What does loneliness mean to you?

Question

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

I've got no friends except online ones across the country at closest and across the ocean at farthest. I've never had a real girlfriend and just gave up dating because it hurt too much. I feel unwanted and unwelcome in society, so I live in my apartment like a hermit. Sometimes I don't even leave the room for days at a time.

One of the things that's really hard to deal with is the lack of human touch. Back in the day I used to be happy to hug anyone who wanted one, now though I've gotten so skittish I get stressed and angry when people touch me without asking unless they're family. Two hugs a month is not enough touch; I literally cry myself to sleep some nights because I sleep in an empty bed alone every single night.

I don't even care about sex anymore TBH I just want the connection and the physical contact that comes with hugs cuddles and kisses etc. Unfortunately, I don't have a partner to do those things with. I had sex one time, and it was loveless, I felt gross for weeks afterwards and still do when I think about it. Being honest I'm straight up desperate for a connection with someone special if only to be hugged on a regular basis for fucks sake.

It's gotten to the point where sometimes getting a hug from my own dad is a bit uncomfortable and I think it's a psychological tick I've developed after repeated various forms of emotional abuse all my life largely from pretty much everyone in my life except my dad. Growing up I was the kid who sat at the table where all the other kids without a table sat. Basically, the reject section of the cafeteria.

I never fit in, and I never have for a lot of reasons most of which I don't feel like I can control because they're heavily linked to my unbalanced body chemistry. By the time I reached high school it felt like I could count the people who saw me instead of looked passed me if that makes sense on one hand.

When I hit Junior year, I had kind of a "God Damnit!" moment that felt eye opening. I was watching a video about the CIA and in their bussiness they have something called a "Grey Man." Which is a term for a person who is so insignificant looking they don't stand out and might as well be invisible and things started making sense after that.

One of the other things that was emotionally exhausting was how many times I had a crush or liked someone and got used. They would vent and I would listen to them be sad sometimes up until after midnight multiple days in a row when I was busy each day after. Then they drop me like a sack of potatoes often times jumping right to someone else and get into a relationship with them and I'm not even a friend anymore.

Basically, most of the times I got attention I was the "Safe" guy who was good enough to vent to and make you feel better, but I wasn't good enough for them to give me a chance. Worst part is they strung me along a lot and sent mixed signals which messed with my head. Frankly I'd still help her even if she gave me a straight up no but instead, I got baited more than once for trying to help someone I was fond of.

I feel so isolated in so many ways it's literally starting to drive me crazy. This winter is going much better but still difficult but last winter I was thinking about S***** at least half of my day every day. I was either planning to H*** myself publicly or pour gas on myself in the middle of the street before striking a match.

I'm in a much better and safer place this winter but I'm still in constant pain or at least it feels that way.

ABC1x1x · Accepted Answer

I've onlybexperienced it for a few hours in my 43 years. I had a twin brother so from the womb tob19, when he moved out, we were together. I had so many friends and siblings. Once, when I was 23 I had my girlfriend meet me at my Father's house because I knew he was away for the night in Atlantic city and I didn't want her to know where I lived for real. She left shortly after midnight and when the door swung close the noise sounded like a shotgun amd my reality turned into the hallway of mirrors that went on for infinity and nobody was there. Those first few minutes where I was frozen are what I can only imagine Hell is. When I got the strength to flee Hell I did. I walked to the corner department store. It was closed but there were homeless people out back and a street sweeper crew. I hung out with them until the sun came up and more people woke up. Never to be alone again for a single second for the next 20 years

naartjie · Accepted Answer

I actually like being alone- to an extent.
I like not having friends, my phone not blowing up, I don’t have to deal with fights or drama. I can focus on my health/gym, my hobbies and don’t feel bad for going MIA for weeks because I want to sew and can’t be bothered hearing about other peoples problems.
I care about my family and me.
I’ve been alone on the opposite side of the world from family since I was 17 so I like being alone/having only some family.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Trying to explain someone what you see, but you're blind. Trying to tell someone what a bird sounds like, but you're deaf. Trying to describe the smell of flowers, but there's no scent.

It's not being alone, or not having anyone- it's being in a room full of people and you're the only one who's smile doesn't reach their eyes, because the music is too loud, and still you can't hear it.

Love Doctor Brad · Accepted Answer

As a relationship coach and a bit of a romantic myself, loneliness can be like an uninvited guest crashing your cozy little party. It's that feeling when you could totally use a hug but the only thing around is a pillow. However, loneliness is also an opportunity for self-discovery and growth, a reminder that it's time to invest in yourself before lovebombing anyone else. Embrace it, and let it guide you to deeper connections. Remember, you're never really alone in this wild world of relationships! 😊

BobbieBoy666 · Answer

To me, loneliness means a feeling of emotional distress caused by a perceived lack of meaningful connection or companionship with others, where you feel isolated, unseen, and like your need for intimacy is not being met, even if you are surrounded by people; it's a sense of not being fully understood or valued by anyone close to you.

gemb00 · Answer

Being alone, having no one to see or talk to when you want someone to talk to. Feeling like nobody cares because if they did they’d reach out and talk to you.

Anonymous · Answer

There is a difference between being alone vs. feeling lonely.

If you feel lonely (consistently) it’s usually because you are struggling with something. Childhood trauma, addictions, etc. can very heavily impact this.

I have gotten serious about treating two serious addictions in the last few years (anon programs). Not easy but now I am feeling much better about myself. I don’t mind being alone.

Nikki1989 · Answer

I have never felt it to know. I have felt abandonment, but even then, I was never truly lonely.

Agape93 · Answer

Knowing that even if not alone, nobody is there for you. Nobody cares if you're ok, if you're scared, if you're suffering or if you're alive

YourExLover69 · Answer

No girl to be around me in my good and bad. No girl to talk with. No girl to flirt/discuss and talk about every single precious moments. That's loneliness.

Which I'm currently suffering too unfortunately 😕

KrakenAttackin · Answer

Most men are so used to loneliness that we embrace it like a cloke in the rain. When a woman says she is "lonely" it means she doesn't have enough simps to boost her ego.

When a man says (and men never say this out loud) that he is lonely, it means he hasn't spoken with anyone outside of work in years.

NicholasRedone · Answer

Mr Bean, and most lead characters who are fictional however - they're happy. As I'm also happy

MikeRJ · Answer

Feeling the desire to make a connection with someone.

Ladsin2 · Answer

I don't really understand the question. A person who feels lonely feels like they are alone. Many people are lonely that aren't alone. Many people who are alone don't feel lonely.

jshm2 · Answer

Nothing, I don't get lonely.  I see it as a failure and character flaw in people who claim to be "lonely".

SolitarySolace · Answer

To me it means have no problems to worry about. I prefer to be alone. I means I don’t have to put up with women and I get to remain at home and pour myself into the books I write

LiamJHayden · Answer

Being the only living human with no domestic animals alive, either.

Flower7 · Answer

Being unhappy when alone, not being able to feel content unless another person is there.

Unit1 · Answer

Just another Tuesday

Anonymous · Answer

A potentially emotionally crippling condition that at it's extreme can cause suicide. Affects more people than you think.

virtualwasp · Answer

Eating a share packet to yourself 😞

dragoblack · Answer

No human interaction, no intimacy, no love, no genuin connection,... etc. (none of this is about sex). Basically it's no different than living by yourself and no one ever comes over.

Gabriel-Chicanito · Answer

T' some gals. There were guyz who loved you-but just could not afford you..

linka_pat307 · Answer

It feels deep and hurts... it pains...2024 taught me that

JustBeingReal727 · Answer

Not being able to express myself when I need to vent and not being acknowledged by those whom I've helped out.

Tomisworthless · Answer

I prefer to be alone so loneliness isn't a depressing thing and ultimately it works out best for me and others

princeofromance · Answer

It means being alone without a partner to share my life with.

Anonymous · Answer

Lack of motivation.

MoonFace2 · Answer

Isolation and anguish.

Crazzyyworld · Answer

loneliness means horny and pretentious?

Justneedtokno · Answer

Absent of others. Or alone in understanding.

FunkyMonkee · Answer

My life!!

Dongie · Answer

It means I'm by myself.

lorenzomichael · Answer

Probably a jail cell

In_Trance · Answer

nothing

What does loneliness mean to you?

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