My girlfriend got a tattoo?

[shadowarrior99]

My girlfriend surprised me with a tattoo under her leg. The tattoo is the word love. I guess I am inherently biased against tattoos. I am an open minded person, and I am aware that she can do what she wants to with her body, but I just can't bring myself to accept this. IF you can help me accept this tattoo, I will give you best answer.

Updates

+1 y

She changed, cheated on me with her ex, our communication sucked. That's why she didn't tell me.

Updates

+1 y

I've uploaded my memoir on lying and cheating to Amazon's Kindle. It will be free for another four days (until August 26th), then will cost 99 cents.

The memoir even integrates Girlsaskguys, using questions and answers from this particular relationship, and shows the correct explanation.


link

[MissAlexandra]

First, drown the people out who are screaming at you and asking why you can't accept it.

I don't like tattoos, either, and it's not a big deal that you don't like them. I think what bothers you the most is that the person you thought you shared similar interests with had the capability to be so different from you and it shocked you in a bad way. The woman that maybe you saw yourself marrying has the capability to do something do different from your own character. It's only natural to question her decision and for it to upset you.

I think if you minimize the importance of the tattoo it'll help here. You're 18-24 years old, your beliefs are pretty much rounded out by now- no matter what anyone on this site tells you, we can't force you to change your mind and suddenly love tattoos.. and that's perfectly okay. You should stand firm in your beliefs and likes/dislikes! Just because your girlfriend got a tattoo doesn't mean you MUST like it. Tell her the truth; it's not something you're crazy about. And then just leave it alone. Try not to over think it.

Good luck, buddy.

[shadowarrior99]

This was an excellent response. Thank you.

[Anonymous]

Ok.

Firstly, I understand both sides.

While on a break, I mentioned to a friend that I've always wanted my belly pierced. That day, she took me and we got it done.

When he saw me/it he burst into tears. He hates tattooes and all piercings except ears.

So I understand your viewpoint. However, its my body, my choice. (It rejected and I no longer have a belly piercing but anyway...)

Yes it is her body. But it's done now, it's finished. By all means express your wish for her not to have more but don't go "OMG THATS BEAUTIFUL" because it will encourage her. Although, don't "THATS DIGUSTING" at it because she will be regretful and damage her body getting rid of it or get more through spite.

Tattoos are a difficult thing to get your head around if you don't agree with them. At least she can cover it and she was probably thinking of you when she got it...

[Prettygurl12]

This should get best answer, in my opinion. I agree with her.

[Opinion Owner]

Aww thank you for BA, appreciated :) I really do understand where you're coming from, he burst into tears and said "how could you do that to your beautiful body". Good luck. I think you're best approach would be "it's not as bad as I thought, but please don't get any more behind my back" or something?

[shadowarrior99]

that kind of what I said to her.

[CrystalMinds]

Why can't you accept it? I understand you're a bit "upset" with this, I mean, it is permanent ink on her body. But what consequences does it have? None. OK OK, she might get this and that, but if it's done in a good shop, there won't be any consequences.

You and I couldn't be more different, when I dated my last boyfriend, he got his fourth tattoo done and it just drove me crazy, in a good way. I love his tattoos, even now when we're broken up.

The first thing you should know is why you can't accept it. Is it because of the taboo that tattoos can be? Or that she didn't consult your opinion before?

Fact is, it's there, so I'm afraid you'll just have to accept it. There is no list of things you should do to reach acceptance of her tattoo.

[Distant]

Don't try to accept it, if you don't like tattoos. Just be happy with the fact that:

1) It isn't a tramp stamp

2) It doesn't suck complete ass

3) It's on a part of her body that's not always visible

If those 3 blessings don't make it a little more bearable, I don't know what will.

[shadowarrior99]

thanks... it helps a little.

[shadowarrior99]

very good response btw.

[Distant]

Thanks! Good luck with your situation.

[Lustfull]

I can't just tell you to NOT to accept it . Instead I think you should tell her what you feel about it. It obviously bothers you and you should tell her that it won't hurt your relationship. I think you will bond more with your girlfriend if you do this.

[surelyce]

I don't have a tattoo, but I want one. I don't think anything is wrong with them if they are tasteful, and small. I do understand where you are coming from. Tattoos have had a bad rap in the past and in the Philippines only prisoners have tattoos. But the times have changed and tattoos are accepted and appreciated by many. They are a sign of the times, and it sounds like your girlfriend is going with what many are doing. I don't think this will help you accept her doing it, but I must say it is sweet that she did a single word "love". It could of been something really awful like "slipper when wet".

[Anonymous]

I too am not a huge fan of tattoos, don't really see the point and so many these days are impersonal and meaningless - just a fad/done to be on trend/in style/cool/to fit in.

If it makes you feel better my ex got one after we started dating and I got used to it after about a year. If you can accept it for now you'll learn to gloss over it in time.

The way you said she surprised you with it makes me think she thought you'd like it. But you aren't happy with her decision obviously. You could say you were surprised and ask her why she got it, which may pave the way for a non-judgmental discussion.

[shadowarrior99]

help me here: link

[shadowarrior99]

i hope getting one doesn't make her want to get another one. did her damn friends convince her to get a tat or something?

[beerY33]

It's her body- she can do what she wants with it. If the rest of your relationship isn't worth overlooking the decision she made to get a tattoo, then move on, I suppose. Seems like a silly reason to throw away a relationship to me, but if you're really that against tattoos, there's not much you can do.

[MissConfused93]

Grow up. It's her body. I'm sorry but if you're this upset over a tattoo she deserves better.

Shouldn't take something special to get you to accept it. She's your girl friend. Loving her is accepting her. ALL of her. Including her tattoo

[hvannoy96]

I actually agree with you on the tattoo thing. I don't really like tattoos. I think bare skin is sexy skin. But you have to think, if you love her and think she's sexy - she should be sexy to you no matter what.

[honeyltsme]

it could have been worse if it said "Love Jason" - provided you are not Jason

[bassman]

I guess my first question is how long has she been your gf?

[shadowarrior99]

9 months

[bassman]

I would NOT be happy at all. Tattoos are deal breakers for me. If she knew how you felt about tattoos,and got one anyway...personally I'd probably call it quits. She needs to work on her surprises.

[shadowarrior99]

yeah. she thought I wouldn't care. but I told her she doesn't know me then.

[bassman]

That's right! She does not know you! LOl. Well..thanks for the heads up man. In my future relationships, I won't assume that just because she doesn't have a tattoo yet, doesn't mean she won't get one!

[bassman]

Sorry man. More than likely looking back you can now see all the signs and red flags that happened long before she cheated. Learn from this, so you'll be ready in the future. Good luck bro.

[shadowarrior99]

Yeah, ill definitely see them now. Thanks.

[Anonymous]

You have to accept it because it's not going to go away.

I also don't like tattoos on girls. You could date me because I have zero.

[Anonymous]

Get over it and stop being judgmental.nothing is as unsexy as a judgmental guy

[Fiona83]

Agreed.

[shadowarrior99]

Well, there are also women who value guys who know how to analyze and evaluate a situation; judging is part of life. In fact, girls judge ALL the time.

[Anonymous]

youre an idiot! she deserves better!

[Anonymous]

it shouldn't matter love her no matter what