What should I tell my best friend?

[Allenquestions]

Hey guys I really need legit advice on what to do in this situation. I have a friend I’ve been friends with for close to 12 years now. I consider him to be my best friend. The closest thing to a brother I can have. We’ve always been really tight And have been there For each other when things have been rough. I’m 24 years old he’s 23 years old. He has a girlfriend who is currently 20 years old. I really don’t like his Girlfriend because I think she’s super controlling and doesn’t let him go out and enjoy life. Since she’s not 21 She can’t really do much. A lot of the times we can’t go out to any place unless she comes if she can’t go, then he can’t. Recently from my 24th birthday. I had invited my best friend to the park for a DJ event in LA. it had a live DJ, great food trucks and great mini shops to look around. I was very heartbroken when he told me “no” to attending. he said “ it’s disrespectful to my relationship if I go to an event like that “ I was shocked because I just thought to myself “ What about our Friendship” I was heartbroken. This isn’t the first time he’s done this every time our friend group wants to go out He can’t go because she can’t go. Sometimes it’s not even a bar or a club sometimes it’s just a 21+ event and he still is obligated to not go. Hundreds of times. Couple months past later And he asked me a question? He had the audacity to ask if I wanted to come celebrate her 21st birthday party at a club in Vegas. I know this sounds like some high school drama, but I need some advice on how to tell him no And that he’s in a very toxic relationship. Thanks

[SueShe]

Your friend seems to have put you your friendship on hold for this girl that rules his life. He does not seem to have a backbone to tell her that his friendship with you is equally important to him as she is.

If she controls him, then it is up to him to do something about it and to either separate from her or to put your friendship on the backburner, which is what is actually happening.

There is not much you can do at this time because if you tell him that you don't like the way she controls him, you will place him in a situation where he will have to make a decision. Either her or you but not both. He should realize that she is destroying your friendship but he is the one to have to make that decision. What is more important to him. You or her?

[KITEinStorm]

If you were that girlfriend, what would you do if your boyfriend's best friend came to you and tried to force your boyfriend to make a choice?

[SueShe]

@KITEinStorm First I would never be that girlfriend because dating does not interest me. However, if I had to be her, then obviously, I would not interfere with a long term friendship and place that boyfriend in a situation where he will have to make a choice sooner or later. Either a friendship and no girlfriend or a girlfriend and no best friend.

[KITEinStorm]

Of course, you wouldn't be in that girlfriend's shoes, but I asked because you could look at it from a woman's perspective.

[katiesmuff]

Why didn't he just bring the girlfriend, a concert with DJ's and food trucks doesn't have age restrictions.

[KITEinStorm]

It's a tough situation, it feels bad when your friend is suddenly taken away from you by someone else. But he should have known how to strike the balance between his girlfriend and his best friend.

If you want to get back on track with your friend, give his girlfriend a chance and go to the party. Otherwise, that girl will cause the bond between you and your best friend to be severed.

[AviatorTom]

You think it's a toxic relationship. We're not sure he thinks that way. Sounds more like you are jealous that he has found someone more than a friend. Please stop trying to control his life. A true friend supports their friend, let's them live their own life.

To answer your question...

Don't tell him anything. Tell yourself to feel good for him, that he's found someone.

[AI Opinion]

Ah, the intricate dance of friendship colliding with the perilous lovebug bites! 🕺💃 My aim here on Girls Ask Guys is to give you some playful yet insightful advice. Your friend seems to be caught up in a whirlwind of lovebombs 🌪️, but you need to express your feelings gently. Share your concerns, suggesting you miss the fun times with just the two of you.

Let him know you're worried about his relationship's effect on your friendship without directly blaming his girlfriend or calling her controlling. You could say, "I miss the times we hung out with just the guys. I hope we can find a balance. I value our bro-bond, but I can't attend the birthday bash." This way, you're prioritizing the friendship while throwing shade on the issue at hand. ❤️‍🔥

Letting him know you’re there if he needs to talk could open the door for a more profound conversation. Know that love sometimes sways even the closest of pals. Keep calm and let your friendship shine through! 🌟

[Anonymous]

Honestly, show you're supportive of them both and go to the party. Cause you'll likely put more of a strain on the friendship otherwise.

Though, if it persists, ask yourself if that's the kind of friendship you want to be part of.