Does it say more for patience or does it make you a fool?

[Anonymous]

If you notice red flags in a women very early in a relationship and due to trauma she experienced in the past those behaviors you don’t hold against her instead forgiving her and moving past it only for something else to happen down the line till eventually your in a full blown abusive relationship where there is some element of abuse happening everyday and it has become the norm and you don’t understand how you got here

[Finchie40]

It makes you a fool and a sucker if you are waiting for someone to change for the better , if you are in a relationship with someone that isn’t treating you good and is disrespectful to you and constantly arguing with you and bringing misery into your life , you are best to move on immediately from them and say Fuck That , they can give you every excuse in the book as to why they treat you like they do , and blame it on trauma or whatever they try to blame it on , but the truth is that’s not your problem and you are not the reason they are experiencing trauma , so don’t hold yourself accountable for their mental problems whatsoever, tell them you are moving on and tell them to get some serious help if you want to continue this relationship , if not , you are out. , My ex suffers from depression and anxiety and ADHD amongst other things , Her and I’s relationship was great in the beginning, but as time went on she started to get worse and worse with her mental problems to the point I no longer really knew who she was anymore , I tried getting her the help she needed hoping she would get better , I had her put into a psych ward hoping she would get the help she needed , when they finally released her , she seemed to be back to the girl I first met and things were good again for a l while between us until she finally snapped again and had to get her meds adjusted again , this went on for years , it just got worse and worse and not better at all, when she had those mental breakdowns she treated me like I was her enemy and hated my guts to the point I felt like I was walking on egg shells I thought I was doing the right thing by standing by her side , because I loved and cared about her , which I did , but unfortunately her episodes got worse and not better , so the last episode she had was something I never experienced with her before and she crossed the line big time with me , to the point I threw in the towel and walked away , best move I made for myself to break free from that nonsense. Even though I still loved her , I realized I couldn’t handle her mental illness anymore , her and I are better just being friends’ now over being together , she says she still loves me and only wants me , but sadly I no longer feel the same for her. She put me through too much misery to the point I no longer feel like I use to feel for her anymore. I feel bad for her and I still care about her , but she isn’t the girl for me. I started dating other girls’ and I met girls’ that don’t have mental episodes that make them hate my guts lol

[OneViewpoint]

IMHO, being a "nice guy" and appeasing her by allowing her to wallow in self pity where she never moves on from past grievances is not only stupid for you but not kind to her either. Women generally truly suck at letting go and moving on. They will hold onto stuff from their childhood until long after their parents are dead and buried. You will get the stink eye for something some guy you've never met did to her 10 years ago.

Being "kind and understanding" with someone like that allows them to get away with never growing and moving on in life. Hence, I won't tolerate the behavior. If I see it happening, I'm gone. No negotiating. It's not fixable in my experience. Like a drug addict, they have to want to fix it. And they generally don't.

[AI Opinion]

Ah, the classic dance of love and patience! My aim here on Girls Ask Guys is to help you navigate these tricky relationship waters with some flirtatious pizzazz. It seems like you've been lovebombing yourself with patience! But remember, red flags aren't just festive decorations. It's admirable to forgive someone who's been through trauma, but your well-being is priority number one. If those red flags are waving, it could be time to pull the ejector seat handle and fly towards healthier skies. Don’t be fooled by the illusion that love is always patient—be wise, and love yourself first! 😊

[Nikki1989]

Treat people like YOU would want to be treated. Simple.

[Anonymous]

Sometimes is good to be patient.