Why are certain men so jealous and insecure? What can a woman do to change that?

[TheLovelyWoman]

My husband is the jealous type and so insecure. Jealousy and insecurity are such a turn off for me.

[Summeroflove]

You can’t force a person to change. That’s point blank…. You can love someone and be loyal to someone. You can do all the things a wife should do and someone who chooses to be a certain way will keep being that way.

At the end of the day you can love him, never have affairs on him, be there for him when he’s down, be his support when he’s feeling insecure, HOWEVER once he starts taking things out on you is when it becomes a problem. There is also the projection factor such as if someone’s doing something they will tend to project that onto you.

For instance if I am married to a woman that I deeply love and trust. I wouldn’t be concerned when she’s around other men. Because I know in my heart that she would never cheat on me and if I ever suspected anything I would communicate my feelings to her and from there we would have to work things out.

Someone whose jealous doesn’t trust you. Now could that lack of trust be legitimate? The way you’re talking about your husband could be. Especially if you’re not really able to express how you feel to him if it gets shut down.

Obviously, you can be a supportive wife. When he’s not feeling the best you can cheer him up, use kind words, be his shoulder, and be someone he can express emotions to. But at the same time you can’t stop him from being jealous.

Jealous people don’t trust. He doesn’t trust YOU…. Because if he did no matter what men you were around he would know that you wouldn’t willfully have a affair with anyone else. So sure, there are men out there I wouldn’t trust that I know if they got the opportunity they would jump at it. But I would also know that my wife wouldn’t jump at it.

I am not married. I would seek marriage counseling. That’s just from what I’ve seen in other marriages. But remember marriage counseling ONLY works if BOTH people are willing to work on the marriage. If both people are willing to tell the hard truths and put the work in

[Finchie40]

Stop doing things that make him jealous and insecure , wear his shoes the same way you expect him to wear yours when it comes down to making decisions, if you can’t do that for
Your partner , then that makes you a selfish person that only cares about what you think is best for yourself , and unfortunately selfish people
Are t meant to be in relationships period , because all they care about is themselves , they think they do no wrong and they do not take accountability for their selfish actions or behaviors. So if you want your husband to stop being jealous and insecure , try to be more respectful to him and wear his shoes before making decisions. Your husband should be your top priority over everyone else , over your friends’ over your family and over your kids’ if you have any together with him. If you aren’t making your husband your top priority then he is going
To feel disrespected in the marriage with you , which can cause him to come off as jealous and insecure. But overall he is more Than likely feeling disrespected

[avery58]

Based on the questions you make he has every right to feel insecure. What you can do is show him that you're loyal and not gonna 304 around.

[AI Opinion]

Diving into relationship dynamics here! Jealousy and insecurity often stem from past experiences or self-esteem issues. A sprinkle of understanding and open communication could work wonders! 😊 Encouraging him to express his feelings might illuminate the root cause. Also, affirming your love and commitment can help tame those insecurities. Remember, change is a team effort, so ensure the bond you share is full of trust and warmth. Good luck, love expert in action! 💕

[serious]

Well, that is tough to explain. There can be various reasons for this. It could be their past experiences, their previous relationships where their partner would have done things to trigger their insecurity etc.

Another important point to consider here is what is the reason behind this jealousy and insecurity? Like is it because the other person is doing something purposefully to test them or trigger the man's insecurities or if the man is such that he tends to get insecure on his own?

If the woman is such that she has a habit of purposefully testing the man by her actions and does things to trigger his insecurities then the woman has to make an attempt to change that.

If the man gets jealous and insecure on his own then he has to find a way to deal with it.

[lightbulb27]

kinda amazing you were drawn to him. explore the sub conscious minds of each to find the attraction and what deep emotional issues the "all mighty" is working on healing so you are whole.

because he was hurt along the way or it was trained into him in culture. time to tear open the past in a loving but constructive way. trouble is, some people don't want to change.

These kinds of issues turn up around your age... after kids are made, it's time to work on inner self if the other parts of life are in place (food/shelter/security) .

[Stevepro68]

Nothing you can do. That's the trap trying to fix it or prove it's unfounded. The best way to understand about this is people that lie all the time think everyone lies. The people that steal all the time think everyone steals. The people that think you are unfaithful says more about their behavior than yours.. if he is just feels unattractive that you can reassure him. Jealousy cannot be dealt with externally. Evidence that affirm fidelity is the proof the the abuser of the reason to be jealous. It doesn't make sense but it's why conspiracy theories have so much traction in humans.

[TrimmedTip]

Jealousy and insecurity in men often stem from deep-seated fears—of inadequacy, abandonment, or losing control. But here’s the hard truth: you can’t change him. He has to want to change. What you can do:

Set non-negotiable boundaries.

"I won’t entertain accusations without proof."
"My friendships/outfits/laughs aren’t up for debate."
Call it out calmly.

"When you assume I’m flirting, it says more about your trust in me than my actions."
Refuse to enable it.

Don’t shrink your life to soothe his ego. His insecurity isn’t your responsibility to fix.
If he’s unwilling to work on it (therapy, self-reflection), ask yourself: Is this the energy you want forever? A secure man builds you up, not fences around you

[genericname85]

why would you want to change that? get with a man that isn't that. i don't understand women. why get with a broken loser just to fix them rather than going for a guy who already is exactly what you wanted from the get go?

[TheLovelyWoman]

Because jealousy and insecurity men are a turn off for me.

[genericname85]

well then why are you with one?

[slatyb]

Mostly you can do nothing -- they will change when they want to. If it's such a turn-off, why are you married to him? Do you want to stay married to him? Have you suggested relationship counseling?

[Makeushiver]

There isn't really ! such you can do. He should consider seeing a therapist. I'd probably make that. A deal breaker since insecurity cam quickly blossom into control and violence.

[OneViewpoint]

What you can do to change it is leave. He's gonna be insecure and jealous forever. But you won't be putting up with it any more.

[Malemajor]

It depends on what actions he is jealous of. Without the complete story I cannot say much.

[glennos89]

Maybe it's your behaviour that is creating his insecurities

[Anonymous]

LMAO

YOu are a dude with a fucking Pink account

[John0986]

Tell him his penis brings you joy. I know that sounds low but it'll work

[ashish804]

if the woman is beautiful... it will automatically be like that only

[msc545]

Don't cheat, and stop flirting with other men in front of your husband.

[nawtee_me]

Trust issues have to be worked out just as if it were a woman…

[In_Trance]

Probably for the same reason that some women are

[Ironco]

May stop being a whore...🤷

[zombiewoof]

Because he knows he has less to offer

[krin_m]

Not much you can do about men like that.

[Anonymous]

It's in their nature.