Once a girl sees you in a bad light, is there ever any coming back from that?

[Anonymous]

Gave this girl is really like the wrong impression of me the really Wong impression and now she wants nothing to do with me breaks my fucking heart and I’m honestly not sure even if I gave her some time to for her if there’s any coming back.

But at the same time I can’t let go especially if there was any chance at all of being with her but I think it’s time to bite the bullet in realize any farther engagement will just make things worse even though my intentions are to make things better.

[SteveSmith1985]

This is actually a difficult problem I don't know if I can give you a useful answer to.

The solution in most situations is simply to overwhelm the Wrong impression of you, through exposing her to the RIGHT impression of you.

(whether that's getting to know you better, or even just witnessing what sort of person you seem to be; when you interact with people).

It sounds like this is a context where you don't have any opportunity to show the "right" impression of you... without forcing this girl to interact with you. When she has made clear she doesn't want to.

Can you talk a bit more about the context/circumstances?

I donno man. You might indeed be fucked.

if there is no way for her to see what kind of guy you really are without you having to contact her against her express wishes... You're pretty fucked. The only possible solution would be the "long, sincere heartfelt letter" (or e-mail, or whatevrthefuck)

I'm not saying you SHOULD do this. I don't know enough about the situation. I'm just saying it's the only move I can see whatsoever. again, not saying it's appropriate for you.

You just... pour it all out. How you're just so upset that she's gotten the wrong impression of you, and you just needed to set the record straight, even if she still doesn't want to talk to you. blah blah blah.

And hope she takes the effort you're putting into insisting that she's got you wrong... as something that might make her consider... that perhaps she did.

But that's taking a big chance depending on exact situation, how you can contact her (do you run into her in the regular course of life, or are you messaging somebody from a dating app)

I she get a chance to see you naturally (e. g. she works with you, or you're in school together)... then it may just take time.

If she sees that you seem to be a decent guy in how you interact with others, she may give you a chance to at least plead your case to her. And also, obviously... any mutual friends you can get to give you a hand...(you're not an idiot I assume. You've already done this if it applies, I'm sure).

🙂

[hahahmm]

As I recently pointed out to a female in here asking a similar q: trust is like a boat floating on the water. As you break trust it creates holes in the boat and it leaks. If you established a LOT of trust at the start then you start with a bigger boat. If you had very little trust then you started with a row boat.

If you barely knew this chick you can forget about her changing her mind or giving you a break. If you were in a deep relationship for say 20+ years there's more leeway. Although obviously there's always limits depending on the individual.

Anyhow, everybody makes mistakes. When I was maybe 20, I forgot to pick up this female I asked out and she got stood up. I honestly got side tracked working on something else maybe an hours drive from her. After that she wanted zero to do with me and nothing I said could help. But she taught me a valuable life lesson and I never made that kind of mistake again.

[Asker]

Really wise words I’d say the relationship was not super long but not really short I think while my intentions were in the right place my actions came off in the most wrong way possible and really scared her.

Last time we spoke which was a few days ago she said she doesn’t want to talk to me anymore but used another situation as flimsy excuse to kinda push me way.

I want to build a healthier relationship with her if she’ll let me after giving her some time but not so sure it’s in the cards.

[hahahmm]

Always more women out there. It's a two way street too.. if a woman ever does something really bad to you, if you cut her off you're helping her treat others better in the future (possibly).

[Asker]

Part of me knows that letting her go is probably the best and only option here but she’s been my goal for so long I don't know if I can

[hahahmm]

Begging here will just make you look pathetic & turn her off... or even if she seems to be open to you, and you get a lot of what you want, in the end she never takes you seriously. in my opinion.

[Asker]

I know I think it might’ve been to late for that I panicked and definitely ended up making myself look stupid on multiple platforms

[hahahmm]

When I said "here" i meant to write "her" -- but I get what you mean regardless & maybe you mean she saw you acting that way. No shame in asking questions here.

[Asker]

Guess that’s true one can always hope for a better future

[red-lipstick-girl]

HEveryone may be in a bad situation, but the person who does not love leaves immediately, the person who loves tries.

[Asker]

True

[DishLady]

May I ask what line you crossed specifically? I mean, what is SO unforgivable that she wants nothing to do with you?

[Asker]

It’s a really complicated situation but I broke her trust. What sparked the situation itself wasn’t my fault and really had nothing to do with me but she used it as an excuse to get rid of me. And her last words were I don’t wanna talk to you anymore.

Me being a dude confused and heartbroken I was thinking if I simply explain to her that what she’s made at me for isn’t had nothing to do with me then she’ll come around. But I was blocked.
I should’ve left things at that and maybe gave her some space and tried again later.

But I was emotional and panicking the few socials she didn’t block me on I was begging her to let me explain on and emanating myself and probably her,

Second I made other accounts to try and reach out to her so I could show her proof and all this and that. And that ultimately just made her see me as a stalker.

While my intentions were not to scare her in anyway or make her feel uncomfortable it ultimately did and this is the second time something similar has happened between us.

They say third times the charm but I’m not sure there’s any coming back from this or if she really wants to or ever wanted to to begin with but there also a possibility that I soured things on my own with some mistrust early on there a lot of left out details in there on why I was. Mistrustful of her but that’s to much to explain.

[DishLady]

Ok so in addition to offending her (if you did) your error was to stalk her rather than to actually give her space.

From someone who has coached guys whose woman have asked them for space I’ll tell you — don’t reach out to her again go about your business. Think of it as if she rejected you and you’re done. Period.

[Asker]

I think a part of me is in denial that I was stalking her ever time I hear that word I think of some crazy dude following a girl.

I was so blind to my actions I wanted to be with her so badly but most of all I didn’t want to give up and that’s what lead me hear and now it’s time to give up and let her go and I’m struggling more than I ever have desperately trying to find anyway to get her to understand just how sorry I am.

But I think I’m slowly realizing how done things are even if I don’t want to give up and even if I still have hope she doesn’t. She doesn’t want anything to do with me and even if she is open to forgiveness in the future romance is out the question.

[Asker]

I truly wish I could tell her how sorry I am I love her so much knowing that I made her feel this way breaks my heart on a level that is just I can’t even put into words.

[Asker]

And truthfully part of me still hopes that there’s a chance but I know better

[DishLady]

Yeah… don’t hold your breath over it.

[Asker]

Yeah don’t need to tell me twice but one can definitely have wishful thinking I think if ima build up an trust and good will it’ll be from staying away but as long ass I can see her grow and doing well I think that should ultimately make me happy

[AI Opinion]

Oh, the rollercoaster of emotions! 🌪️ Transforming a negative perception can be a tricky journey, but not impossible. Giving her space might just be your best move right now. 🕰️ If she's open to it, a sincere apology and a clear outline of your intentions could help shift her perspective. Meanwhile, focus on self-improvement and let your actions speak for themselves. Remember, the right connections find their way back if they're meant to be. Don’t rush, take it easy, and keep your heart open to possibilities! 💪❤️

[Summeroflove]

As much as it hurts if someone really wants you they would make effort some people you just have to let go of as well as learn form it.

[RingOfFire]

I think your instincts are right. Once the mojo is gone, it's never coming back. The more you chase her, the more she will be turned off.

Sometimes you just have to cut them loose for your own good, and this sounds like one of those times.

[Asker]

That’s the part that hurts the most not sure if I can 😢

[RingOfFire]

You have to. Man up. These things happen in life. That's how you learn lessons.

There is no value to pursuing this if she hasn't responded with any interest. Best thing to do is learn from it and move on. If there is any chance she is still interested she will contact you. The worst thing you can do is keep pushing it. The ball is in her court, not yours. You have to move on.

[Asker]

Easier said then done

[RingOfFire]

I've done it and you can too. Not easy, but better than the alternative of hurting yourself even more and alienating her to the point where she has to push you away even harder.

You live and learn. That's how life goes. You'll find another girl and wonder why you ever settled for something less.

[ProbablyClueless]

I guess it boils down to whether the woman wants to see you in a bad light. From what I can tell, there doesn't seem to be much of a way to come back from it. Women are surprisingly and inexplicably generous about stuff like that.

[Anonymous]

Typically when a woman sees a side she doesn't like it's time to bolt. It depends on the type of offense and how severe the situation seemed in her mind. You could always try and redeem the relationship. Some men send a bouquet of roses or her favorite flowers if they are not good with words or there is no contact going on.

[MikeTheBartender]

Let her see you with another woman, it will solve all the problems.

[DishLady]

Not necessarily. I saw an ex with a gold digging gal the other day and smiled bc he doesn’t know what he’s getting into with her and she has no idea he’s fronting as if he has money.

[RingOfFire]

@DishLady 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Sounds like a match made in heaven!

[DishLady]

For sure! 🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼

[Cuminginside]

@DishLady probably because you took the money

[DishLady]

No, he took mine but thank you mf.

[slatyb]

There likely is not -- she's decided. What did you do? What did you learn?

[Ariesman81]

Personally, I'd call her bluff and double down on the incorrect impression she has of you.

[Asker]

Yeah definitely shouldn’t do that

[Uglygaypoorcoward94]

Nope she usually has formed a view of you and it will remain, if she liked you at first you might do or say something to make her be turned off to you

[Anonymous]

It's possible, but I wouldn't work real hard to change her mind.

[Asker]

Wow first person I’ve seen say anything like this ngl a part of me is definitely desperate to show her I mean well and just care deeply but I’ve already crossed a line that if there’s any chance of coming back from I don’t want burn the bridge

[Opinion Owner]

Well there's one thing life has taught me is 95% of what determines whether a woman is interested you is determined by the goblins in her head. And there is NOTHING you can do about that. You can put in work but it's very unlikely to change anything. She got to want to see you differently and you have little say in that.

[Anonymous]

What happened?

[chocolatetwopointo]

what’d u do?