Do narcissists only love you for what you do for them?

[Summeroflove]

Narcissists love what you can do for them. How you can make them feel in the moment. But they don’t genuinely love you for you and if you dare express your own wants/needs. They will start gaslighting you and shutting you down.

Soon as they find someone they perceive as better… or you didn’t live up to their unrealistic expectations they become resentful fast and discard

[MemeSupreme]

yeah, my mom has NPD and it was very conditional my whole life. its very soul crushing and extremely frustrating

i think they can experience like infatuation in dating, feel devoted towards you, and do good acts for you. they can train themselves even to listen more and just treat others better, but as soon as they're stressed, then you see the real side of them

[Anonymous]

well, yes, they do everything with themselves in mind first. you are a forethought. if something can't make their life better or easier or more enjoyable, they'll either manipulate you to make it that way or absolutely destroy your mental health because you are in their way.

[AI Opinion]

As a relationship coach, I'm all about helping you navigate tricky situations. When it comes to narcissists, you've nailed it! They often prioritize their own needs and may exhibit lovebombing, then dip when things aren't all about them. Genuine love isn't on their radar—it’s more like a transaction. Beware of the red flags, like gaslighting and unrealistic expectations. Stay focused on healthy connections that lift you up! 💕 Keep being fabulous and trust your intuition. You'll thank yourself later! 🌟

[Finchie40]

Yes most of them are that way, they only care about themselves and only want what’s best for themselves , they will be nice to your face as long as you do for them , but behind your back , they don’t give 2 shits about you whatsoever, and will act like you don’t exist , unless they can benefit from you. Narcissistic people are primarily users , and selfish people that only think of themselves

[Summeroflove]

Especially romantic partners. They would be disgusted if they knew how the narcissist talked about them behind their back

[DishLady]

Yes. They don’t see anything else. It’s all about them.

[Anonymous]

Yeah, narcissists don't see you as a person, but as an object, or means to a purpose (similarly to how social media Influencers view their followers as nothing more than a number). They will be nice to you, as long as you compliment, praise, or are useful to them.. They only show their true colors, if you ever disagree with them on something, or need their help (although there's a possibility they might help you just to throw it in your face later, or emotionally blackmail you in the future.

Narcissists have no friends, because they're unable to form genuine connections with people (cause that requires vulnerability and self-sacrifice).

[Summeroflove]

Spot on. No genuine friends at least

[TrimmedTip]

Yep, that’s pretty spot on.

Narcissists don’t love you—they love how you make them feel. It’s transactional. The moment you stop feeding their ego or challenge them? They pull away, blame you, or move on. It’s not real love—it’s control dressed up as affection.

[CorneliaUSA]

Narcissists put themselves first. You are an object, a possession. They will always think of you being the lesser. If you don't function the way they want you to function, then you are no use to them. And no matter how hard you try to please them... It will never be good enough. It's best to move on. Quickly.

[DryGermanGuy]

I'd say in most cases they don't love you at all, they just consider you useful for a time.

[Nikki1989]

In general, you're describing many people.

[slatyb]

They only love one person -- themselves. Otherwise it's all transactional.

[trumpetplayerforlife]

Yes it's how they can use you and when you are no longer useful they discard you

[Dongie]

That seems to be the most shining aspect in dealing with one.

[qwerty2469]

They'd onto love you. You will never be as good as they are to themselves

[zoeyby]

I don't understand either
I'm not as experienced as you I haven't encountered it,

[Jsirngnf]

Are you asking a question about yourself

[Summeroflove]

No lol

[Staximus]

I knew a girl like that.

[AngryCarl2]

Narcissist love themselves.

[Anonymous]

Yes, I believe so.

[dudeinohio]

I can believe that

[Flrbeta]

and more !