opinions shared on Relationships topic.
1 yThat’s obviously highly disrespectful to keep that secret
00 Reply
1 yIf you don’t want to be with men again, you don’t need to tell her
00 Reply
Anonymous(45 Plus)1 yBefore any potential marriage to your girlfriend, you would owe her that information
00 Reply
1 yShe should know
12 Reply
Asker1 yWhy?
- 1 y
I don't know but it's just normal because it's about you
Either tell her or invite her to a 3-some
20 Reply7.3K opinions shared on Relationships topic. You need to tell her this.
00 Reply
Anonymous(30-35)1 yLawd I love bisexual men!
10 ReplyU should be honest and tell her
10 Reply1.8K opinions shared on Relationships topic. I think you should tell her.
00 ReplyI think you should tell her and explain
00 Reply361 opinions shared on Relationships topic. It doesn't matter
00 Reply
1 yYou know stds right
01 Reply
Asker1 yThis does not exist. It is a lie that Reptilians infiltrated in the government created to boost the sale of medicines in pharmacies.
- 598 opinions shared on Relationships topic.
1 yYes it is important , she should know
00 Reply
Anonymous(30-35)1 yYes, it's importnt.
00 Reply
1 yAyoo This nigga gay y'all
01 Reply- 1 y
Definitely tf
Anonymous(18-24)1 yEwww
20 Reply
Anonymous(30-35)1 yThe real question is
00 Reply- 632 opinions shared on Relationships topic.
1 yI think so.
00 Reply
Girls, Should I tell my new girlfriend that I am bisexual?
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