Is it a red flag to refer to ex as “We” in conversation?

[Gigimadid]

In conversation when talking about the past/ telling a story that involves your ex. Do you mention We or just say I and leave the ex out of the story when talking to a new partner.

Yes major red flag

No it’s normal

Depends on the context

Other

[WindAtMyBack]

'We' is a basic pronoun in English. It's the correct word to use when talking about yourself and someone else.

Yes, you COULD talk about just yourself, but I think that's pretty awkward linguistically. Talking about the people in plural is more natural.

So, no, it's not a red flag. Not even a yellow flag. Just natural English.

[AviatorTom]

It's perfectly normal to use WE when referring to you and your ex in the past. For example, you didn't raise the children yourself, did you?

[AI Opinion]

Ah, the delicate dance of "We" vs. "I" when discussing the ex files! 🎶 Dropping a casual "We" might make your current partner do a pirouette of suspicion. It could be perceived as a lingering attachment or just an innocent habit. To be safe, sprinkle your stories with "I" to highlight your personal perspective and keep any lurking red flags at bay. Focus on your new adventures together instead! 🌟

[AnonAndrew]

Usually it's not a red flag. It's normal to refer to oneself and another person as "we." I do it with my girlfriend, but also me and my parents, siblings, friends, co-workers...

If you are wondering if it indicates that the person still thinks of themselves and their ex as a couple (or wishes they were still a couple), then the answer is no, absent a very specific context.

[genericname85]

i mean if it's a story that involved the ex, then i'd say we. it's the same with friends. i would also say we if i was there with friends. it's not a red flag. unless he's constantly on and on about what "they would do together". that's a red flag. but not if he's casually mentioning her.

[Crazyced]

Depends on context. But mostly and especially if I talk to new girls I will say 'I bought my house X years ago' and 'Oh yeah I've been to XWZ as well!' Using 'we' would both be a bit weird and probably off putting to the other girl.

[MisterWack]

We mainly is a red flag since it labels “we are together still”, keeping emphasis on ex is better.

[Nikki1989]

I have discussed exes more on here than I ever have with my husband. The topic never comes up, like it never should anyway.

[NicholasRedone]

Hell why do I care "we made pornos once" 🤢🤭🤮 says the ex girlfriend imagination lol 😆

[molonski2]

Id say in context described that its hardly an issue.

[HungTexan]

It obviously depends on the context of her conversation. It’s not a big deal anyway. Get over it.

[Kingofkings1992]

“We” means myself and a least one other person. I can’t understand why anyone would perceive that as a red flag. Now, if they’re FREQUENTLY talking about old memories with their ex , then that’s a different story.

[Mangospacho]

It’s a major red flag. Any ex should hereby be referred to as “that woman”

[WhitneySnow]

Depends on context

[katiesmuff]

Would depend on the content of the conversation.

[Anonymous]

"my ex and i" would make sense.

[Wise4myage]

Yes, especially if he does it repeatedly.