Couples massage?

[Anonymous]

My husband (29m) and I (29f) have been married for almost a year and recently went to a couple's massage (full body aromatherapy). We were asked to wear nothing but our underwear and having another woman massage my husband just didn't sit well with me. I couldn't get over the fact that he didn't resist when she slightly pulled down his underwear and he didn't resist/ voice out discomfort. He later told me it just felt relaxing and not sexual in any way, but I'm not sure if I believe him.

He said he wouldn't do it amymore and apologised for how I feel. He's generally very shy (won't even change unless the curtins are completely shut) and was strict on saving ourselves for marriage.

We have a loving relationship and I feel I somewhat lost the respect I had for him.

[DishLady]

You lost respect for your guy while you were supposed to be RELAXING at a couples massage?
Is "she slightly pulled down his underwear" code for "she stroked him off and he came all over the room" or something? Why are you to so uptight?

Kid, you need to grow up a little. You're acting like he screwed the masseuse. Why did you make him apologize to you? That makes no sense at all. What if the dental hygienist touched his lips? Would you make him apologize for that too?

Ridiculous...

[beenherebefore]

I went to a couples massage years ago with a guy I was dating. The situation didn't make me feel uncomfortable or awkward nor I felt jealous of the Lady massaging him. At the end he told me he started getting excited when she was massaging his thigh LOL. I think is a normal reaction, not necessarily in a sexual way. Men will inevitably react to someone touching them in such situations and mind you the lady who massaged him was an old lady not his type at all. I understand what you're feeling but I think you shouldn't waste any more time thinking about it.

[Finchie40]

You shouldn’t be upset , it’s not like she blew him or anything , she is just doing her job , so instead of going to get massages why don’t you and your husband take turns giving each other massages instead and then you won’t have to worry about him getting a happy ending lol

[spartan55]

Definitely a YOU problem. Lost respect for him? 🙄 Whatever.

[Asker]

Why a me problem? I wouldn't like it if he was getting aroused by another woman

[spartan55]

Why do you think he was aroused? Were you aroused during your massage?

[Asker]

Well I thought he'd have a male masseuse and I'd have a female. But turns out he had a female masseuse. He was wearing nothing but his underwear and that too was pulled down. I felt uncomfortable with another woman rubbing all over my husband.
Besides, don't men get more easily turned on with these things?

[spartan55]

Uh, no not really.

[Alex-Snow]

Most massages are done while naked. So I do not think he did not do anything wrong and besides you were right next to him. Do not overthink it. It was not like he was cheating on you.

[DawnB]

Maybe her was comfortable because his wife was with him.

[bowenw]

I don't believe this is anything of concern. In future book a male to do his massage and a female for yours.

[PaleDale]

In that situation, arousal (if it happens) is involuntary, right?

[Jeff51]

It's ok. He can handle it. Maybe no more of those kinds of massage

[David318578]

And didn't you also get a massage?

[Asker]

That's F-F, but M-F

[David318578]

So what

[Asker]

That's what I'm not comfortable about, a woman doing it on him, a man doing it is fine

[David318578]

Then why did you go to a couples massage? And why didn't you say something before it started that you wanted a male massage for him.

And why did you not also consider the sexual situation of YOU getting a massage as well? It's probably more sexual for a woman to be rubbing all over you.

[Asker]

I thought it'd be a male doing it on him, when we realised it was a female, I didn't like it and it was too late to raise it so I tried to keep quite. I still hoped he'd say something about it amd request for a male but he didn't.

[David318578]

Ok again so what. Whatever situation that happened that you didn't like its your fault for going along with and participating in.

For you to set this up, go along with and participate in, then get angry at him?

Have you told him how upset you are with him?

[Asker]

I did say it beforehand, but I didn't want to be too controlling so I kept it at that. He aaid it'll be alright. Now I didn't know he was gonna be massaged with only his underwear on and that too pulled down. I expected him to at least tell her that he's not comfortable with that and was disappointed that he just went along with it.
It's more about his intentions, not the action of the massage itself.
I'm just not sure if he's lying about not getting aroused.

[David318578]

You also went a long with it, so I hope you are more "disappointed in yourself" for also just going along with it.

He didn't see a problem so he didn't say anything, you saw a problem and didn't say or do anything so your actions in this situation are way worse, and you have the audacity to be mad at him?

How long have you been married? Do you have kids?

[Anonymous]

Lmao 29 yet profile says 30-35.

[Asker]

I'm turning 30 this year

[abc--123]

Sounds like the issue is all in your head

[Asker]

Why though? Don't men get aroused by massages?

[CubaPirate]

Stop being so insecure is my advice

[Anonymous]

Then don’t get a massage

[MasterKS]

You thinking too much.

[wkhan_87]

Uncomfortable