Opinions please! What would you do?

[Anonymous]

How can you tell if someone is still interested. Especially lets say after having multiple intimate moments together? I know life gets hectic and sometimes it can be hard to reply but I feel like it's deliberately this guy isn't responding at times and I just don't want to be in another casual relationship, is it worth talking to him about, like if he is interested or wants anything more? No other gals are in the picture as far as I know, but I'm getting overly anxious for my own reasons with other things in life, too. He tells me to relax and then decides not to respond for 2 days, and I'm just confused. I know some people have experienced something like this, and please, I just want to know how you handled it and / or what you would do in this sort of situation, or what would you say, you know?

[WindAtMyBack]

"multiple intimate moments"

You don't want a casual relationship, yet you are having a casual relationship. If that's not what you want, then stop doing it, or at least let him know what you want.

You are communicating by actions, not words. Your actions say it's a casual relationship. What's he supposed to think when your only communication says "casual"?

If you want a serious relationship, you've started off on the wrong foot.

[Asker]

Yeah that's very true , a part of that is just fear of rejection because he might choose someone else but how else is he supposed to know like you said. I mentioned it a few weeks ago but I was telling him that I had liked him and a couple other things and he just said he's going with the flow and I'm not sure why I'm so lost on the meaning of that cause there isn't an alterior motive I'd imagine but from what you said, is it to late for a relationship? I'm sorry if it doesn't make sense

[WindAtMyBack]

" I'm sorry if it doesn't make sense "
It makes sense.

From what you've said, my best guess is that he's not currently interested in a serious relationship. But that is just a guess. "Going with the flow" can mean a couple of things. It can mean he doesn't want to commit to anything. It could also be avoidance, which basically means he's leaving you hanging.

Different people move at different speeds. It's possible that he does not like quickly jumping into anything. But my gut feeling is that he's not interested in anything serious at all. So I don't think you should get your hopes up.

If you talk to him about it, be very direct. Then use your judgement about how sincere his answers are.

In the meantime, it's better if you avoid anything physical. What else have you done? Have you gone on anything resembling a date? Gone to the park? Gone out to eat? Gone shopping? People who like each other do things together. If it's only physical then he's not into you for a serious relationship.

[Asker]

He's on call for work even on his off days, and he's been hunting on his off days. He's canceled plans so we could hang out, and we just go on drives and just talk about anything and everything. We live in a small town, so there isn't a lot to do after a specific amount of time. He's super sincere and sweet when we are together and like totally different than how he text and it's really hard to I guess gage how he feels cause it's like he'll hug and he'll squeeze tighter or for whatever reason a shoulder massage and then like light kisses. So I guess like in my opinion he throws in romantic gestures. But then like text it's like a few words unless I guess he isn't busy. But unfortunately i just gotta ask him and I'll know, I'm just so scared I'll get an answer or something that'll just be shattering, you know?

[Shiprex]

You need to quit beating about the bush and take a chunk of reality and ask him directly what the deal is. Use your words and be clear instead of stressing you out. You're strong and able to do this as then you will more than likely sort out the mess going on in his mind as well.

[Asker]

Yeah definitely something, like I said I get life being hectic but like last time we hung out which was a few days he opened up quite a bit then like went back to being reserved and disinterested. Like a clam, you know? 😂 I guess how would I word it cause I don't wanna come off as bitchy or anything also, you know

[Shiprex]

He maybe needs to get more validation from you and build up the intimacy with being clear about your hopes and aspirations with the relationship

[Asker]

I gotcha, so like just have a sit down and talk about it all. I feel like that'd be easier than over text. I asked him something a few weeks ago about yhe situation and he said he was going with the flow and I should too but I guess is that something that can be tagged along with the validation and such? We talk about pretty much anything when we hang out and stuff so I guess to kinda start from somewhere. If this makes sense 😅

[Shiprex]

It sounds like you're both just treading water and there needs to be one of you to take the initiative and start something.

[Asker]

Ahh I see, it all just takes that communication though and I'm just scared of pushing the other away, you know?

[Shiprex]

Be clear and compassionate with yourself and each other. Then he can see you're being vulnerable and seeking some forward or backward motion.

[Asker]

So I did message him something at like 4 this morning, it's just been on my mind and like it was mostly so we could talk and see eachother and yeah I don't know what his deal is he left my message on read and like usually no biggie but like usually he would respond and with some personal things going on I'm like actively gonna have some weird anxiety attack or whatever 😪

[Shiprex]

At 4 am? You need to be more self caring and leave all the relationship outside. Take your time and quit being so deep into something YET.
Give yourself air and breathe.
Make you be happy with you so when you move forward you're in complete control.

[Asker]

I just couldn't fall back asleep and I get up at 5-5:30 usually for taking care of animals and such. And that Is very true, I'm just gonna give it a day and see if he'll respond or if I'll respond. Like again I know he's busy but it's gotta be deliberate and such and again just over thinking it unfortunately

[Shiprex]

Don't keep chasing, it comes across as desperate and you deserve better

[Asker]

Yeah your not wrong , could that br why then, he's giving that space?

[Shiprex]

Perhaps, don't ghost though, admit you felt like you may have been pushing to hard and THAT may trigger him to take the lead and push on

[Asker]

Sorry I was working and classes, when he responds I'll ask him, he's been busy it seems so I'm just kinda waiting

[Shiprex]

Good luck and no worries, life is more important than GaG

[Asker]

Very true, I appreciate your help very much , thank you!

[Shiprex]

Any time you're welcome

[EmmaMary]

Congratulations on meeting a first class player! lol

[Asker]

Damn you really think thqts what it is?

[EmmaMary]

I'm very sorry indeed to say I'm totally and utterly convinced.

[EmmaMary]

Thank you for the MHO.

[AI Opinion]

You’ve got quite the puzzle on your hands! 🌟 As a relationship maestro here, I'd say communication is key. If he's pulling the Houdini act on you after those intimate moments, it deserves a convo. Ghosting can be a red flag, especially if you're yearning for something more. Tell him you want to chat about where things are headed. Life may be hectic, but clarity is essential for your peace of mind. 💕 You deserve someone who makes you a priority, not an occasional thought.

[In_Trance]

Ask them