Why do SOME men only like to be with a woman who is insecure and has confidence issues?

Question

blueonblack22 · Accepted Answer

Well let’s look at what the exact opposite is. To be a “confident woman” does the following:

Isn’t afraid to approach men she likes. Doesn’t mean she has to be overly obvious about it but she isn’t afraid to walk up to a guy, smile and say hello.
Speaks her mind at the right time. She also puts thought into how the guy might feel and just doesn’t make stupid assumptions. If she doesn’t time it right she will think it over later. If she said something obviously unnecessary, mean or stupid she owns up to it.
She can handle reciprocal criticism. Lots of so called “confident women” Can dish it out but can’t take it. That isn’t confidence. That’s just deep insecurity similar to how a bully acts.
She can’t expect to go around acting tough, brash and outspoken but then play victim when things don’t go her way. I see this crap all the time with female celebrities vs male celebrities (Rhonda rousey was a perfect example). When she was at the top she was unfiltered in her behavior. But after her first loss she was on the Elle show pouring all her insecurities out and looking for sympathy. So much for being an “alpha” female. Men do not get this societal cushion and on the new “modern” world it’s time women don’t either if they want to be “equal” to men.
She respects men enough to speak up about not being interested vs. playing dumb. She knows how to mirror the guys approach too. If he was being polite about it she needs to the same. If he was being a dbag then she can be the same as well.

But many of the self identifying “confident” women out there feel that they can have the best of both worlds. They can be a “boss lady” when things are going well and insecure helpless victim when they aren’t. That’s what most men are really frustrated with.

zeitgeist057 · Accepted Answer

SOME men would do it for reason A, SOME for reason B, and SOME for reason C. SOME would for entirely different reason (s).

Tbh, I think they are all reasons and none of them sound really healthy. Is there a healthy way to interact with insecure people, or should we just leave them to their own devices? I used to really have a savior complex and girls like that really attracted me, not so much that I found them attractive, but more that I really wanted them to feel love and worthy of love. But after several of those types of relationships, I realized you can't fill up a bucket that has holes in it, no matter how much you pour into it.

Why do SOME men only like to be with a woman who is insecure and has confidence issues?

I will still show those kind of people love and support when I can, but I'm not interested in getting intimate with them and keep them at arms' length.

Apple1996 · Accepted Answer

Omg the gender split on this poll! 😳

They only do that for control reasons. And it's honestly dumb as shit for men to think it's the last option. It's impossible to help build someone's self confidence by loving them. The woman herself has to build that confidence on her own and in her own way without others influencing it.

Minahh · Accepted Answer

Only if it was the third one world would be a nice place... but no those women are easy to manipulate. Girls work on your Cinderella complex otherwise such jerks will take advantage of you.

ManOnFire · Answer

That is 100% just  some  men. Women more often will shack up with terrible men than vice versa.

AviatorTom · Answer

Some guys need to be in control, and it's easy to do that with an insecure not confident woman. Me, I prefer a partner, a woman who can take care of herself when necessary.

Ricky_D · Answer

The reason for me to choose “lift an insecure woman up” is because no one should feel insecure about themselves. We all have strong points and week points but we don’t show it.
I have a lot of strong points but that’s just because I’m like a sponge and read to understand how to do things that interest me.
Once you build self confidence in a person they start to thrive. Assuring them that there will be failures from time to time helps them understand that we can’t be perfect all of the time. We can’t give up though, especially if it’s something we really want to know or do as long as it won’t cause any injury or harm of course.

JSmuve · Answer

Lmao, the results of the poll are so typical. Women always thinking the worst of men. Let's be honest, the majority of women are insecure about something and lots have confidence issues. Guys don't seek out those women; you literally fall backwards into them. Typically, an insecure woman will go one of two ways; she'll either be a people-pleaser to get validation or she'll become standoffish to compensate for her insecurity. Guys like people-pleasers in women just like women like confidence in men. It's not about control; it's about having an emotional need met. Some guys might take advantage of that but some women take advantage of men. Both genders suck sometimes.

PragmaticProfit · Answer

Men often gravitate towards women whom they can protect and provoke. When women display more confidence and self-assurance than men, it can make them feel inadequate, leading to insecurity over time as the established dynamic is disrupted. On average, men tend to be less neurotic than women, contributing to the natural interplay of these dynamics. Even highly successful women can harbor insecurities within them.

Leapfrog00 · Answer

A lot of guys that do this are narcissists. They like to have someone they can have completed control over, have the girl jump to their needs, and humiliate them.

They want to control everything I. The relationship suffers because the girl can't make any decisions for herself.

I've seen this happen to so many girls, and the relationship is hard to walk away from because the guy has the girl believing she can't live without him and no one else will ever love her. It's really sad.

Kaneki05 · Answer

I wouldn't say I like it but realistically that's the only way someone ugly will get a partner. Well that or they are also ugly. Because in reality most people do care about looks.
If they are insecure and have such issues they are more likely to date someone who's below their own attractiveness.
So realistically this is just how it goes.

But if someone is liking that then I would imagine they aren't the ones just glad a girl wants to be with them.

Nikki1989 · Answer

Some men see it is an opportunity to control.

Anonymous · Answer

More sexist bullshit.

Are you people really not seeing that when a man dates someone with problems he is an evil controlling exploiter but when a woman does EXACTLY THE SAME THING she is trying to 'fix' him?

ridiculous.

You people are idiots.

Mangospacho · Answer

Chances are you’re not going to find a girl who is secure in every area and will be insecure with a couple things in their life. That’s inevitable. People who try to find insecure women are definitely controlling and looking to exploit the insecurities.

Hispanic-Cool-Guy · Answer

Those type of women are often broken individuals and easy targets to be controlled and manipluated to one's desires without much push back or none at all.

Men who purposely seek these type of vulnerable women is because they seek to take advantage of them in some sort.

Aiko_E_Lara · Answer

Men are fixers by nature so we're attracted to problems and love the satisfaction of making someone happy and finding solutions. But the modern world just ruined that trait from men. The idea of "we don't need men anymore" is the reason why men don't seem to be men anymore. So what? If she's insecure, should we just leave her alone because you think she don't need any help?

Alli39 · Answer

All three? I think all three also each represent different insecurities/emotional issues in the man. The attraction basically comes in the form of appeasing these sentiments, though how healthy it can be is questionable.

lightbulb27 · Answer

dpeends on personality. I'd think they like the feeling of saving her. if they are selfish, then they like the sense of control they gain. maybe it's what they were familiar with as a child.

WanderingLoveWizard · Answer

I do it for the 3rd reason, but it always come back to haunt me. Also, they're usually the only women I can get 🤷‍♂️

DannyUk2017 · Answer

Because is in Our nature to Take care, Protect, the opposite sex, but this days That situation changed drastically...

Smashingdoozy · Answer

Makes them feel more secure that other men aren't interested

Iron_Man · Answer

They want complete control so they can feel confident they don’t want competition

Guanfei · Answer

Because, like me, some are overprotective toward women. If they see a woman that isn't feeling right, they instinctively go to her and try to fix it, or at least make it better.

Which sounds nice, but isn't necessarily good.

PBandJ_Nerd · Answer

I'd be worried about them wanting to take control of them.

WhitneySnow · Answer

I voted the first one, but depending on the guy the third one might be true too

CassandraSpender · Answer

Had an uncle who would intentionally date the ugliest woman he could find because he would know she couldn't cheat if she wanted to

Blueeyes81 · Answer

No idea. That sounds like a nightmare of constantly need to reassure her. So I have no clue why other than a dent and scratch special.

Pacquet · Answer

This is more about attachment styles than deliberate control.

CantMissIt · Answer

A lot of men like the feeling of being needed and wanted.

DreamLife7 · Answer

Usually those types of men are insecure themselves so they want women they can tear down. Healthy men do not behave that way.

dragoblack · Answer

How about this. Why do most women only like to be with a abusive and insecure boys who won't work on themselves?

Raaj4you · Answer

Bcoz those women are imperfect persons just like everyone, they too deserve love, care and companionship.

kakaling · Answer

I actually like an independent and confident girl, of course not with ego it will loses femininity.

Anonymous · Answer

Possibly because confident women are not submissive and feminine enough

LiamJHayden · Answer

They find women like that easy to manipulate.

Shamalien · Answer

Sometimes those girls are really cute and have other great qualities

whistlingwh0res · Answer

there are men like that. they like fat women and timid girls. They don't look bad either. I don't know why

boggboss · Answer

Because she is easy to control and manipulate

Engin12 · Answer

Because we like to make them feel secure and confident

justabuddy · Answer

We like to fix things. Only thing is you can't really fix people. Just help them fix themselves.

Anonymous · Answer

Because they talk less therefore bother less.

Wise4myage · Answer

So they can control them more easily.

inhua · Answer

men don't care about a woman's confidence

pervertedjester · Answer

Some Men just like to feel needed.

Jazzy54 · Answer

It’s a narcissist’s dream come true.

ProbablyClueless · Answer

It's a control thing.

gothbxtch · Answer

option a, typically, i believe

Anonymous · Answer

because they're easy as hell

boobliker · Answer

they feel greater power over them

EaterPeter · Answer

That does not happen though

OddBeMe · Answer

They’re meek and will be easily controlled.

Bklynbadboy12 · Answer

Cause those types of females are easier to control

Anonymous · Answer

I don't understand the question.

monghjay2 · Answer

yeah sure what ever

Why do SOME men only like to be with a woman who is insecure and has confidence issues?

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