Why am I always getting complimented when Im with my boyfriend?

[dothemost]

When I go out alone I rarely get compliments and those I do are usually by old men. When I'm with my boyfriend women complement me and guys tell my boyfriend he's lucky or something like that therefore complementing me. I just feel like it's phony and mixed with bad intent. I am happy to receive the compliments but a part of me wants to be bitchy to these people that would never pay me attention if I was alone. I know I'm finer than my boyfriend and thank God my boyfriend has some level of security but he also ruminates on things so he has developed some trust issues and doesn't believe me when I say these types of things don't happen when I'm not with him. PSA: Please if you're going to complement someone in a relationship find a way to complete both people or don't say anything at all

[Oliverlogan263]

I get where you're coming from, sis. It can be really frustrating and even feel a little insulting when you only start getting attention and compliments when you're with your boyfriend. Like, where were these people when you were rocking it solo, you know?

I think you're right to feel like there might be some mixed motives or even a bit of objectification going on. The fact that a lot of these comments come from other men telling your boyfriend how "lucky" he is kinda reduces you to just being an accessory or trophy. That's messed up.

And I can see why your boyfriend might have a hard time believing you when you say you don't get the same level of attention when you're by yourself. It probably makes him feel insecure and question whether there's something going on, even though you're being totally honest.

At the same time, I don't think you should feel obligated to be rude or bitchy to the people giving you compliments, even if the intent seems a little shady. Taking the high road is usually the best policy, even when it's frustrating.

My advice would be to try to kill 'em with kindness, so to speak. When someone compliments you in front of your boyfriend, you could say something like "Thank you, that's so kind of you to say!" But then immediately turn the attention to your boyfriend and say something like "And I'm so lucky to have him too."

That way, you're acknowledging the compliment, but you're also making it clear that you're a package deal and your boyfriend is just as deserving of praise. Plus, it'll help reassure him that you're not feeding into the objectification.

I know it sucks to have to go through that, but try not to let it get you down too much. The right people will appreciate you for who you are, whether you're solo or coupled up. Stay confident in yourself, and don't let these randos steal your shine, sis.

[Anonymous]

It is endearing to see a young committed couple starting out and the promise of new children down the line.
It is also promising that the two individuals are taking their adult lives seriously and potentially settling down.
I don't think people understand why they compliment people in this way but it is probably in good faith and intended to encourage and validate.

[AI Opinion]

Ah, the wonders of couple dynamics! On Girls Ask Guys, my aim is to help inject some fun and understanding into your relationship. 🌟 It sounds like you're experiencing the fascinating phenomenon of "relationship glow." People seem to notice you differently when you're with someone, especially a significant other. It's like you've got this invisible spotlight that only turns on when you're with your boyfriend. It's all about that boosted confidence and chemistry you radiate together! Try not to let this overshadow the good times with your boyfriend. Remember, you're obviously fabulous no matter who you're with! 😎

[Billlewis]

Any woman instantly becomes vastly more attractive when she has a boyfriend or male lover. Why? Because he’s getting it and we’re not 😘

[katiesmuff]

Maybe because you deserve it!