This isn't a "I hate women" post. I'm just pointing things out.Why is it that when a woman has something she's insecure about that's traditionally seen as a negative/flaw, many men, if not most, will happily accept her as she is, with some men even preferring a woman like that.Insecure women get love and support from men.But when a guy has something he's insecure about that's traditionally seen as a negative/flaw, most women will happily love to sh*t on the guy and point out how "gross" it is men like him even exist. It happens a lot.Insecure men get laughed at and mocked by women who claim to be into "body positivity."If you're under six feet, don't even bother trying. You already lost.Like, this happens ALL the time, not just on GAG. There's campaigns to end "body shaming" on women and to quote, "not be fatphobic." But these SAME women will unironically sh*t on men. Literally, sometimes in the same paragraph!Are you f*cking kidding me?Although I know some men can be total assholes to women based purely on her weight or being anything over 130 pounds (59 kg) and they'll use cringey stupid words like "landwhale" if she's her ribcage isn't visible through her shirt, but I know it's not all or even most men.
But way MORE men who are nice and accepting to the opposite gender, compared to women, who are brutal to each other, and even worse to other men.
Although it's mostly a rhetorical question, I'm just asking why are things like this? Why do men seem way more open-minded, accepting, and kind compared to women?
Why does it seem like men are far nicer and accepting than women are?
Conditioning. If men were used to women flocking to us like moths to a flame, we'd probably develop the same attitudes. By and large the ultra selectivity works out pretty well until possibility separates from probability. Like women in their 30's holding the same standards they had in their 20's. An uneducated and uncouth party girl looking for a young, 6'+ man making over six figures, etc.
On the flip side those guys put up with it, don't leave or lay down an ultimatum to stop that or watch the gucci get burned. I run into unrealistic expectations while dating, or women with lots of attitude looking to get a free meal. I walk and leave them with the bill. Good thing if they tell their friends, it saves time on filtering.
I was nice, my first marriage and dating have killed that. I'm openly sadistic with my way or the highway now. Bring milk bones on a date, if her pussy is on a pedestal, pull one out and tell her to sit. If she's a masochist it can at least be fun for a minute.
Men can't blame it all on women when so many encourage the behavior for some poon instead of curbing it. Men aren't as united as women and won't simply say fuck off with that attitude (as a whole), so they can keep it.
According to this one 11% of people who responded were male users of OKC, 6% were female users, it's why I say up to a point that attitude is justified.
It's convenient for a lot of men to take it out on those because they simply have an XX chromosome, but I believe there is truth that women have more specific expectations than men, or at least they get away with it more. It's even understandable, look at most women's responses especially the younger and beautiful ones, they don't openly condemn the "flaws" of their gender.
@KlinkyCoder A flaw or strength depends on perspective and outcome. For guys not getting laid and filtered out, this would be a flaw of women, or for women who are too selective and single past 30. For those in the "infinite choice" bubble, which is the minority, not the majority, women by age and appearance, men by income and height, it's a strength to find exactly what you want.
I was in that infinite choice bubble for a while, now I am not. It's why I understand the outlook being both valid and not. If it came off that I'm taking it out on women, that is not the case, women could not be ultra selective without two major factors, the internet to allow more options, and many many men who are willing (eager) to be used. It takes two to tango, I blame men just as much for not being more assertive in what they want, you know, face to face instead of anon on boards.
Men are expendable. However there is a minority of women who recognize this double standard bs. I try to avoid the generalizations because they do exist. But they are a minority.
Female selectivity is biologically hard wired, so there will always be a double standard in this. Monogamy evolved in order to reduce the gravitation of women toward only the most attractive men, and when coupled with a healthy economy that allowed young men to provide for a family it allowed most men to find mates.
Our current circumstances are different. We are ruled by an elite that view strong families as a threat to their power and view single-income families as a reduction of the labor pool (a cost to them). Also, the one of the most loyal bases of political support for the elite are college-educated women, so the (female) body-positivity movement has the full support of the opinion-forming institutions controlled by the elites (academia and media).
In the Bible (I don't know if you are religious), Paul said that it is better for a man to marry if he has a strong biological urge. Considering the different circumstances where casual sex, never mind marriage and relationships, are less or unavailable to the "average" man, where does that lead us?
And it is evil what these elite groups are doing to the family and stuff just because they are bastards. They are going to have a place in Hell. The depressing part is that some wounds never heal, families are still broken apart, people who would've found marriage and family if it weren't for this cabal have forever lost opportunity. Even if they are punished, what is the point?
@KlinkyCoder From a Christian standpoint, I don’t think it is for us to be concerned with the eternal fate of the ruling elites or the non-ruling elites that support them.
Cultures rise, flourish, and as they become powerful and expansive cultural rot and decadence set in, resulting in decline. Some continue to persist in a static manner long after their decline is complete (China and India are examples), maintaining their cultural forms and characteristics for centuries unless acted upon by powerful external cultures or replaced by a new culture from within. Others decline catastrophically, as was the case with the Greco-Romans and appears to be the fate of the West. The chaos we are seeing now is characteristic of the late stage of the cultural lifecycle.
I think your point about the tragedy and unfairness of the current situation is valid, but we must look beyond the negative. Life is certainly unfair for young people in the West these days (men and women each have their challenges). On the other hand, for those who can see clearly the situation is much clearer today than it was when I was young. We live in an increasingly conformist and controlled society, so what I am suggesting must be done with care. We need young men who will try as much as they are able to live on their own terms, not the regime’s. In a time of increasingly weak men with decreasing average testosterone levels, such men will have a stronger chance than ever of being attractive to women. And while they might never be in a position to bring order to the increasing cultural decay and chaos, they will be able to mentor successive generations of men.
When it comes to us and short men I believe it's a combination of conditioning and instincts. I was never taught to date a specific type of man so I can't related to the conditioning part, but the men I see in my family are all tall, 5'11 or higher, so I subconsciously gravitated more toward men taller than myself; now that I think back on it, every crush I had was with someone slightly taller than me. However, I didn't have a hard no on shorter guys, they just weren't on my radar. The only short guy I had a passing crush on was a co-worker because his personality was so outgoing and likeable that his height was unnoticeable, I just saw him if that makes sense, but I was in a relationship so I refused to let it to go anywhere beyond platonic (I'm no cheater).
As for niceness among women, well... a majority of us are competitive and judgmental. It's a hard truth a lot of us don't want to accept because we want to be fair, fun, accepting of all, etc. Lies. For example, I know the man I'm with is a catch. 6'0", black, assertive, strong leadership qualities, big and huggable, etc. Women at his job have thrown slight shade at me before, but would disguise it as an "observation," or "didn't mean it in that way." Ladies, be thinking they sly, like other women don't notice the temperature dropping with all that shade. Anyway, yeah... competitive lol. Also, like some men, a majority of women judge harshly; they even judge other women for not having their hair, makeup, clothes, etc together.
For a long time I preferred making male friends since it was easier and they play PC games, but some men be making it awkward sometimes when I try to make friends without my fiancé around. So I've been trying to make more female friends, but I'm still learning how to gauges their personalities. So far I've been getting trauma-dumped on a lot.
"black, assertive, strong leadership qualities, big and huggable, etc."
That completely describes me, plus I'm intelligent too (in my opinion). Except I'm short compared to your ex; he's an inch taller than me. However, I've never once heard any woman describe any of these things, besides assertiveness, as positive or desirable traits. You're literally the first.
And didn't you say before that you're 5'9"/175 cm? If so, then you would have no desire to date anyone under 6'0" or 6'1". Your boyfriend would've just barely made the cut. If he was any shorter or eye-to-eye to you, you'd probably have no attraction to him at all. Women are like that.
I'm 5'6", same as you from a previous MyTake you've done about your journey on height (it was a great MyTake with wonderful artwork).
In my opinion leadership is important not just to get women but for men in general, because a compassionate/honest/firm leader can build a woman up as well as make sound decisions for himself and his family; a bad leader will lead a good woman and family to ruin. Does this mean a man needs to be a leader? Not necessarily, it's just something I like personally. Of course there are men who aren't leaders at all and that's okay, but they still need to be assertive, because women don't respect a yes-man. Big and huggable is just a bonus.
Also, I just asked him and my fiancé confirmed that I never once asked him about his height during our LDR (I was more concerned with getting to know him and making sure he wasn't a serial killer lol); so I was surprised that he is 6'0" when we met in person. If he was my height or shorter, I'll take notice, but continue dating him because height isn't a reason to break up with someone.
In my experience I know there are women who shame men because of their height, weight, or appearance. I think that some women are hypocritical by telling men not to be “fat phobic” or “fat shame” and do similar things in return. I think part of it is because they want to find someone who appearance wise is “on the same level” and are willing to turn perfectly fine guys down in their attempt/persistence in trying to find a man who checks all their boxes. I know many women who aren’t like this, but I have met a share of women who are. Not all of us think that we have to find the “perfect” guy (personally I put time into meeting men, even though most men don’t look at me, let alone talk to me unless it’s in a home or professional environment).
The major box that personally I look for in men is having a nice personality. Not saying that this is all men (and certainly not trying to shame anyone) but if all you do is smoke cigarettes or weed, play video games, and don’t have any hobbies that would interest me, I’m not going to invest my time because at a first look, we don’t have anything in common.
My one suggestion for anyone who’s interested... If a woman asks how you’re doing and you’ve just met her, don’t tell her straight off the bat that you’re sad & not give an explanation. Of course we want you to tell us the truth, however it isn’t a good look when you first start talking to a guy and all he responds with when you first start talking to him is “Sad and lonely” or just “Sad”.
It all boils down to the form of rejection. I really think that the whole "men and women are equal" mentality has been taken the wrong way. And that is the root of a lot of the misunderstandings between men and women. I think it needs to be emphasized that although men and women have "equal rights to get their needs met", they are very different creatures and have very different needs, are in very different places in life, and have very different perspectives on life. So, yes. Flawed women get rejected too, but in a very different way than men.
Simple. Women are biologically weaker. A flaw in a guy would mean less chances of survival for the woman if she chooses the flawed guy. So it's more serious. But if a girl looks a certain way, as long as she can bear and raise children, it won't really matter.
On the other hand, there is something invisible women have to put up with that men might have to look deeper to see. Here it is: Although women my not seem to be directly rejected, they do get indirectly rejected. It looks like this: Women with flaws are firstly rejected by their own peers much more than flawed men are (and that is very awful). Secondly, although flawed women still do receive attention from the opposite sex, it is far less frequent, and it comes from less desirable guys. Women do feel that very sharply, and it does hurt, specially if a woman wants to start a family, and more so if she needs lots of support to start one.
I knew a very nice girl whose only flaw was extreme weight. She was even ready to accept a date from an ex-convict. I'm sure that feels very awful. But other skinny yet not very nice or not very special girls could date awesome or average guys who at least didn't have a criminal record.
Average woman today is not worth a man's time. I wouldn't worry about what she thinks just like I don't worry about what street hookers, call girls, pirates or loan sharks think cause I don't associate with any of them. In general a man can be "nicer" because he has less of an inferiority complex than the typical woman. That said, I don't think it's in his interest to find most women attractive. He's better of learning to train his mind to ignore 100% of women who are hardcore feminist types or who can't show respect/give loyalty to a man.
What seems to be true from our perspective can at times be anecdotal. I think we see what we want to see if we're focused on an idea or thing. It's like when you like a new car, all of a sudden they're everywhere.
It's going to be hard for anyone to really prove their opinion on this question. That said your graphs point out you might be right with men and women on okcupid. My official answer is what seems to be true might or might not be true. We're really never going to know. There's no official polls with 100% of the population. I have traveled a lot and noticed in general some places have nicer and more accepting people in general and wondered is this in my head because I'm traveling lol
Women exaggerate in matter of looks with themselves and others. They are less willing to accept small flaws in appearance of their partners, while men need one or two things they find attractive in appearance of a girl. There are two types of men women seek, one is breeding partner which are men with good genes and provider which are often socially very good connected and have resources. Appearance of second ones is secondary. For the first group girls develop often feelings even though often very egoistic ones, choosing a guy from second group is rather a rational decision. Most women don't seek a provider on dating apps, they seek someone for sex, that's why women are very critical about appearance of men in dating apps statistics.
I think it's because of how we're generally raised; not just by our parents but by society. Women are raised to see themselves to be on pedestals and that men have to fight for us to be worthy. Whereas men grow up in a sort of brotherhood. We women compete and end up hating eachother whereas men compete, may even fight, and then have a beer together.
Not the exact way I wanted to explain it, but it's how I can make it make sense
Insecure people point out other people's flaws in one way or another doesn't matter who or how or even if it's meant that way or not there's a lot of stuff that I wish I could change about myself and I find that I am pointing stuff out about other people quite often even though most times I actually don't mean it and some say I have no filter but I do try to be careful about what I say yet it just can't be helped sometimes so I just used myself as an example but if I don't make sense that's because I haven't slept in 20 entire hours
Woman are after 1 thing too. Money. By societal norms and dogma they aren't supposed to work very hard because they are fragile. As such they take less paying and less physically demanding jobs. Meaning men usually make more. We as men have to work harder and May have higher education than women. We have to learn much more restraint and discipline with our money and lifestyle. We learn how to operate within our jobs and our jobs hierarchy meaning we learn etiquette and manners in dealing with our higher ups. Women not so much. Meaning we have to learn to be polite and respectful while women dont. They pick and choose us as partners usually not the other way around. They can be cold and hard because it's part of they way they select a mate/ sugar daddy/ donkey punch partner. Men usually settle things between other men with either an ass whooping or a sincere apology. We are the nicer gender. Plus there's aunt flo and pms on their end.
I'm not sure I agree 100% with this data. Just based on my 64 years on this planet and watching scores of people both male and female I can say this. Under the age of 30 women generally are considered to be of high value. Don't believe me? OK, test this. Get a 25-year-old to enter a bar or another type of place and start trying to meet a man. Within minutes men are coming at her. Now do the same with a male, takes them longer or not at all. I have seen more breakups where the girl had another partner within days if not weeks and the guy go for months. This starts to change after the age of 30. This whole thing is a hell of a lot more complex than some data. It's age-dependent and social status-dependent. The most selective males I have seen with regard to women are the 50+ guys. This is why I am not fully onboard with this data.
Society protects women, which allows them to do and say things men wouldn’t get away with. Look at Johnny Depp. His career is destroyed because everyone believed Amber Heard for being a woman. Google toxic relationships. It’s nothing but pictures of men abusing women or being the bad guy. Men are also the reason this happens. If men weren’t such horn dogs and stop putting women on a pedestal and treating them better just for having a vagina, it wouldn’t be this way. Women usually learn the hard way when they hit their 30’s that they aren’t special. Men learn early that they need to be successful to get what they want. Unless they are a model or born into wealth.
Because they're trying to get sex from them mostly or they're that desperate they would do anything just to get a woman to talk to them, it seems like women are more compassionate and seen as being nicer from the outside but deep down most women these days are just full of themselves BECAUSE of those desperate guys, there are plenty of men out there though, like me, who are not so accepting to all these entitled women though, and I feel like the good women out there will be more accepting than these stuck up ones, bottom line yeah women need to be more accepting of more average men and men need to be less accepting of every single woman out there and have some standards
There's a lot of truth to this. Women these days are very very fucking demanding to the point of complete foolishness. I got no time for that bullshit, therefore I stay alone by choice. I have my work, some hobbies, and a few good friends. That's all I need. Life is fulfilling as it is.
Most people are dumb, hence most women are dumb. Dumb people are not self-aware when it comes to cognitive dissonance. There is equal capacity for hypocrisy.
The reason men are nicer, however, is because women are far more sexually valuable and attractive to men than men are to women, meaning we have to cater to them at all times. This is why women can get away with doing/saying anything they want.
Men and woman are not the same and the reality is women are very fragile and insecure they've always been like this the difference is more men are now fragile and insecure. Take something like height men act likes it's such a huge turnoff for women but in reality it's just one component of status. I live less than 3 miles from Floyd Maywheather and Issaiah Thomas both 5'7 and they get more women than every guy on GAG combined. Honestly for men, women should be little more than entertainment, but so many guys listen to this b. s and are trying to treat women the way women say they want to be treated. That's never going to work.
I think it happens because of the options. A girl on a datingsite will get swarmed with messages by men. There are so many options. They start weighing options. There is a saying, beggers can't be choosers. But if you put a begger in front of a buffet, I am sure the beggar will want to try specific delicasies.
When it comes to women and our flaws, that has a bit to do with media and tabloids. We see these "perfect" bodies on magazines and see social media and how guys and gals fawn over these "perfect" bodies. It can mess with our sense of self worth. Now when it comes to how women view men this can also somewhat be attributed to those same reasons; however, me personally, if a guy has average looks but an amazing personality and can make me laugh he goes from a 6 to a 10. Not all women are like that though. There are vein people in all genders my friend.
No foresight and thats why we live in total misery on this planet. The kids won't care how much someone laughed they care how attractive/not attractive they are
Insecure people in general tend to shit on others over trivial things.
The fact that someone thinks a few inches of fat or height is going to make a difference in someone else's dating qualifications, is why they are compulsivley staring at themselves in the mirror in disgust.
I personally think only the "karen" types are promoting "body positivity", the rest usually think being obese or anorexic is gross in anyone, but don't care about minor things.
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