I have adhd and I miss things my girlfiend feels like dont listen I want to I love her I have severe adhd and I try I hate hurting her what do I do?

[Jefftheduck]

I want so badly to to really hear her and understand her but sometimes she wants me to infer things from what she said and I don’t get it or I’ll miss a peice of something she said because my mind wanders I start thinking about how great she is or something she said reminds me of something I wanna tell her my mind is always working and fast too it’s overwhelming and I want her to know I care about her feelings and thoughts and words I want to listen so badly I just struggle with it

Updates

1 y

He thought it was fine to try and see if it works wich it does but it only lasts a couple hours I can’t swing smoking every couple hours I have shit to do lol recently after we fought about my listening or lack there of I’ve been looking into coping mechanisms and techniques to do better I’m doing internal work but I thought advice in this situation could be good

[Finchie40]

If you truly love her , then let her go and realize you aren’t capable of being the guy she deserves , especially if you keep hurting her feelings. You are best to let her go , so she can find someone that doesn’t hurt her feelings like you do Just be open and honest with her that your ADHD is effecting the way you treat her and that you feel it isn’t fair to her. If she chooses to stay by your side then that’s her choice and her decision , but at least you gave her an option to choose from. Just because you love someone , it doesn’t mean you have to be with that someone , especially if you know you are hurting their feelings

[Jefftheduck]

I disagree that you run into a problem you give up you work through it together you find ways to accommodate things when you love each other besides we get along 99.9 percent of the time this is isn’t a constant occurrence it does happen occasionally but overall our interactions are positive and we enjoy each other I just think you’re over simplifying and being drastic a bit it’s not like she doesn’t hurt my feelings sometimes conflict is absolutely a part of even the healthiest relationship and our communication about it was respectful and nice and open we talked about our feelings and what happened and ways we can both adjust for each other and we made up within a couple hours she was mad a bit at first but we worked through it I just think if i thought you’re way I’m just not allowed to date ever because I have adhd because this would be the case with all partners also it’s not growth mindset at all it’s close minded like I can’t do anything to grow or change as person this response was presumptive and a bit rude in my opinion

[Finchie40]

No I wasn’t being rude whatsoever, Ii just answered your question that you said you keep hurting her , I did t know all the details of your relationship, I was just saying if you know you are constantly hurting someone then sometimes it’s best to let them go , so you don’t hurt them anymore. Now that you replied to my opinion , now I know what you actually mean. So all I can tell you man is to keep communicating with your girlfriend and work on compromising together without pointing fingers at each other , if you want to stop hurting her feelings then the best thing for you to do is get help for your ADHD so you no longer hurt her feelings, as long as you communicate with her and be honest with her , she will more than likely listen to what you are saying instead of feeling hurt by things you are saying. My son has severe ADHD and trying to understand him is sadly hard to do sometimes , I been researching ADHD like crazy , so I can understand him without yelling and fighting with him

[In_Trance]

Do you know who Dr Leon Eissonburg is?

He is the guy that created ADHD
I bet you also didn't know that on his deathbed he said it was all a scam to increase the profits of pharmaceutical companies

[Jefftheduck]

As someone that has it severe I can personally tell you it’s not fake

[In_Trance]

You're disputing the creator?
The guy that came up with the whole idea said that it was fake and now you're telling him it's not?

Wtf

[Jefftheduck]

It’s literally a chemical imbalance I just googled it it was discovered by sir George Frederic still in 1902

[Jefftheduck]

Here's a more detailed breakdown of the history:
1902:
Sir George Frederic Still, in his Goulstonian Lectures, described a group of children with what he called "an abnormal defect of moral control," which, with hindsight, aligns with the symptoms of ADHD.
1930s:
Charles Bradley, an American physician, observed that a stimulant drug, Benzedrine, improved the behavior and school performance of some children with similar symptoms.
1950s:
The American Psychiatric Association (APA) released the first edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM) in 1952, listing several mental health conditions, but ADHD was not recognized in this edition.
1957:
The condition we know today as ADHD was named "hyperkinetic impulse disorder" by three medical researchers: Maurice Laufer, Eric Denhoff, and Gerald Solomons.
1980s:
The APA released a revised version of the DSM-III in 1987, changing the name to "attention deficit hyperactivity disorder" (ADHD).
2000:
The fourth edition of the DSM established the three subtypes of ADHD used by healthcare professionals today: combined type, predominantly inattentive type, and predominantly hyperactive-impulsive type.

[Jefftheduck]

That’s literally direct copy paste you’re not right even

[In_Trance]

Now research the name that I told you to

[IslaTheWitch]

I wish ADD was a scam... dealing with it is exhausting :D

[IslaTheWitch]

go to the doctor with your diagnosis, to psychiatrist, they will assess your problems and can precribe a med or suggest therapy, depending on the problems you have

ADHD won't go away, you need to take care of it

[AI Opinion]

Ah, the wonders of ADHD and love! Your desire to genuinely connect is a massive green flag, my friend. Have you considered sharing how your ADHD works with your girlfriend? 😊 Let her into your world with a little transparency. Maybe use visual or written cues for important talks. You're both on the same team, after all! With love and support, you can both learn how best to dance to your own unique rhythm.

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

What medication are you taking for it?

[Jefftheduck]

Honestly I’ve been on all of it it doesn’t help it makes me feel off and I stopped taking it years ago I smoke weed that’s the only thing that seems to slow my brain down

[Jefftheduck]

I’ve tried Ritalin vivance adderol you name it all prescription ofc

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

When you say “off” do you mean tired?

[Jefftheduck]

More than tired but yes I feel sedated and I still can’t focus

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

And before you went to weed, what did your psychiatrist say?

[Jefftheduck]

He thought it was fine to try and see if it works wich it does but it only lasts a couple hours I can’t swing smoking every couple hours I have shit to do lol recently after we fought about my listening or lack there of I’ve been looking into coping mechanisms and techniques to do better I’m doing internal work but I thought advice in this situation could be good

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

Why not edibles? It’s a bigger high but it should last longer

[Jefftheduck]

Hmmm maybe I should try it I was worried about being too high usually I don’t get really high just a little it’s more of an actual medicine for me but I mean I’m sure with the right dosages at the right times I’ll as the psychiatrist what he thinks ik he supports weed but like he expects you to treat it like medicine wich I like