What does it mean when guys call me intimidating?

Question

i usually get it a lot by different type of guys... that I intimidate them .. what this mean?

WeaponZero · Accepted Answer

Basically what it means is that you're perceived as a high-risk woman.

When women who are already naturally good-looking invest a lot of time and effort and money into further enhancing their outward appearance, it takes it to an over-the-top level that makes them appear high-risk/high-maintenance. Basically it leads guys to assume negative things about her personality.

There's an imaginary balance scale fallacy going on here. Looks are on one end of the balance scale while positive personality traits are on the other. As one rises, the other one falls. Most guys will most easily approach a girl who has achieved equilibrium on this imaginary scale. When women who are already attractive employ artificial measures (hair job, extravagant makeup, tanning, etc), it tips the balance scale to the point where the personality aspect is so low it is practically nonexistent. In other words, in the eyes of people who believe in this false balance scale rule (which unfortunately happens to be most guys), you're walking around wearing a sign over your head that says "I'M A MATERIALISTIC SELF-ABSORBED GOLD-DIGGING BITCH WHO WILL RIP YOUR HEART OUT AND THROW IT IN THE TRASH!" just because you choose to get your hair done and have a personal sense of style that is...lets be kind and call it "maintenance-intensive."

Guys need to understand that this "balance scale" fallacy is absolute BS and is born entirely of their own insecurity.

There is however SOME truth to the high-maintenance assumption. The bottom line is that when girls walk around looking like they spend a long time getting ready in the morning, everyday, it somehow translates to them having to work harder to win and keep their affections. In today's day and age where FWB/casual relationships are common and socially acceptable, less of am emphasis is placed on relationships for guys so it just doesn't seem like it's worth putting up with to generations past.

It's human nature to try and gather as much intel as you can on a person before approaching them. Your appearance is all we have to go off of so we try to analyze what exactly it may say about your personality before we move in. And when your appearance is one that looks like work, then the results of our evaluation never bode well and thus we move on.

Little-Hippie · Accepted Answer

You're amongst the top tier of the most gorgeous women on Earth.

To some guys, that's effing intimidating and it makes them feel as if they're dealing with someone who obviously has a lot of men to choose from. Which is probably the case.

As long as you stay as beautiful as you are, you won't be able to shake that immediate stigma.

However, if you feel as though you'd like a make a guy more comfortable around you, just try to be more genuine and down to earth. Show him that you're on his level and that he doesn't need to put you on a pedestal.

Also avoid being mean or rude to anyone, anywhere, ever. Beautiful women get a bad rap for being genuinely terrible people. And they will expect it from you just as hostility might be expected of anyone open-carrying a gun. And if a guy sees you being rude or harsh to someone, even if that person has put you in a situation where that behavior might be necessary, keep in mind that it plays a part in how your personality is interpreted. People can only know what they see of you.

So you've basically been burdened with the responsibility of undoing and redirecting any preconceived notions that guys may have about who you are. You don't get the privilege of a clean slate. On behalf of all apprehensive men, I apologize. That's just how it is, hun.

Essentially, you'll have to make an extra effort to appear sweet and generous to guys because of how beautiful women like you are commonly perceived. Just be nice and welcoming and don't give a guy a reason to believe that if he would be rejected with unnecessary harshness(i.e. being told off loudly in public) if he were to make advances towards you.

You'll find that if a guy does not have a reason fear harsh rejection, he's significantly more likely to be more open about pursuing you.

SeraphenaAngel · Accepted Answer

I have also been told this by multiple guys throughout my life. The exact words were 'I am intimidating to approach'. I am 43 now and I do not look my age, so it is getting even harder because they 'assume' I am already taken, have to many to choose from, etc. etc. I am a sweet women, but until they get to know me...they will never find out. Makes it hard to date and for a lonely life. I find online is easier, cause they will approach women like us online. It's funny, cause people think pretty women/girls have it easier, when actually it is way harder. Wait until you are into a shy guy---that guy runs like the wind with all these preconceived notions-it's incredibly stupid the whole scenario.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

well I looked at your pics to judge your character and yes you're a pretty girl however the reason y they call you intimidating is because you rely on your looks too much, always pushing out your butt and wearing low cut shirts you showcase the type of girl who is very materialistic and spends hours in the mirror. With every step your take your trying to get attention and men know that you are absorbed with your image and know that they will probably get rejected by you so they are intimated to even ask.

Maggalicious · Accepted Answer

you kind of scare them  and make them nervous because you got so much going for you or might be a talkative social person, which can be intimidating for shyer guys. or you might be really quiet and serious girl and that can be intimidating for talkative out-going guys.  I've noticed if a girls head-strong, ambitous, quiet, and serious guys are more intimidated to approach because they're afraid she'll reject them rudely because of  the serious disposition she displays.

browolf · Answer

Because lots of guys have irrational beliefs about attractive/confident girls. They  perceive a social order which puts you higher up than they are simply because you are attractive & seem self-assured. Those kind of beliefs lead to worries about how to talk to you and what to say and general self doubt that you would even like them or they're not in your "league". But of course in reality no such thing exists. I wouldn't bother about it too much really, the right sort of guys for you will see past the surface and judge you for who you are inside.

MrNameless · Answer

Sorry, but because I don't know you personally (and you haven't really told us anything about you), I can't say much.

However, I'm guessing by what they mean when they say, "intimidating," is that they think you are hard to approach.

Not sure why, but it could be reasons like:

-You're very attractive

-Something about your personality. Too assertive maybe?

-You always hang around with a group of people (like girls)

Things like that...

Reiki_Z · Answer

maybe because you have mad soul power and

maybe your just to cute to talk to

and they think your the girl who says eww don't talk to me

to the shy guys who don't know how to ask a women her name

maybe you should tone it down a bit ? (idk what your doing tho haha)

by giving more eye contact and a little bit more positive thinking

Anonymous · Answer

Its simply because you are good looking to the point that they think you would never go for them because they think you could easily go for a guy like Eminem or LL Cool J and that you would much rather be with a guy that looks like one of them rather then be with a guy that doesn't come close to looking like either of them.

Kasady · Answer

I think that it means that you are unpredictable. The guys don't know what you will do next. It might kind of scare them and that's what they mean by intimidating. Some guys like it. Hope that makes you feel better, looking at it from a better side:)

lonelysadguy · Answer

your very beautiful and some shy guys get scared that you don't like them etc and they feel deep inside that you are out of there leaque etc ... in my opinion the word to describe it "intimidating" souldent be used for that type of thing

bkgodsmack · Answer

You can come as having a "hard-ass" personality and "hard to get" so to speak. You are good looking and more attractive then majority of other girls around.

trustme · Answer

it means that your scary. you are probably a very angry or loud person. you need to be sweet with guys. intimmidtating is not good.

italianstud · Answer

they think you're really hot and find it hard to approach you

waxedpants · Answer

Two possibilities .  1. You come off as batsh*t crazy and you are misinterpreting " intimidated" for " running for their lives".   Easy mistake to make.  2.  You are only meeting weak men.

spideypool · Answer

it means YOUR SO F***KING HOT! I can tell even by that little crappy pic your hot. were intimidated by hot chicks-since looks are everything

waxedpants · Answer

If a man says he is intimidated by you than he is not worthy of your attention. Period.

Anonymous · Answer

It means your hot, feel lucky.  Men are never intimidated by me & as a result, they always friend zone me :(

Anonymous · Answer

It means your attractive and hot.

What does it mean when guys call me intimidating?

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What's it mean when a guy says you're intimidating?

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