Is it crazy to get a small tattoo on my hand that represents my girlfriend? I love her very much?

[Jefftheduck]

So like I’m not getting a name or anything like that but I’ve always heard you shouldn’t get tattoos about your spouse I don’t think I’d regret it if we broke up because I’d still wanna remember I’ve never been as in love so it’s special to me even if it didn’t work out anyway her name is sage I’m thinking of getting a small minimalist sage plant sprig on my hand inbetween my pointer finger and thumb on the like meat between the tendons lol I think it’s something that wouldn’t be obvious or like a big thing if we broke up and obviously im hoping to stay with her the rest of my life if she’ll have me or I wouldn’t be considering it but I think outside perspectives could be good making a decision like this

Updates

1 y

I got it 😅

[Vesuvius87]

It sounds like you're in the honeymoon stage of the relationship where you see everything perfect and are very euphoric about it. This can be quite common (though not necessary for all relationships) during the first year of the relationship, esp if you've been dating for a short time. However, I don't think you've reached the stage of commitment and mature love (an active decision vs just chemicals and hormones doing the job for you), that goes beyond just the initial phase with elevated emotions, high admiration and seeing them as physically attractive. This can cloud people's judgements and make them do things. It's also recommended to go beyond just selecting a relationship out of feelings and seek if you guys are compatible in goals and values.

I would recommend you to wait until the intial euphoric stage fades because it does and if mature love grows out of it, then perhaps you can place a small tattto.

[Jefftheduck]

So it’s been like a year

[Vesuvius87]

I would like you to take a note to this. This is what many people confuse for love:
The infatuation stage of a relationship is the initial, intense phase characterized by heightened emotions, often described as the "honeymoon" phase, where partners are captivated by each other's perceived perfection and spend a lot of time together.
That's not love.

[Vesuvius87]

Then you're likely in the honeymoon stage/infatuation stage.

[Jefftheduck]

I’m not sure I’ve been in long term relationships before and we have been together over a year we have broken up for brief times once or twice but I was with someone else before I met her for 8 years and when we first started dating we would occasionally get in a fight and break up but as we learned each other it happened less and less and was a stable happy relationship for years I can see this being that it’s been just over a year so how long is “honeymoon”

[Vesuvius87]

According to studies, a honeymoon stage can last anywhere from 1-3 years, then the relationship either dies or grows into actual mature love. Do you find yourself fantasizing about her 24/7, seeing her perfect, on cloud 9, having a huge admiration and just thinking of the times you're together? That's the infatuation (honeymoon) stage.

[Vesuvius87]

Or are in the stage where you are able to see her flaws and tolerate them, where there is communication, trust, deeper commitment other than just butterflies in your stomach? Do you see yourself having kids with her in the near future?

[Jefftheduck]

Sometimes yes I do think of her in those ways but there’s also things about her that are difficult and it’s definitely not always easy being with her but when we get it right together it’s the best relationship I’ve ever had I’d pick her over my 8 year relationship partner or anyone else I’ve never felt so much for anybody and I’ve dated lots I’ve had short term and long term I’ve done distance and close I’ve had crushes and infatuation that didn’t last but this feels different like I thought I loved people before until this id do anything for her I’d literally give her a kidney or something if she needed it like there is absolutely nothing I would not do for this person and even when we’re fighting and she’s upset and it’s hard even then I still love her the same when we broke up i tried dating once I was like looking at pictures of sage in the bathroom and I ended breaking it off because clearly I wasn’t over her and we got back together and it’s been great we spent a long time talking about our communication and how to make it so fights and arguments don’t lead to breaks and break ups we have gotten so much better at the maintenance side of things and I’m confident we both feel the same and want it to work but you never know what will happen sure it could blow up and even if it does I’d still like having something to signify because I have never loved anyone so much and maybe you’re right maybe I’m blinded by emotions but I don’t wanna live on the mindset of it not working out isn’t that setting myself up for failure

[Vesuvius87]

Do you guys share common beliefs, life goals and values? I'll use my marriage as an example. For instance we're both atheists (we got married at a courthouse), we both wanted kids (that was one of the main purpose of dating; like-minded person that wants kids witin a timeframe) and we're family oriented folks that seldomly drink. Well I can't drink now because I'm pregnant. Among all those compatibilities, it's followed by communication, respect and trust and if you have all that, then you have love.

[Vesuvius87]

Compatibility (beyond just the bedroom) within relationship is what actually makes it last after the initial honeymoon stage fades. If it involves having arguments, where you guys break up and then get back together several time... that relationship likely doesn't consist of compatible goals and values and therefore won't last.

[Jefftheduck]

Well so this is something I want to see through even if it doesn’t work out and it’s not several times it’s twice lol we broke up are first argument ever for a few weeks and we both wanted to get back together really bad I heard about from people she knows so it wasn’t just me and then we had another time where it was only for a couple days I don’t know if it even really counts we were just upset and if you ignore those two specific times we are really compatible we get along great and as I said some of the healthiest relationships have had fights early on you have to learn each other to me it’s not about wether you fight it’s how you fight is it healthy are you being respectful and what you do after to work on it and make it better if both people are willing to work on it and grow and learn how not to repeat simalar issues

[Jefftheduck]

Maybe it’ll be forever maybe it won’t but that at least for me wouldn’t make me regret the tat even if we broke up I’ve never loved anyone so much I wanna honor that and if I did end up dating again it’s not like an obvious thing that it was for a partner I’d probably just say sage means wisdom but I think if I’m worried too much about if it doesn’t work out I’m setting it up for failure from the start

[Vesuvius87]

Since you've broken up twice in the past and got back together, I think you should hold it on the tattoo thing. Breaking up once in a relationship would've been enough for me to determine it's really not working out. The fact that you're unsure if your relationship (''Maybe it'l be forever, maybe it won't) will last for a lifetime or not isn't really a positive sign. To be honest, just feelings and love alone doesn't exactly make a relationship last. It's more than just that and if you don't know where the relationship is heading after a year, it's probably not ideal to make a tattoo. Doing things just out of feelings instead of logic is the downfall.

[MemeSupreme]

yeah that really wouldn't be the move lol here's an alternative i did

my ex and i got a semi-colon tattoo together. it was something we'd want on our own anyway, but to make it a "couples tattoo" we got it in the same place

[RingOfFire]

OUCH!

Getting a tattoo on your colon has to hurt! Semi or not!

[MemeSupreme]

are you at a point where dad jokes are a natural instinct lol

[RingOfFire]

😉
...

[hahahmm]

It's not a good idea because a tat is permanent and yet you do not have a permanent type of commitment. If you were married that would make more sense. I mean married to someone who you were smart enough to make sure was loyal, respectful and sure about wanting to be with you long term.

[JustinTheGreat]

I see you got it already but I wanna share my opinion anyways lol

i think as long as you get a tattoo that represents them instead of getting their name/face, it’s fine.
that being said, I do have my partners name tattooed on me lol. So do what I say not as I do

[AI Opinion]

Hey there, lovebird, it sounds like you've got it bad! Falling in love makes us do the cutest things, right? The itch to express love permanently is totally a thing, and I get why you're tempted 🌱. If it’s something meaningful that feels right for you, go for it! Just remember, trends (and relationships) can change, so make sure it’s a piece you'll adore in any situation. It's sweet and thoughtful, and it seems like you’ve considered the future. You're on a love-high, and that's beautiful! Make sure it's a personal win, no matter what. 🌿💞

[AviatorTom]

Per your update, you are crazy.

[Truthatanycost]

I thought his update saying 'I got it' meant he understood how foolish it would be to get it...

[Jefftheduck]

Nope I’d post a picture but it doesn’t let me

[Screenwriter]

Put the sage plant on your hip (to the front). You can see it there and she can see it too and no one else knows and you don't have to explain if your relationship ends. Simply say you love sage. ...

[naartjie]

Haha nah it’s sweet… I just hope Sage is good to you. Wish you both the best of luck!

[RingOfFire]

Yeah definitely not a good idea to get a big "CAROLINE" tattoo on your chest and then try to get together with Melissa.

[PrettyCrumblBb]

Ngl I think tattoos are dumb.

Also you look exactly like Austin Reaves from the Lakers 🤯

[Anonymous]

That’s a good idea but that might really hurt

[molonski2]

Update = Yeah , absolutely crazy..

[Anonymous]

Never do relationship tattoos ever.

[Jefftheduck]

I get what you’re saying but it’s something that I’d get as a tattoo anyway well I wouldn’t necessarily have picked sage maybe a slightly different plant and I feel like if we did break up it wouldn’t be something that people would immediately think oh that’s for his ex does that change anything or is it more because it would remind me of breaking up with here after if that did happen I’d like to think we won’t

[Opinion Owner]

Just get a matching shirt or something , that way you can get rid of it if something does go wrong one day.

[Jefftheduck]

I’m still considering it but I’ll definitely think about your advice I’m still deciding that’s why I thought I should get some unbiased opinions first I’m aware that I’m all gaga over her and I might have some rose colored glasses but damn I don’t think I’ve ever liked someone so much and I’ve dated plenty I’m 31 so it’s not like something that I think is just a crush or anything it’s been over a year I still feel just as excited and happy about her honestly so far at least best thing that ever happened to me she’s great she’s sweet and makes me feel good about myself and we get along great I find her interesting and so cool and omg is she hot lol she definitely never has to worry about me cheating lol I’m so all about her and don’t want anyone else ever again i mean if something happens and it doesn’t work out I’d probably eventually move on but I really would like this one to stick around everybody needs different things in a relationship she’s good at the things that I need in a relationship and I’ve never been so sure about anybody so but like I’m trying to take a step back from emotions and make sure before something like this although it would be an easy cover up job I can change into something else if we broke up I don't know I’m gonna get more opinions here and talk to people around me and really try to take in advice I may not go through with it or I might I’m on the fence thus the post

[Opinion Owner]

Look at what happened to Pete Davidson dude doesn’t go well.

[Jefftheduck]

Did he get a name names are stupid because you can’t be like oh just like that plant and it’s harder to cover with something else I’m not saying my idea is best I’m just saying a name is worse lol

[Opinion Owner]

Yeah names are worse

[Dreamclouds]

There are. napkins for that

[Dreamclouds]

Wrong answer to the wrong question

[Sono83]

I don't like tattoos in general.

[Agape93]

not at all

[hello4433]

Don't do it

[Jefftheduck]

Can you elaborate if I’m gonna listen to advice I’d like to know why you think it’s not a good idea my thing is it’s not something others would know if we did break up since it’s a plant but my only concern was it being a painful reminder if we broke up that said this is still a special relationship to me even if it didn’t work out I’d still be honoring something that is real but I want your thoughts it’s not a made decision I’m just considering it