Why are men so insecure when dating or in a relationship?

[Anonymous]

It's as if they think they own us or we are their property when we flirt with other guys (even in relationships). This is precisely the reason why I refuse to get serious in flings and I never really want to settle for a long term commitment since I enjoy my freedom.

Some men even hide under their mask being "nice guys" wherein deep inside they just want to get in your pants. For me, those nice guys are actually the most possessive ones. I personally get turned off when a guy tells me that I'm beautiful. Either that compliment is too old, insincere, and even a sign that he wants to kiss my ass. Like, bitch I know I'm beautiful, shut up!

I also hate those men who claim themselves to be "highly sensitive ones", those that claim to care about a woman's emotions and all that shit. Some of the people will tell me that a good guy is hard to find. Bitch STFU! That tactic is sooo overused, like I can love myself, I don't need a guy who claims to care about my emotions. The only thing he needs to worry about is that if he's worthy of my respect. Truth is, these type of guys are actually the most narcissistic ones.

Most guys who act like this are probably those introverted nerds why are too shy to even make a move or don't know how about women.

I know deep down that I'm worthy of being pursued and I only date alpha males who are confident enough to ask me out. Besides, as a strong extraverted woman, how am I going to date a boy who's too insecure to even look at me. I'll probably be dating a kid rather than a grown ass man when I give them a chance.

[Effably]

You hit the nail on the head. You know deep down you're worth this or that. You normally know this because life and experience made it clear to you.

For guys? Ever seen that one dude who is wearing the same shirt 150 days a year? Some girl probably told him he looks nice in it and that was his only received compliment the last two years. Guys do not get the affirmation you imagine. Of course if you never get positihe reinforcement you will be insecure.

As for why they would still be insecure in a relationship with you? It could just be who they are. It is also very likely that you do not instill that sense of security. To me my past relationships have been a safe harbour. Challenging and stimulating, sure. But also a place I know I can rest my head and rely on if I ever need to. Because I have been shown I can be safe I never felt insecure. We're all a result of what we experience. Your partner being insecure is as likely to be your doing as theirs.

[Honesttguy]

Cus they dont get laid enough, if they got laid left and right they would be less insecure.
Its not really like guys get tought in school how to approach women. So realistically guys have 0 education on this matter.
So you can expect 1st grade level approaches.
Parents also didn't educate them cus they also dont know shit.
So are you angry on guys with 0 education? Do you expect them to know how to drive car like pro racer when they haven't been behind car wheel in their life? Thats just how it is, i think we need to implement in education system if we want to see any changes otherwise its just on going bs.

[Gwenhwyfar]

I’m not sure I agree with everything you’re saying but yeah some guys do get insecure and possessive

[Shy_Steve]

Lot of us Guys don't really have that much experience talking to Girls let alone asking them, I don't see why it's that bad for you because the balls in your court and you can control the situation so I don't understand why you are even asking the question.

[RyanTyson]

"I know deep down that I'm worthy of being pursued and I only date alpha males who are confident enough to ask me out. Besides, as a strong extraverted woman, how am I going to date a boy who's too insecure to even look at me"

Ok so basically you're the 80/20 meme lmao. Just go after the alpha males then if the other dudes piss you off so much.

[Anonymous]

You ruined it with the alpha male comment. I was cheering you on until that. Those classifications are utter garbage within the complexity of being a man, and I would expect an intelligent woman to know that.

[bamesjond0069]

Lmao beta alert

[Opinion Owner]

Do you even know what that means? 'Splain it to me

[bamesjond0069]

There are very very clearly two general kinds of men. Im not sure how you can't notice this unless one was extremely socially inept or extremely self absorbed they only paid attention to themselves.

[Opinion Owner]

@bamesjond0069 there are actually 5. But you'd have to be smart enough to see past an obvious false dichotomy to know it. Also, the same man could fall into different categories depending on the situation at hand. He could be the leader of his friend group, a follower among his colleagues, and an anchor in another group.

Being strong and capable vs weak and dependent is a matter of setting, and it takes a bit of wisdom to know where you fit into a group. It also takes humility and guts to be a smaller fish in a big pond vs staying in the small pond where you're comfortable as the big fish.

[Opinion Owner]

Claiming you're an alpha in all situations puts you in the fifth group. Nobody likes the fifth group.

[bamesjond0069]

Its far more simple than that. No wonder you don't get it. Do you by chance have autism? I've noticed those who do tend to make things super complex like this when there is no reason for it to be often have something like that going on.

[Opinion Owner]

@bamesjond0069 is everything you say an idiotic pop-culture-reference insult meant to make yourself seem better than the other? Or do you have thoughts of your own? I mean, you already started that you buy in to the farce that there are only two basic types of men, so I pretty much know the answer already (black-and-white reasoning is a sign of a lazy mind)

[Dchrls78104]

You lost me at "when we flirt with other guys... in a relationship". Any woman who does this behaves like a tramp; she loses my respect---and I will never date such.

[Joshua0213]

Why should you be able to flirt but I can't? Thats double standards which will never work in a relationship lol

[Jintendo18]

It’s called “oneitis”. Some people grow out of it sooner than others.

[bamesjond0069]

If you flirt w other men you're single and id be sleeping w other women.

[Abdulwahh]

True many nice guys are in genuine
Also its natural for us to flirt even while we in relationships it doesn't mean we will cheat

[Anonymous]

The irony of this question coming from a female is priceless.

[Mediterraneansoul]

Lmao says the gender that are obssessed with how they look

[Anonymous]

I feel bad for any guy that is going to have to listen to you bitch and complain

[Anonymous]

This whole thing is ridiculous lmao.

[Twalli]

Why do you flirt while in a relationship?

[TexasRed95]

Constant rejection.

[jahaims]

I'm not