We've been ' dating ' for 8 months, what next?

[Soshy]

I know you are thinking why the hell would you still be only dating someone after this period of time. I'm now wondering this myself. Up until about a month ago I was happy with things being this way. For the most part it seems like we were just friends who clearly liked each other.

We went on dates but it was really slow going. Mostly due to me being so shy and guarded. We only saw each other about once a month. We stopped talking for a while and gradually made contact again around April ish then things picked up. When we met up he said he felt I wasn't making as much effort, so I pointed out the fact we'd barely been in contact. Since then I've seen him twice a week some weeks or once every two weeks. We just spontaneously make plans on the day.

The time we've spent together has been a blast. It feels like we've become closer and I'm now more relaxed around him. There's also been a lot of sexual tension between us and kissing is really intense. Things have changed a great deal for the better. There was a point in time I thought we wouldn't talk again. So a month ago I asked what he wants And he said he wants to see how things go with us, I said I was doing the same.

I feel like it's time now, I mean we know each other enough and so on. Even when he invited me to his friends party and introduced me as his friend, I thought I don't wanna be your friend no more lol. I just dont know what's going through his mind... I feel like I'd be trying to coax him into something he's not ready for yet.

What should I do?

[OlderAndWiser]

It is time for The Talk. "I have developed feelings for you that are growing stronger and that makes me excited. I imagine us getting even closer and that's what I want. I want to be your girlfriend and not just your friend. If you feel the same way, this is the best thing that has ever happened to me. But if you don't feel that way, I need to back off before I get too involved and end up getting devastated. So, I need to know, when you think about the future, like 6 months or a year from now, what do you see happening for us?"

If he wants what you want, then you ask, "A physical relationship between us is something that we need to develop sooner or later. When do you think we should take this to the next level?"

If you are going to advance to a sexual relationship, remember that many people do not plan such things but they just "let it happen." However, you should be prepared for contraception and minimizing the risk of STDs.

[madhatters4]

the only way to take steps in a relationship is through communication. so communicate your feelings and desires.

I do think that 8 months is fine to be "dating" someone. heck I 'dated' my wife for 3 years before we got married. however in that time we discussed what we wanted in general and in a relationship. we established what we were. if you want change the label of friend to girlfriend or to be exclusive just find a way to broach the subject with him

[Anonymous]

What's next is you take the dating out of quotations. If h can't do that then you need to walk away