How do you feel when men call you intimidating?

[Sunshinegecko00]

I've been called intimidating by a few men and it is actually pretty hurtful.

Being called “intimidating” or “scary” — especially as a woman — often doesn’t mean someone is actually frightening. It usually means:

• You’re confident

• You have high standards

• You set boundaries

• You’re articulate and self-aware

But instead of being admired for those traits, society (and sometimes even peers) can frame them negatively, especially when people feel insecure around someone like you. It’s incredibly unfair and exhausting when your strength is misread as coldness or harshness. How do you feel?

[Finchie40]

It’s a shitty feeling for sure , I had girls’ tell me I looked intimidating when I had long hair when I was younger and I am also a broad guy that most people Wouldn’t fuck with lol so I looked like a bad guy , when really I was a nice guy , but I would still be shocked as to why people felt that way about me , I would just say you should never judge a book by it’s cover , cuz little did they realize , I actually have a big heart and treat people the same way I like to be treated in return. but I honestly never told a girl she was intimidating, I don’t care how beautiful a girl is to my eyes , if she is showing interest in me , and I find her beautiful and interesting as well , I will go for it and treat her the same way I like to be treated in return , So if you are a beautiful girl and a guy says he is intimidated by you,? What he is really saying is he is insecure by you , because your beauty makes him feel like you will eventually leave him for someone else , he unfortunately has no confidence within himself and he has very low self esteem about himself , he’s the type of guy that will always think you are cheating on him and lying to him because you will have plenty of options with men. The only way I would call a girl intimidating? , is if she is huge and built with muscle and looks like she can kick my ass lol but other than that , No. So again I know it’s a shitty feeling to be called that , but look on the bright side , he did you a favor because you deserve a guy that isn’t a coward that will choose you the same way he wants you to choose him.

[Sunshinegecko00]

That makes a lot of sense. Thank you! Also, it’s interesting that “intimidating” could also have a negative connotation to men as well.

[Finchie40]

Yea some guys’ have a hard time being honest and try to sugar coat things so he doesn’t come off as a wimp , Some guys’ have Ego’s that they stand by , to make them not look like cowards or wimps , it’s silly, but it’s how some guys’ act. So if you are a beautiful girl and his friends’ ask him why he turned you down? , he is going to act macho and act like he can do better than being with a girl like you to make himself look better , he isn’t going to be honest with his friends’ because that would make him look weak and cowardly to his friends’ if he tells them she is intimidating lol , I don’t think I ever heard a guy friend tell me an attractive girl is intimidating lol so by him telling you that is cracking me up , I’m sorry , it’s just funny to hear. Unless you can kick his ass , then that would be a different story lol

[Summeroflove]

I don’t know that those men meant it in a way that’s hurtful. A super attractive woman can be intimidating. Now there is also a difference between having high standards and unreasonable standards. I see people who have so much to offer someone throwing it away on someone worthless while someone who brings no value to the table demanding the world be handed to them by someone and never doing anything in return.

It really depends on the woman and the man’s intentions for what he’s saying. Another thing that happens when you’re someone whose attractive let’s say, makes decent money, is happy overall, confident, etc. People tend to love or hate you some admire while others become envious, jealous, and are just showing what nasty people they are when you never did anything to them.

[Account]

I have been called that a couple of times and I am still clueless on what it means.
I have even asked once and I didn't receive an answer that made any sense.
It is possibly a negative thing, but I shrug it off.
I don't care that much they can think what they want.

[Nikki1989]

I have been called that multiple times and I have no clue as to why. Some people have no issue approaching me for any reason, while others stay as far away as possible.

[AI Opinion]

Hey, fabulous human! 😎 Being called "intimidating" isn't always a diss; it's like a sneak peek into your powerhouse vibes! Confidence, high standards, and clear boundaries can shake those who aren't ready to level up. Remember, it’s not about dimming your sparkle to comfort others. Stand tall, show them who’s boss, and never let society’s insecure whispers rain on your parade. You're not scary – you're fabulous and unstoppable! Keep shining bright and let them chase your star! 🌟

[NicholasRedone]

I guess some women are go-getter's and some aren't - and men either like what they like in a woman or don't. Shrug.

Personally I'm not a go-getter. So I'd prefer to date a woman similar to me who isn't interest in climbing career ladders, just the minimum

[Shiprex]

Guys might call you intimidating if they feel you're bossy or demanding or brusque as the perceived (not the intended) trait observed. It may be that THEY don't see a softness and femininity they're expecting or seeking. It's like how a guy's sensitivity and vulnerable side may be sensed as weak not in touch with their emotional state.

[Fromdusktilldawn]

Translator

intimidating to me would be:

• you always have a grumpy/unfriendly look on your face, rarely smile
• you have a self entitled Karen attitude and dont hesitate to go on a man-bashing rant
• you curse a lot, have no respect for others and have no empathy

[Sparklight]

I have been called that and I couldn't figure out why.

[NotLongKindaGirthy]

Maybe just because you're pretty.

[Sparklight]

@NotLongKindaGirthy aw! Thank you.

[Sparklight]

@notlongkindagirthy why would that matter though? There are a lot of pretty people in the world.

[NotLongKindaGirthy]

I was just spitballing there. If you're pretty, and also unusually tall, guys might find that intimidating.

Or maybe you're pretty enough that the guy thinks you're too pretty to be dating him.

Are you really 32 by the way? You look younger than that.

[Sparklight]

@NotLongKindaGirthy I really am. Thanks.

[NotLongKindaGirthy]

Are you also really tall? You look like you might be.

[Sparklight]

@NotLongKindaGirthy uh. Like 5 ft. 8. Yes I have been asked for my ID before. My sister is 40 and looks 25. LOL She has never been ID but most would never ever believe that she is 25.

[NotLongKindaGirthy]

5.8 is pretty tall for a girl. And you're surprisingly endowed for as skinny as you are, no offense.

So yeah, I can understand guys being a little intimidated.

[NotLongKindaGirthy]

Did you ever model? That pic makes you look like you might have.

[Sparklight]

@NotLongKindaGirthy a little when younger. I didn't really like it though.

[NotLongKindaGirthy]

What do you do now?

[NotLongKindaGirthy]

Why didn't you like marketing?

[Sparklight]

@NotLongKindaGirthy just too much pressure. I didn't like that style of pressure.

[NotLongKindaGirthy]

What kind of modelling did you do?

[Sparklight]

@NotLongKindaGirthy mostly very local publications and a few local dress shops.

[NotLongKindaGirthy]

I thought maybe you were a bikini model. You have the va-va-voom for that.

Do you get hit on constantly? Like in real life?

[Sparklight]

@notlongkindagirthy I am new to the site and I couldn't decide if I needed to use the current pic for my profile. I was caught a bit of guard when taken so it was more a surprise look with not much of a smile. The other option was my background Pic when I just got out of the pool. Which do you think makes a better profile pic?

[Sparklight]

@NotLongKindaGirthy much more than I would like to. LOL I am used to it.

[NotLongKindaGirthy]

I mean, your body is definitely worth looking at. I think your face actually looks prettier in the other pic though, the just-out-of-the-pool pic. Maybe because you've got less makeup on?

If the background pic is more recent maybe use that. You don't look anywhere near 32 in either pic.

[Sparklight]

@NotLongKindaGirthy thanks. Good point. Makeup certainly makes a difference. I have heard that a lot of guys do not like much makeup.

[NotLongKindaGirthy]

Were you getting stared at a lot at the pool, the day that pic was taken?

Are you married or in a relationship or whatever?

[Sparklight]

@NotLongKindaGirthy in a relationship.

[NotLongKindaGirthy]

Is he your age? Just curious.

[Sparklight]

@NotLongKindaGirthy 2 years younger. He is 30.

[NotLongKindaGirthy]

You probably have a lot of way younger guys interested in you. You could pass for college age, or just out.

What's your age range? Just wondering.

[Sparklight]

@NotLongKindaGirthy hard to say.

[NotLongKindaGirthy]

Most girls want their age or older. But you look so much younger, maybe it's different for you.

Are you a b-cup? Just guessing from the pic you posted.

[NotLongKindaGirthy]

You don't have to answer if that question is too awkward.

[Sunshinegecko00]

@NotLongKindaGirthy @sparklight
Is that how you talk to a woman? Find some respect.

Girl stop giving this horny teenager your attention.

[Sparklight]

@ yes. That bra size question was a bit unusual.

[NotLongKindaGirthy]

Sorry. I was curious. I'll keep my curiosity to myself.

What do you do now that you're nor a model?

[Sparklight]

@sunshinegecko00 yes. I thought the bra size question was a bit too much.

[WonderingManII]

Most women make me feel uncomfortable. I feel that society has finally given them too much power. I need to be very careful around them, and it is best that I don't even open my mouth to talk to one.

[MrChinaski]

I would take it to be a compliment. Good men want to marry strong, fierce women. Weak men don't. My advice would be that any man who tells you are intimidating, you don't want to date.

[katiesmuff]

I tell them to get back to fucking work or go home!

[demonics]

Or he's a player and knows you'll eat that crap up.

[WhitneySnow]

This has never happened to me, but I admire you for being that kind of woman

[JordansGate]

Intimidating, in its connotation, implies a negative.

[grega239]

I have yet to hear a man say that a woman Intimidates him.

Stop sniffing your own farts and cool that ego

[Kingofkings1992]

No man uses the word intimidating to mean that. That’s what women think intimidating means. They’re wrong.

[Sunshinegecko00]

So what do men mean by that?
One guy said, “ I would ask you out but you are so intimidating.”

[Kingofkings1992]

I have a hard time believing that a man used that word to describe a woman

[Sunshinegecko00]

Well they did🥲 it has became an insecurity for me. I’ve also heard “masculine” and “scary”.
The only thing I can think of is maybe because of my confidence, interest in sports, and height (5’11) I certainly don’t dress masculine and I don’t have the body of a man. I’m trying to smile more 😅and be overly nice but it’s also hard to find the balance of that and not appearing as flirtatious

[Smegskull]

They mean Bossy. They just aren't allowed to use that word any more because HR class it as workplace harassment.

[Anonymous]

The only time a woman is intimidating is if she's extremely attractive.

[Sunshinegecko00]

What if I guy says, “I would ask you out but you are really intimidating”
It makes it seem like it’s my fault…

[Godihateyou]

Thays just the polite way of saying you look lime a man and act worse.

[Reina04]

It’s invigorating make me feel powerful but also sad.

[ChooChooHaha]

Depends on the context and who it's from.

[Anonymous]

Dominant girls like it.

[MasterKS]

Just dont care be who you are.

[chocolatetwopointo]

i wouldn't care