8 dates and no kiss?

[Courtneyellen93]

I've been talking to this guys for about 3 weeks now. We get a long great and we have an awesome time when we hang out. We talk on the phone and text all the time but yet nothing other than hugs. The only time he kissed me was our second time hanging out and that was on my birthday and alcohol was involved. I asked him after our 5th date why he didn't kiss me and he said that I should be patient and if he wanted to kiss me he could...
last night he said maybe tomorrow we will see what happens..
Is he taunting me or being respectful? I just can't tell at this point

[Rocherd]

Make the move yourself, maybe that's what he is waiting for; some commitment that "seals the deal". My wife made the move on me. From my experience there are a lot of girls and few women. Difference, knowing: Who, What, When, Where, Why, How. She knew I was tired of girls who can't, won't or have expectations that the guy must make the move in. Yeah, my wife still likes it when I make the move but understands she is apart of the relationship too and doesn't carry that expectation around.

[Courtneyellen93]

Maybe he is waiting for me. But I just find it odd that he hasn't made any advances at all.

[Rocherd]

What about you?

[Courtneyellen93]

I would... but I don't know how he feels about that

[Rocherd]

Show your cards or fold. Otherwise, your just torturing yourself.

[Courtneyellen93]

I am torturing myself!

[Rocherd]

however, I should warn you.. there is the possibility that he is dragging you along via manipulation, to use you.

[Courtneyellen93]

Using me how?

[Courtneyellen93]

I should also mention that he redid my rims and installed led lights in my car without me even asking

[Rocherd]

to what end varies from person to person.

[Rocherd]

okay that's different

[Rocherd]

now he has invested time

[Courtneyellen93]

He puts in effort I must say

[Courtneyellen93]

Yes and we make plans like a week in advance to do things too

[Rocherd]

... Soo he shares time you, he helps around the house (figuratively possibly literally), shared a memorable kiss with you. He made his move. Soo... what about you?

[Courtneyellen93]

I suppose you are right... I guess I am old fashioned in thinking the other way round... usually when a man likes you he makes i known though that's why I am confused

[Rocherd]

He has made it known, rather clearly, Big bright Vegas style neon sign clear.

[Courtneyellen93]

Well if he doesn't make a move tonight then I will

[Rocherd]

Even subtlety admitted to wanting to kiss you.

[Courtneyellen93]

He did?

[Rocherd]

"I asked him after our 5th date why he didn't kiss me and he said that I should be patient and if he wanted to kiss me he could... " there's a want, not a need in that statement. Kissing you is optional.

[Courtneyellen93]

Sorry I meant to put " if I wanted to kiss him I could"

[Rocherd]

well... patients could mean, he is rather old school when dating or he is waiting to see what you do and how he feels about your choice. show or fold, there's a fair chance interested in you.

[Courtneyellen93]

Thank you!

[Courtneyellen93]

Well... he didn't come over. He was shopping with his mom. Now I'm a over it. It seems like he's playing games

[prathu9]

maybe he is still not comfortable getting physical at the moment or he still thinks that it would make it awkward for him and you may feel that he is a creep and stuff like that no offense he wants to but I guess he is still thinks that thing might change after that so for that maybe he does not want to take it to the next level so I guess you should feel that is there any sign that like feeling nervous or a bit moody while together

[Courtneyellen93]

I think he gets nervous sometimes when I poke him or bump into him. I mean we play fight but not holding hands or anything. Just hugs

[Courtneyellen93]

Also he has dated a lot of crazies so maybe he taking things slow before taking it to a physical level?

[prathu9]

I guess so and maybe he wants you to do it but I guess he respect you a lot and don't wanna do any stuff like that may hurt your feeling or something relating to you that may make you upset and you won't talk to him after that... I guess that maybe a reason he is not ready to make a move I guess he wants you seriously and does not want to make things bad for both of you and I think he wants long term thing so I guess that also be one reason to look for..

[Courtneyellen93]

Well he is 29 and I'm 24 so maybe yes he is making sure it will be a long term thing.

[prathu9]

he cares that nothing goes wrong and he does not want to lose you so i think you shud make a move at least you know whats going on with him and if he is nervous so i guess you should make the move and that too with a concious mind 😂 no alcohol or stuff like that and yes dont worry he is just not ready to make the move himself and i guess he need motivation by you... you should encourage him to do different things than any other couple i am sure things will go great

[Courtneyellen93]

We shall see how tonight goes!

[prathu9]

good

[prathu9]

and best of luck for the upcoming years and wish you have a fortune with him

[Courtneyellen93]

Thank you!

[fauchelevent]

The 'we will see what happens' thing makes it sound to me like he's trying to be sexy and mysterious but it's not working...

[truthbeknown]

He just sounds really inexperienced, shy and scared. Are you his first girlfriend?

[Courtneyellen93]

Not at all. He's 29 and has at least two long terms that I know of

[truthbeknown]

Hmm, weird. You might have to make a move.

[0112358]

I'd see this as a red flag.-

[Courtneyellen93]

How?

[0112358]

Shyness would be an excuse perhaps (and it's own challenge) but you've basically told him 'why aren't you kissing me'.

So that starts suggesting he doesn't want to, or isn't sure he does.

And that's a red flag!

[Courtneyellen93]

But he continuously calls me and wants to make future plans to hang out?