3 dates and no kiss or flirting

I met this great guy on a dating website and we have been on 3 dates. All of them went for hours and went great, both some day activities and dinners, we make each other laugh, talk about work, friends, hobbies, etc. We text each other every day, some days he initiates the conversation, some days I do. He is a busy man and lives a bit far, so it is not easy to meet up. After every date he said he wanted to meet up again. However, he never flirts with me and has not tried to kiss me. The last two "dates" ended up with a hug and a kiss on a cheek. The last time when saying goodbye, I initiated the kiss and wanted to see if he was going to give me his lips or a cheek, and he went for the cheek. I felt like he paused right after the kiss and maybe wanted to lean forward again, but he didn't, so I guess that was only my imagination. But I did feel like it got kind of awkward, as when you are not sure... We never talked about our previous relationships, that dating topic has not been brought up, which is odd since we met on a dating website. My worry is that he might be interested in a friendship only, but why would he make the trips to see me and insist on paying for everything? Oh, and on our second date he introduced me to some of his friend and a family member. He is a complete gentleman, holding the door and everything, but after 3 dates I would expect a kiss from a 30 year old man. He seem outgoing, has a lot of friends and does not seem shy. I am clueless as to whether he likes me or not. Other guys always say things like: You look very nice today, but he hasn't said anything like that, hasn't given me any hint =( Am I in the friend zone?

Ok, well this did not go the way I hoped it would :-( last week we had a good conversation one day, it almost felt like he was flirting! And then all of a sudden he changed! I could sense he was just answering to answer something, I had to initiate the messages... So one day I didn't message and I have not heard from him since! I have no idea what happened and would really want to know. I was thinking about calling or texting him to ask, because I think I deserve an explanation :-(


Most Helpful Guy

  • Maybe he is very shy when it comes to that part. I am pretty much the same way with every girl I dated, the dates would go fine then when the oppertunity to kiss came I got nervous and couldn't. I would always get a 2nd or 3rd date so I know they didn't dislike me but for what ever reason I couldn't make a move :P.

    • But wouldn't you at least give her a compliment or show her that you are interested in some way?

    • I would try to,being shy is like a curse. You know what it is you should do and it is easy to say you would but when your in the moment it feels impossible

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What Guys Said 1

  • No, he likes you but if he doesn't man up and make a move, he is going to fall into the friend zone.

    • Thank you for your response. I hope you are right, because I really like this guy. Should I do/say something to encourage him? I definitely don't want to make the first move myself and prefer to leave it up to the guy. How much longer should I wait ?

What Girls Said 1

  • Another update? Did he ever try to reconnect with you?

    • about 6 months later he messaged me as if nothing happened, asked how I was doing and stuff... he said he had been extremely busy at work, but it felt like he was just making an excuse. We had a nice long chat through messages, and then he said it was nice talking to me again and that we should stay in touch, but I have not heard from him. So what I learned from this experience is that I should trust my intuition. If it does not feel like he is into me, then he probably isn't :D

    • What an amazing reply, I bet it's also quite liberating not having to wait for his reply, you shouldn't have to put everything on pause because of him, your 100% right about trusting your gut.. I like that. Wise words great update! Wishing you the best!! :)