What’s the one thing you’re afraid to reveal about yourself that might change how others see you?

[melnc]

[Finchie40]

Nothing now , but for a very long time i I never told anyone that I was molested by an older woman when I was 9 to 11 years old , and never told anyone that i actually enjoyed it , so I kept it secret for a long time because I thought people would judge me for actually enjoying it , I use to fool around and have sex with her daughter as well that was my age , I was taught everything about sex at a young age by , my molester , she was the first vagina my penis entered and screwed , then I would fuck her daughter as well that was my age , my molester she taught me how to have sex and how to touch a girl the right way. My molester was good friends’ with my Mom and my mom ha No clue she was doing this stuff to me , she told me bad things would happen if I told my parents’ , so I never told my parents’ until I found out she passed away , I was 18 years old when I finally told my parents the truth. My parents’ freaked out but I told them I was ok that it didn’t effect me , but apparently it did , Years later I came across an article about being a young boy molested by an woman and this article pretty much explained my whole life to a T , I was blown away on how precise it was about my life , so I ended up going to a trauma counselor that’s been helping me cope better with myself and to understand why i do certain things different from the average male. It’s been nice getting a lot of this off my chest considering I buried it for a long time

[melnc]

What happened to you wasn't okay. That woman took advantage of you, even if parts of it felt confusing or good at the time. Kids can't consent, and she totally manipulated you by making you keep it secret.

Sadly, this kind of thing happens to way more people than you'd think، and it's still happening every damn day. The messed up part? Society still treats it like some 'lucky break' when a woman does this to a boy, instead of calling it what it is... abuse that screws people up for life.

What matters now is you're breaking the cycle. By talking about it, by working through it, you're proving it doesn't have to define you. And who knows your story might give someone else the courage to face their own truth. That's how we start changing things.

[Finchie40]

Yea i been learning a lot about myself ever since i started seeing my trauma counselor and I been getting answers that I always had a question mark about with myself. When it comes to relationships with girls’ I can only be with a girl that is loving
And submissive to me , that respects
Me like I respect her , if a girl tries to step over me and tries to be dominate outside the bedroom with me , I will leave her ass. A girl that is manipulative or controlling or dominant I see right through her and I lose all interest in her. I also can’t have sex with a girl for the hell of it , I have to feel she really wants to be with me for me to even consider having sex with her , If I feel she is using me to get off on, I won’t get hard whatsoever, it’s like a natural defense mechanism that I have protecting myself , I always wondered why some guys ‘ can just have sex with a girl for the hell of it and questioned myself as to why I can’t do that , so learning all this about myself has definitely been eye opening to me considering I buried it for so long and didn’t think it effected me in anyway , but apparently it did , I have met others’ that have been molested as well and it seems I have a lot of similarities and experiences like they did. Someone that is a molester is sick in the head , most times a molester experienced trauma as well , because even though my molester was sick in the head , she also had a loving caring heart , that she used as a cover up to make others’ think she wasn’t a bad person , she was very nice and friendly with my Mom and became friends’ with my Mom to basically lure her way to me. found out she was mentally and physically abused from her ex husband which contributed to her being the way she is. After I found out she passed away when I was 18, i eventually ran into her daughter which I thought I would never see again and she immediately apologized to me for her Mom , I told her I’m sorry to hear she passed away. She hugged me for a long

[Finchie40]

Time and we ended up spending the day and night together and we ended up having sex again , She looked so beautiful and I was head over heels for her. After we had sex I confessed to her that I would love to see her again and she said it’s probably best that we do not and she confessed she had a boyfriend already. So the was the last time I saw her a few years later I came across her on Facebook and noticed she got married and had kids’ and looked happy , I inboxed her to say Hi, and she never responded, so I just let it go because clearly she did as well

[melnc]

That apology was... let's say (extra) 😏... but It's good that you've left the past behind and found your own path

[OneViewpoint]

My unusual military background. It does change how other people see me. Every time. Romanticizing it. Thinking my life was some Hollywood action movie. Triggering extreme curiosity because it's so far outside their experience. Triggering anger or hate. Thinking that a job defines me as a person. Forcing me to dispel all the misconceptions they have. It gets really tedious. So I'll go years knowing someone before I tell them anything about that part of my life. Mostly I never tell them.

[melnc]

Honestly, people always turn what they don't understand into drama... let's just agree you're not (John Wick) or (Rambo) but you're definitely not basic either! Pro tip? Let them imagine whatever they want, you know the truth, and that's enough

[OneViewpoint]

@melnc

Thanks but nah, I can't just leave them alone to manufacture whatever crazy reality in their heads. It's bizarre. I have a friend who knows a lot about my background. Far from everything but more than almost anyone else. He's a great guy but unfortunately he loves to mention my background to other people. It has caused all kinds of problems. I've had to pull him aside and tell him DO NOT TELL ANYONE ANYTHING about that part of my background. He finally got the message.

It has caused... Guys want to fight me because they don't think I look tough enough for their Hollywood perception of a guy like me. Mind you I'm 6'2" and heavily muscled. I've had married women hang all over me in front of their husbands while their husbands either literally almost start crying or become aggressive. One married woman's understanding... she calls me a spy... oh for fuck's sake! People ask the dumbest questions. But they don't know they are asking dumb questions. They want to hear exciting stories. It's just so alien to them and so far outside their experience. It takes a lot of time to explain and unwind all their misconceptions. And sometimes nothing I say will dispel their fantasies.

I've found the best approach is to never open that can of worms in the first place.

[melnc]

Funny and annoying at the same time... like a Netflix show where you're the only one who didn't get the memo it's fiction 😂

[AI Opinion]

Here on Girls Ask Guys, making connections is the real deal, and oh boy, this question is spicy! 🌶️ For me, it's my introverted nature. Given my flirty and lively persona, people might be surprised to know that I'd rather spend my Saturday night curled up with a book than out partying. But hey, everyone has layers, right?

[Communicationisking]

Oh yeah, what's your favorite book to curl up to on a Saturday night?

[princeofromance]

I am afraid to reveal that I do not drive.

[melnc]

Chill, it's no big deal. Self-driving cars are coming soon anyway.

[Anonymous]

I've nearly been kidnapped on multiple occasions and thats the real reason im so jumpy and easily scared. My family are all aware but I don't tell people fir multiple reasons.

Some women actually get jealous and victim blame which is so fucked up. I've told women before when sharing experiences and they've made out like I'm making it up for attention and that I think highly of myself because someone wanted to kidnap me 🤣.

The other reason is because I try and laugh about it and when I tell people there like "shit alice that's not funny that's scary" and try and get me to talk about it when actually remembering the last attempt gives me panic attacks just thinking back to it.

The first 3 times I was on holiday in places like Turkey and Portugal when I was a girl. I have big blue eyes and blonde hair which is seen as really beautiful in these countries because its rare and the really local people sometimes act really strange around people with these features.

The last time I was walking home from work and a young man started driving slowly next to me and tried to talk to me. I ignored him and he kept driving fast back up the road to try and convince me to get into his car. My phone was dead and I was in the middle of an empty street. Eventually he stopped his car next to me and got out and tried to grab me. I ran so fast and didn't look back.

When I got home my sister was the only one to listen to me and ever since she's tried to protect me sometimes a little to much. I was only 18 when this happened. My brother in law worked with me at the time and called the police the next day but they said I had to be the one to report it but i was to scared and I knew there was no cctv or anything. Everything happened so fast I can't remember his car I just remember his face.

Two years later my next door neighbours son comes back home from uni. It was him I told myself I was wrong multiple times but now I'm certain it was him. He doesn't bother me now as I'm always with someone when he's around outside and I moved out my parents house. He just gives me a evil look sometimes.

I'm angry at myself for putting myself in these dangerous situations and not knowing what to do. I feel so stupid. You think to yourself when these things happen to he smart but in real life you just freeze and everything turns into a blare until your instincts scream at you to run or fight or ill play it off as nothing.

[Opinion Owner]

I just realised mine was a lot deeper than everyone else's 😬

[melnc]

Damn, girl.. lucky for you, you never met Ted Bundy, otherwise you wouldn’t be here today...
You’d just be a "mysterious statistic" in FBI files,
or maybe a "souvenir" in some true crime fan’s collection!

Are these incidents still happening to you, or are they past experiences?

[Opinion Owner]

I live in the UK so doubt the fbi will get involved. No since moving to a new town I've been safe. I know my husband wouldn't let anything happen to me.

I'm older now and still stuff happened from 10 to 18 years old. I'm very small and everytime I was nearly kidnapped it was by a person of a particular faith

[melnc]

You’re like a magnet for kidnappers and serial killers, aren’t you? Bet you still have friends though... probably a bunch of bodyguards, detectives, and that one paranoid neighbor who always carries pepper spray.

Keep surviving, you’re basically a superhero with the world’s weirdest origin story 😂

[MinaV]

White hair lacks eumelanin and is seen as old aged

[Opinion Owner]

@MinaV whose got white hair?

[Jeff51]

Ohh really

[NotLongKindaGirthy]

Just curious. Do you think there's something about you that makes you particularly attractive to kidnappers?

[Opinion Owner]

@NotLongKindaGirthy the fact I'm small and don't give off strong confidence

[NotLongKindaGirthy]

Do you look younger than you are?

Has it gotten better as you've gotten older? Do you not give off "victim" vibes anymore?

[NotLongKindaGirthy]

What about guys you date? Do they also see you as a victim?

[Anonymous]

at 16 my step-dad gave me gonorrhea

haven't told a soul about that before so enjoy that trauma dump

[melnc]

That’s an incredibly heavy thing to carry alone for so long. I'm so sorry that happened to you

[Nikki1989]

Nothing but, apart from what I get up to in the bedroom. I only go into details about that with close friends.

[beenherebefore]

My sex life. Is something only my current partner knows about and is something I will never disclose to anyone else.

[melnc]

Hey, no worries. Some stuff stays private. Cool with that

[beenherebefore]

Absolutely! Is personal and no one's business.

[melnc]

Okay?
🤔

[Lucy68]

Oh man, this would be a novel

[melnc]

I’m pretty sure it needs an +18 rating with all this drama 🤣

[Lucy68]

Most likely 😅

[Shiprex]

My ambition and passion.

[melnc]

Can you explain?

[Shiprex]

My ambition has always come from support to others snd not my own. My passion would paint me very differently in the eyes of others and society in general. I would be viewed very much differently in a less good way.

[melnc]

If helping others makes people think less of you, maybe you're giving too much of yourself. Don't forget to take care of you too.

[Shiprex]

You're right. I'm learning that now but nearly wouldn't be able to if things had gone to plan last year.

[Godihateyou]

Nothing really. I'm a sociopath and I have murdered people (not anyone that didn't deserve it) I tell people and they think I'm lying lol. I'm blessed. I can be my true self and nothing bad happens.

[melnc]

If you’re serious, I’m genuinely curious، how do you define who (deserves) it?

[Godihateyou]

Things that hurt innocents. Things that torture. Evil exists and has its purpose. If your gonna get dirt then get your dirt done quick. There is no room in this universe for unnecessary suffering.

[melnc]

The fact you need to tell everyone just proves you’re desperate for attention… and bad at being scary.
So congrats! You’re not dangerous.. just annoying

[Godihateyou]

Tell everyone? Just anonymous idiots on an anonymous app. Attention? To who. Godihayeyou? Whose that? Dangerous? If you read what I said you'd understand not only am I not Dangerous (to anyone that doesn't deserve it) I'm just your average run of the mill psychopath walking around pretending to be normal

[melnc]

Oh no… anyway 🥱

[Simslover92]

My mental health.

[Tsmit240]

Same

[Anonymous]

I never had sex, some people still don't know that fact.

[melnc]

It’s your personal choice and needs no explanation.

[Opinion Owner]

It's not actually my personal choice, all of my loves were unrequited.

[melnc]

Unrequited every time? There must be a story here… what’s your take?

[Opinion Owner]

It's quite simple, I was in love, the girls were not (every time).

[robocop666]

my employment history

[melnc]

😳😳😳

[Oldschool1981]

I've had sex with more than 700 prostitutes.

[melnc]

More than 700? Sir, you're an STD clinic

[Shortkay4568]

I'm soo overly sexual

[chocolatetwopointo]

perv

[Jeff51]

@chocolatetwopointo you perving again?

[chocolatetwopointo]

wdym?