If a married person falls in love with someone outside of their marriage, do they still love their partner?

Question

dynamicyandere · Accepted Answer

My initial answer to that would be:  ‘It depends.’  or  ‘It’s complicated.’  The first thing to clear up would be to define what love means to you. There’s romantic love, platonic love, and more, but let’s just stick with those 2 main categories for now. I think it’s quite possible to love multiple people in a platonic sense — just like caring for multiple family members or friends. But… Romantically? If someone is in a monogamous romantic relationship, and yet they’re fallen in love (romantically) with someone else, it shows that their attraction to their current partner is lacking. If someone is incredibly attracted to their current partner, their heart shouldn’t be able to drift so easily. But, if there’s been unfulfilled needs, unresolved issues, a lace of chemistry, a lack of romance, then that’s a prime environment for them to fall in love with someone else that can help them alleviate/escape all those things — they will be prone to catching feelings for someone else unless they are  really  diligent about setting boundaries and staying out of tempting situations or environments. If they’ve already fallen in love with someone though, it means they’ve let themselves slip — they didn’t set boundaries like they should have and they’ve allowed themselves into situations which led them to catch feelings for someone else. That’s not a good sign. Could it have been an honest mistake because of their naivety? Maybe. Could it have been simply a selfish decision? Perhaps. Either way, they’ve gotten themselves in a pickle now and they need to choose to break things off with one or the other. If they truly love their partner, they will do all they can to fix their relationship and not allow their feelings for their new romantic interest to grow or manifest into anything real (resisting the urge to act on those feelings). If they don’t love their partner enough, they will ‘go-with-the-flow’ and allow their newfound feelings to destroy their current relationship — whether by an immediate breakup or by a slow and agonizing deterioration of everything they’ve built with their partner. In my opinion, I believe that relationships should always be worked on, but if it’s truly unable to be fixed, then the kind thing to do is to break things off nice and clean rather than pretending to love. TLDR: Love will not allow that to happen. Though if it happens by honest mistake, love will not allow it to continue. Love would put an end to what breaks their partner’s heart.

Finchie40 · Accepted Answer

No, if they loved their spouse they wouldn't’ t be cheating on them with someone else period , they might care about their spouse and don’t want to hirt them , but they sure as hell don’t love them i, they just love the convenience of them. Especially if there is already a lot invested in the marriage , it’s pretty much cheaper to keep her or him lol

katiesmuff · Accepted Answer

I suppose some would support that it is possible, however I just personally can't see how someone can truly love two people at the same time romantically. I would consider that more of an obsession than love.

DishLady · Accepted Answer

Depends. Has he ever loved his partner? What's passed between them? Was he ever faithful to her? (blah blah blah)...

Love Doctor Brad · Accepted Answer

Falling in love with someone outside of a marriage can really shake things up, but it doesn't necessarily mean the love for their partner has vanished. Love isn't always a simple, one-size-fits-all thing. It could highlight unmet needs in the marriage or maybe just be a temporary infatuation. Addressing these feelings openly and honestly with a trusted third party or professional can help figure things out. Communication and introspection are the names of the game in this situation, my friend! 🌟

Summeroflove · Answer

This is a EXTREMELY complicated question that simply depends on the individual. I would say most of the time NO they do not. But people aren’t just black and white there is a lot of people who do things but feel bad about it as well as even compartmentalize themselves. It’s a weird thing.

Yes, there are people who have affairs who never feel bad about it. There are people who even get off on the act of betrayal. But there are also many people who feel bad but have low self control as well as little integrity.

But by the time someone falls for someone else more times then not any feelings left is resentment. Maybe they miss the old days of the relationship but it’s not genuine love anymore.

I can’t say for sure how everyone feels. But it’s never okay to have a affair and regardless it’s grounds for immediate divorce.

bddddd · Answer

There is nothing wrong with loving as many people as you like. It does not diminish your love for your partner.

If you want to act on that love, that's something you should negotiate with your partner. If you do not, or if you do and they do not consent, then it is just cheating.

There are plenty of books on polyamory. More than Two is a good place to start.

Good luck!

avery58 · Answer

Nope. A cheater doesn't know what love is. And yes they're a cheater just for letting themselves fall in love with another.

LiamJHayden · Answer

Someone who does that is controlled by emotions and should not have made a commitment in the first place.

Nikki1989 · Answer

We are capable of loving many people. That is NOT cheating.

Kelley1 · Answer

Men love their wives because, for them, it is just sex. Women may not.

EmmaMary · Answer

@nicki877  I would have thought the answer was blatantly obvious. smh

capriVib · Answer

Yes, one can love two people at the same time but feel more desire for one of them.

DrPepper12 · Answer

Yes. Monogamy is such a societal & individual mind fuck that completely betrays who we really and NATURALLY are!

foxsquirrell · Answer

The question is can you love two people at the same time? I don't think so. So much so that in rare and extreme cases such people have killed there partner to be free with there new love!

jahaims · Answer

No lol. I'd venture to say they are too emotionally immature to even feel love. They probably confuse limerence/lust for love.

Anonymous · Answer

Nope. They may say they do, but they don't. They may have "feelings" for that person. But "feelings" are not love. "Feelings" are just "feelings".

msc545 · Answer

Love is not exclusive. It is possible to love two or more people simultaneously, and in the same way.

blackeagle007 · Answer

Is it possible to be in love with two people at once? 🤔

Flower7 · Answer

No they do not.

WhitneySnow · Answer

Maybe. Maybe not. Depends on the person.

Vegasrunner · Answer

Men yes women no

Hornylinda01 · Answer

No that’s totally awful

nl171 · Answer

Yes it’s possible

hello4433 · Answer

Not fully

Anonymous · Answer

Yes..

If a married person falls in love with someone outside of their marriage, do they still love their partner?

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